Would you contact Father you have never had contact with?

[Ladyoftheapple]

Posting here for traffic.

Would you contact your Father if you had never before?

For context, I am the earlier side of 30. My Mother had me young (late teens) and was due to get married to my Father. However, according to her he changed once she moved in with him and he beat her if the house wasn't tidy when he came home from work etc etc. So she called it off after a tragedy on my Mum's side of the family made her think twice about what she was getting into.

The part that's always been a bit off for me and I've heard multiple stories is that he never bothered with me but I've also on varying occasions been told that My mother told him I wasn't his because they didn't want him to have any custody. I've also heard that my Mum's brother threatened their side of the family to stay well away.

The thing is, thoughtout my childhood I wasn't really bothered. However, now I find myself more curious. He lives about 10 mins away from me (all still in the same town), I drive past his Mother's house every day

If he was violent and told that you weren’t his child when you are, it might put your mother’s safety at risk too.

I wouldn’t. I would believe every word you have been told about him. He hasn’t proved anything different in all of these years of living close by you, has he?
You will probably just end up bringing pain into yours and your mothers life. He was an absent father, and your mother was there for you. That would be all I needed to know in your shoes.

I'm getting the general consensus that steering clear is probably best and I think you are all probably right, thanks. I do think if he was a good person he would've reached out himself. I guess curiosity just gets the better of me sometimes.

Just to update this, I actually saw him while out and about yesterday and I braved it and said hello, he seemed pleased to see me and took my number and phoned mine so I had his. This was yesterday early afternoon, I won’t be contacting him as I made contact first and he’s had over three decades to contact his daughter. Anyway, he has not made contact so I assume he is not going to now. I guess if he doesn’t then it is very telling and I have my answer and can put it to rest. At least then I know for sure he doesn’t deserve me anyway.