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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Telling things as I see it

5 replies

rainyday2 · 03/05/2024 11:49

Sister and spouse, both of whom I love dearly, came and stayed with me for 4 months with their 10 year old while their property was being renovated. Spouse works, cleans, shops, helps with homework. Sister cooks, is terribly untidy and messy, sets no boundaries for herself or son (e.g., they co-sleep and wake up past 10am when ever possible and go to bed at 11pm), watch inane YouTube clips for hours. Sister and spouse constantly undermine each other, both in denial about the responsibility they each have to make things work. Spouse yells, screams and pulls most of the weight at home. Sister disengaged, constantly moaning (nothing new), believes she deserves a better life but makes no attempt to reach it. They have no issues with money or health (mental/physical). I can't bare to watch. Sister constantly whines to me about how dysfunctional spouse is and I'm tired of listening. Now that I've seen first hand how they operate I feel they are both to be blamed and yes, I have formed opinions. Am I being unreasonable for telling things as I see it?

OP posts:
foodglorious · 03/05/2024 11:51

No your not, but id make sure i do it in a kind non judgmental manner.

As ive got older ive realized its better to be like that than just straight out opinionated.

FlissyPaps · 03/05/2024 11:52

I wouldn’t want messy people who yell and scream living with me. Did they behave this way in your home? Because if so, I would have chucked them out after 2 days.

Also co-sleeping with a 10 yo??

SwingTheMonkey · 03/05/2024 12:09

I wouldn’t get involved, personally. You won’t be thanked for it.

DivergentTris · 03/05/2024 12:30

They both sound like they need their heads banging together and a rocket up their arses.

As pp said, keep it non judgmental and spell it out to them

Testina · 03/05/2024 12:35

Sounds like they’ve moved out now.
Why do you need to tell them anything?

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