Me and my ex had a unique relationship.
He is a great person but he was a terrible boyfriend and I just leave it at that. He was never abusive at all but he had hurt me.
The break up was long and painful. Lots of tears, lots of fear if we made the right decision, lots of feeling lost and sad in both sides.
We have stayed in good ish terms. Talked and shared superficial stuff with each other on a regular.
I don’t mean that our relationship was superficial but I think we wanted to keep some kind of relationship going but also start building our own life/giving each other space.
A few weeks ago we talked on the phone. It was just a quick 5min chat. He was semi occupied at…
At the end when we were saying goodbye he said ‘I love you’ exactly the same way he would have said it while we were together.
Like okay, ‘have a good day! Enjoy/have fun at XYZ. Speak later’ and reply ‘sounds good. You too. I love you’
and that was that…
I kind of dismissed that he said that… I honestly just thought that it was a reflex reply. But then he went off the radar after and haven’t heard from him since.
I haven’t contacted him. The truth is that I was willing to work on the relationship and he pulled the plug. I didn’t want to stay in our old set up but I was willing to make changes and work on it.
It’s been hard and mostly tried to control reaching out to him. But I knew it was the best for me and perhaps him too. I miss him terribly as a person, and I feel bad for admitting that I still have feelings for him, but I know he wasn’t putting the effort into our relationship.
I wonder now though, was that I love you at our last chat a confused reflex goodby or something else?
ps we broke up about 9 months ago