Husband online

[Mimi987]

Husband is it feels quite frequently looking at girls online half naked etc
instagram and TikTok from what I’ve seen but I know he deletes most of it. I don’t know but I don’t think he is interacting with them.
Not 100% certain as he obviously clears most of the searches anyway.
AIBU to find this a bit upsetting and icky? I’ve told him that it makes me feel upset that he seems to search so much for other women but he keeps doing it. I find it a real turn off. He’ll often say it’s because we aren’t having sex as much but it makes me not want to even more.

I’d be completely grossed out by a grown man having tik tok in the first place.

This made me laugh thank you @DaisyChain505

Even if hes not searching for them, the algorithm on tiktok and instagram will constantly serve up onlyfans women, gym women working out, etc

Really? You know Tiktok only shows you things you are interested in. It's full of decent content - workouts, recipe ideas and animals is what mine is full of, and my husbands is mostly construction videos and comedy clips. What's gross about adults using a video content site?

@tfresh it’s all in his search, and he admits it when asked

I can understand why you don't like it and why you find it a turn-off.

But I think my first question would be how you know he's doing this. Is he doing it in front of you? Or on a computer that you share? Or are you checking his devices to see what he's been browsing?

If he's doing it in front of you or on a shared laptop and making no effort to keep it private, that's disrespectful. He doesn't have to make it obvious to you when he knows it bothers you, and YANBU to be upset.

But if he's doing this in private and if you only know about it because you're looking at his browsing history, then I think that YABU. I don't think you can really expect to control what your partner looks at on his own phone in private and you would be better off not knowing about it. If my partner told me I couldn't look at anything sexy on my phone in private, because he'd been checking my browsing history and he didn't like it, I would probably tell him to get lost because honestly, it's none of his business. So I do think it makes a difference depending on how you know about this.

I would also add that Instagram and TikTok are the absolute mildest outlets for this kind of thing. They're not even allowed to show a nipple.

@KreedKafer totally get your point.
I have kind of accepted that he will watch actual porn from time to time as apparently all men do? It’s more the looking up of girls online etc it just doesn’t sit right with me. Like he’s looking up specific girls to go through their pics? I just find it weird. And it happens quite a lot. Plus I think he might not like it the other way round..