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Original poster

2 year old potty training when out and about

25 replies

tantrumz · 03/05/2024 13:36

My Two year old ( just turned two this week ) has been out of nappies in the day time for around 4-5 weeks. He still wears nappies at night.

He's doing really well at home and at nursery. He says he needs to go and asks an adult to go with him. Sometimes he plays around and doesn't actually go, which is a bit annoying.

The main issue arises when we go out and about really. I try to make him go before we leave, but he won't go. He generally will never go, unless he decides he needs go. Prompting doesn't work.

He has accidents in his car seat sometimes. Sometimes he says he needs to go, so I pull over and put him on his travel potty. He protests, but generally does do a wee there when he needs to.

When we are out and about somewhere I ask him if he needs to go, if I see him touching his Willy or something, but he always says no. Or when he does say yes, I take him to the bathroom and he gets on the seat and then wants to get straight back off, a million times ! It's really annoying and like a game to him. Earlier I took him to a play group and I saw him touching a few times and times and said, let's go to the toilet etc. he just refused to come with me. So in the end he had an accident.

I really don't want to put a nappy on him when out and about.

He seems to think it's a bit of a game or maybe he's scared of toilets he doesn't know ? He has a toilet seat cover thing to make it easier. Sometimes he does go to the toilet, but other times it becomes a game.

Any advice ?

OP posts:
titchy · 03/05/2024 13:37

Teach him to do stand up wees!

Original poster
tantrumz · 03/05/2024 13:46

titchy · 03/05/2024 13:37

Teach him to do stand up wees!

How do I do that ??

OP posts:
Somethingsnappy · 03/05/2024 13:56

titchy · 03/05/2024 13:37

Teach him to do stand up wees!

It's possible that a just turned two year old may still be too small for stand-up wees. My son is 3, and tall for his age, and is only just tall enough for them.

It's tough op. He's so young, and annoyingly it is often a game for them! In your shoes, I think I'd ride it out, but meanwhile I'd get some of those toilet training pants, that look and feel like normal underwear, but have an absorbent strip, like towelling or something even more modern. It would save you the bother of accidents. Not everyone would want to do that, but we always did, and it didn't delay their progress in our experience (4 children).

KnickerlessParsons · 03/05/2024 13:58

My advice is to not go "out and about" until he's got the hang of it.

I don't suppose that's much help though I had girls

Namechange13101 · 03/05/2024 14:07

I found telling my two (DD trained in 5 days at 2.3 month and DS fully trained quicker in 3 days before his second birthday!) we were going to the toilet rather than asking them helped....as then they couldn't say no! Also we used the same travel toilet seat not a potty at home and out and about so it was the same regardless of where we went.

TheBirdintheCave · 03/05/2024 14:12

Namechange13101 · 03/05/2024 14:07

I found telling my two (DD trained in 5 days at 2.3 month and DS fully trained quicker in 3 days before his second birthday!) we were going to the toilet rather than asking them helped....as then they couldn't say no! Also we used the same travel toilet seat not a potty at home and out and about so it was the same regardless of where we went.

Edited

Yep, this is exactly what we did. Toilet visits were not optional. They're still not optional even now son is 3.5 and has been trained for over a year to be honest 😂

givemushypeasachance · 03/05/2024 14:17

Just turned 2yo is quite young for toilet training these days.

Everything is a game to 2yos, they don't care that it's annoying to their parents! Being able to influence your behaviour and control things is rewarding, and it's funny if adults get flustered because you sit on and off a toilet a dozen times and don't wee.

InTheRainOnATrain · 03/05/2024 14:19

We had this. In the end I got really strict on it. No leaving the house until he’d been for a wee. Obviously pick your moment to start this when it’s going somewhere he wants to go and it doesn’t matter if you’re late or don’t turn up eg an outing to soft play. When we were out again he used the toilet (or travel potty in the toilet) or we went home, and if he refused then had an accident minutes later I followed through and we left. I know sounds harsh but only had to do it once and it worked. Stand up wees we’re only cracking now at 3- 2 was too tiny to successfully aim!

NoCloudsAllowed · 03/05/2024 14:23

What @InTheRainOnATrain said

I don't believe in stand up wees, they're a licence for men to piss everywhere:)

I also made the consequence of wetting boring for DC, so they'd help with mopping, wiping, made a big deal out of having to stop playing etc. Once I knew they could do it if they wanted. Makes them see the downside for them of not bothering to go.

titchy · 03/05/2024 14:30

How can he be too short for a stand up wee? You just have a step by the toilet. My less than 2nd centile ds was standing up a month after potty training! Same age.

Make it a game - in the garden and see if he can aim into a bucket, then move to aiming at little bits of toilet paper scrunched up in the toilet.

titchy · 03/05/2024 14:32

I don't believe in stand up wees, they're a licence for men to piss everywhere:)

No - that's on you as a parent. Male toilets have urinals. All boys will use urinals at some point, regardless of whether you believe in it or not.

Original poster
tantrumz · 03/05/2024 15:23

Namechange13101 · 03/05/2024 14:07

I found telling my two (DD trained in 5 days at 2.3 month and DS fully trained quicker in 3 days before his second birthday!) we were going to the toilet rather than asking them helped....as then they couldn't say no! Also we used the same travel toilet seat not a potty at home and out and about so it was the same regardless of where we went.

Edited

I also just take him, but he cries.

OP posts:
Original poster
tantrumz · 03/05/2024 15:25

KnickerlessParsons · 03/05/2024 13:58

My advice is to not go "out and about" until he's got the hang of it.

I don't suppose that's much help though I had girls

It's been 5 weeks ! Sometimes I have to go out and about, like when we drive his sister to school !

OP posts:
Original poster
tantrumz · 04/05/2024 07:29

Would it be awfully confusing if I put a nappy on him if he has to be on the school run and hasn't gone to the toilet before ? The school run is over an hour there and back home.

OP posts:
2under2blah · 04/05/2024 07:36

tantrumz · 04/05/2024 07:29

Would it be awfully confusing if I put a nappy on him if he has to be on the school run and hasn't gone to the toilet before ? The school run is over an hour there and back home.

Yes too confusing

Didimum · 04/05/2024 07:42

Namechange13101 · 03/05/2024 14:07

I found telling my two (DD trained in 5 days at 2.3 month and DS fully trained quicker in 3 days before his second birthday!) we were going to the toilet rather than asking them helped....as then they couldn't say no! Also we used the same travel toilet seat not a potty at home and out and about so it was the same regardless of where we went.

Edited

I second this. To be honest my six year old will want to avoid going for a safety wee before leaving the house or leaving something he wants to do when he needs to go – he will wait til he is desperate. He just finds going to the bathroom a chore! I simply tell him we’re going and that’s that.

However a 2yr old faffing about and getting on and off the toilet without going is very normal and you just have to wait for them to mature out of it.

Didimum · 04/05/2024 07:43

tantrumz · 04/05/2024 07:29

Would it be awfully confusing if I put a nappy on him if he has to be on the school run and hasn't gone to the toilet before ? The school run is over an hour there and back home.

100% never do this with a potty trained/training child.

Whereinharrogate · 04/05/2024 07:51

For the school run you could get some puppy training pads and use them to line his car seat. Avoids the confusion of nappy but eases clear up for you. Don't tell him what they are for, I think I said they were a special cushion to make his seat more comfortable or something. Also I put them on his pushchair.

InTheRainOnATrain · 04/05/2024 08:12

tantrumz · 04/05/2024 07:29

Would it be awfully confusing if I put a nappy on him if he has to be on the school run and hasn't gone to the toilet before ? The school run is over an hour there and back home.

By putting him a nappy on you’d be saying it’s optional and long term could make things worse. You could use a puppy pad or look on amazon for a washable version plus the reusable training pants that are like undies with a more absorbent crotch.

Really though you have to get him weeing on demand so he goes before you leave, and will use a public toilet when asked out of the house. Obviously the school run is time sensitive but make a point of insisting this weekend when you’re on a slower schedule and can wait it out. Get your older child involved to show him how we go for a wee before leaving. If that still doesn’t work then maybe he isn’t ready. He’s still very very young and 5 weeks in and still having accidents every time you go out because of a refusal to even try the potty or toilet isn’t as much progress as you’d expect given how long it’s been.

SmallestInTheClass · 04/05/2024 08:16

Don't put a nappy on only some of the time, you would be better just to go back to nappies full time and give it another go in 6 months. But sounds like he's making great progress. I'd stick with it. Can you do a reward chart for sitting on the potty while out? He gets the sticker for sitting on the potty for a whole minute whether he wees or not? Worked well for us

Original poster
tantrumz · 04/05/2024 08:33

@InTheRainOnATrain he is young. But I can't go back to full time nappies now.

Also, the accidents don't happen every time we go out. Just sometimes.

Sometimes he tells me he needs to go when we are out and I take him and he goes. Other times not. On balance, more times than not, he does tell me and he goes and it's fine.

OP posts:
Original poster
tantrumz · 04/05/2024 08:40

We are going out all day today to the farm and lunch etc. should be interesting !

I had a very different experience with my older child.

She somehow developed a fear of the toilet and off wetting herself. I got serious about trying with her when she was 2 and a half and had a few stop starts, as she just refused to sit down on the toilet or potty. She'd then wet herself and be so upset that she'd hold onto her pee for hours and hours and hours. I tried 3 times between 2 and a half and 3 with her. On the third time I just persevered and one day, she just did the wee in the potty and realised that it meant she didn't get wet. It clicked and that was that. But it took a long time for her to get to that point. She was between 2 and a half and 3 when it worked ( more towards 3).

The little one has been interested in the toilet for ages and I had a potty out and he suddenly just started going in it, so I went with it.

So, on both counts, it's not been easy ! And completely different things have happened. My daughter found the first bit hard, but once it clicked, it was a breeze and no accidents.

My son is finding the first bit easy, but struggling when out and about.

Nothing is predictable!

But I just can't go back and it's also not right to make nappies optional. Therefore we will just have to be patient and stick with it.

I'm not sure he really gets rewards and stickers yet, but I could try.

OP posts:
Perfect28 · 04/05/2024 08:51

Don't ask, just tell them - we are using the toilet

StMarieforme · 04/05/2024 09:27

I carried a potty on the back of the pushchair. He did a wee wherever we were. No problems. (Did get evil looks in the corner of John Lewis once but I just said "would you have preferred him to see on the floor?"!)

takealettermsjones · 04/05/2024 09:38

Following with interest as I've potty trained two girls and coming up to potty training a boy in the next few months!

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