Wanky interview questions

[CaptainCarrotsBigSword]

I've got an interview next week and as it's through an agency, they've sent me some prep materials.

One of the listed examples of questions they might ask is this:

• Tell me about a time when you feel you have missed an opportunity to do something you wanted to in life?

Is it me or is that a bit too bloody personal?? I don't particularly want to tell a stranger my life regrets, unless I'm in a therapy session! And what is that going to tell you about how good or not I'm likely to be at doing the job?!

I personally think all interviews with questions, personality "assessments", competency ant tech tests are a massive waste of everyone's time. Interviewers ask wanky, out there questions, HR are always ferrying out the latest fad in trying to catch people out and interviewees know how to play the system.

Look at someones experience. Take a personal and professional reference. Set a 3 month probie. As an employer, respect that the interview is as much for the person interested as it is you and drop all the bullshit.

I'd go further than that op and say that all the classic 'interview questions' are utter wank and encourage lying or blowing your own trumpet. Thereby discriminating against the humble, the neurodiverse and the honest non twats alike.

Here's an honest interview

Why are you applying for this role?

I need money to live.

What is it about out company that attracted you to the role?
The money you'll pay me for something I'm capable of doing.

What are your strengths?
Disney Karaoke word for word, cats eye eyeliner and doing sambuca shots.

What are your weakness?
Older bad boys with dark eyes and hair, yum yums and laziness.

What do you do in your spare time?
Moan to my family about having to work.

Where do you see yourself in five years time.
I don't like to think about it. It's too depressing, but sometimes I dream a distant relative left me enough money so I could get a job with a decent work/life balance.

Tell me about a time you had to solve a particularly difficult challenge?
At university I lost the communal corkscrew opener and had to open a bottle of wine with a combination of a small knife and my teeth.

Have you any questions for me?
No, I've not been listening for at least five minutes.

@JudgyGarland I think you and I would get along very well. Let's sack off this work shite and go get sloshed in the pub instead.

😂

I once got "why should we employ you" and I responded "because I'm bloody good at the job". They decided to employ me. Answer the question with the same energy it was asked.

These questions are about finding out whether and how you'd fit in with the team. They might ask you out-there questions to test your skills in thinking on your feet or see what personality shines through under pressure. The questions are rarely ever about the content (as long as you don't spout complete rubbish). They get that from your CV. Interviews are about seeing how you present.

I’d tell them about that missed opportunity to shag Brad Pitt.
I agree, wanky question.

Make it up. Simples.

We could set up our own exclusive bar. Call it 'Wankers'. Have a very exclusive interview process where we ask all the wanku questions and only the most honest/sarcastic people get to join. They then are sworn to secrecy but allowed to bandy about dishonest wanky answers they get so we could get wanky answers to laugh at.

One of the questions would be, do you mind drinking wine with bits of cork in it. The answer would have to be no or ill use a straw to get in.

Oh I will. But prizing and awarding the ability to spout bullshit in response to a bullshit question is how we end up with people like Boris the Cunt Waffle (excellent, btw) in charge of countries.

Definitely. Can talk the (shit) talk but not walk the walk.

He couldn't even take photo ID to vote.

100% agree about him. Hence my username.

I had my kids straight after uni and now they are older I wanted to move to full time roles and I was genuinely told on repeat by recruiters to work this into interviews so they knew I wasn't planning more kids and that I was going to full time to focus on my career asy kids were older etc as it's a huge tick for me as they won't 'get in the way'

I agree most interview questions are wank and have already been answered on your application form/CV - additionally most interviewers lack appropriate skills (in my experience) and don’t know how to test the candidates ability etc.

However, in my experience the broadening out of questions to include ‘life’ experiences is usually to make them fairer for candidates who may not have a lot of work experience/qualifications to draw upon (or for roles that don’t require you to have it).

So your wank question could be somebody else’s lifeline as they have no work/education examples to use.

all interviews with questions, personality "assessments", competency ant tech tests are a massive waste of everyone's time.

Why are tech tests a waste of time? I'm going for technical roles - it seems relevant.