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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Carers Allowance should be increased

303 replies

Noras · 03/05/2024 08:11

Recent events on Mumsnet has made me even more upset about continuing to be a carer for my adult son. There are many carers out there doing the job voluntarily. Their kids are adult and there is no duty of care owned by adults. Moreover there is no asset against which the state can claim against for social care. The decision to care for our off spring is a fervent belief this is best for the time being.

Whilst my son lives at home I get £81 carers allowance a week. If my son lived in supported living I would

Be able to charge £15 per hour carers rate (including holiday and pension).

Be free to choose my hours and never have to worry about cover to go out - that is the States duty of care

Can opt never to have to complete a pip form or universal credit form again - leave it to another carer!

So the push is for me to want my son either on social housing or supported living

Caring duties include

Sourcing and recruiting PA / interview / draft advert and check applicants etc

Send out contracts to PA’s

Chase and send in timesheets

Train PA on how to deal with DS

Draft comments and arrange attendance at EHCP reviews. Chase updated EHCP and check it for amendments and liaise with council etc

Apply for transport for college - if needs be advocate. Liaise college and transport and taxi driver for changes of which there are many
Weekly exchanges of chase up and changes

apply for Pip - complete lengthy form. Be available for interview and conduct interview - DS clearly can’t

Universal credit - apply - argue legal points if necessary - administer funds - set up bank account for DS and administer it via a monintjon or poa

Care

Take for hairdressing appointments
Cut finger and toe nails
Hold tissue and encourage to blow nose as required
prompt shaving and if needs be husband shaves him
grapple with him and insist clothes are changed
laundry
take to dentist and keep eye on teeth cleaning
laundry
clear blocked toilet
prompt meds when constipated or asthmatic and hands on care with cold as he can’t blow nose

Supervision

Stop overeating and monitor diet
Stop crazy eating eg microwaved salad or eating microwaved tuna and sweetcorn at midnight
check his desire to experiment in kitchen
discuss and practice food cookery and what he will do at residential
Ensure healthy diet because that would not otherwise occur
Stop him cutting bread rolls whilst in hand
shopping/ clothing

do all clothes shopping
check wardrobe periodically to ensure shoes js clothes all fit still - he cannot seem to vocalise that need well

Toileting

Be on hand to unblock toilet and clean mess

Activities

Organise all his activities to encourage socialisation eg disabled group or drama group - this includes research for holiday activities

Get debrief form Pa re activity

Liaise with social groups eg one council one needs to know if taxi required weekly etc

Receive feedback form groups re how he is doing/ accessing community

Help with social disabled group so organise an event or two ( to make these things happen)

Take to the gym to swimming to maintain health - this involves micromanagement in say swimming pool

Take out on bus to train and persevere with this
Make him experience busy bus times

Train how to do shopping and wait for change

math skills - ongoing - mental maths an issue due to lack of working memory on 2 and 4 percentile - yet he can do algebra and has a gcse!

Try to train to use Apple Watch as he won’t wear a tracker ( we bought it for him with our own money!)

training - social interaction eg on dog walk or in shops etc

Also keep up to date on all learning activity opportunities and be excellent welfare / eduction lawyers advocates

Finally be there every evening and night due to his anxieties and vulnerabilities unless relieved by PA or activities so I CAN HAVE A GLASS OF WINE

Pay rate £81 per week

as opposed to several hundred for fewer hours work and shared load in supported living / social housing

OP posts:
Thread gallery
5
llamafarm · 03/05/2024 12:57

Because it’s not economically productive. It’s domestic labour

Residential care for adult DC with severe disabilities costs £6000 per week.
Carers save the country and you, the taxpayer, billions of pounds a year. They're actually contributing more than you are.

ActualCannibalShiaLeBeouf · 03/05/2024 12:57

Starlightstarbright3 · 03/05/2024 08:32

Do I believe carers allowance bus too low yes .. however your rant does no favours . This is your child so we will always be involved to greater or lesser extents.

some of the things you write concern me . Grappling to change clothes . Ensure his shoes fit well . My Ds is on higher rate care on pip however he is over 6ft . If he won’t change clothes I need to find a better way . Assuming your Ds is an adult his feet will have stopped growing .

I know been a carer is exhausting but sometimes you are not helping yourself . Carers are on nmw - why would a mum be paid more?

So, I care for my son 18 hours a day 7 days a week. That's 126 hours. That works out at 64p an hour. How on earth is that more than a paid carer on minimum wage??

EyeOfTheCat · 03/05/2024 12:59

DickJagger · 03/05/2024 12:56

and if I refuse to do anymore "domestic labour" then the state will have to sort it and that will cost FAR more than a pathetic £81 a week.

They won’t do it to the same standard. This line keeps being trotted out like it will be like for like care. History has taught us that isn’t the case.

llamafarm · 03/05/2024 13:00

HoppingPavlova · 03/05/2024 12:44

I’ll go against the grain here. Also the parent of an adult child with ASD/ADHD/OCD/GAD who still needs our support and another adult child with physical disabilities who requires our support, and with other ‘normal’ (whatever that is) adult kids.

My late mum always drilled into me that you don’t have kids unless you can support them in the worst case scenario. She used to use no arms, no legs, blind and deaf as a scenario when talking to me about having kids. That you don’t have a child unless you are able and prepared to deal with that as the scenario. She meant being able to cope physically, emotionally and financially without assistance as you can’t rely on it. Anything above that would be ‘a bonus’. I think that’s really sage advice and where it goes astray a lot of the time as people just think having kids will produce a ‘typical’ child and if not they are at the mercy and relying on support that may or may not be there - again physically, emotionally and financially.

Edited to add this is exactly the same advice I pass on to my own children.

Edited

This sounds like the sage advice of someone who doesn't understand what would happen to society if the birth rate dropped like a stone.

Welovecrumpets · 03/05/2024 13:06

Cygnetmad · 03/05/2024 12:52

But it isn’t work in the traditional sense. I’m sorry to sound brutal but it isn’t and there is no way we can afford to pay 1.5 million people £25,000 a year. We have 1 in 6 out of work completely, worrying National debt, a huge amount of people with ‘needs’ and the problem is getting worse.

caring 24/7 is work. and a bloody hard one on top. of course we can afford to pay carers properly. It's a choice by the government and the wider society to treat carers like the lowest of the lowest.

Ok so which budget do you want to reduce to do it?

llamafarm · 03/05/2024 13:09

"They might commit suicide"

They absolutely might. It's a very tempting option.

FiveFoxes · 03/05/2024 13:10

Action for Carers have a link to the current Government Petition for CA to be reviewed.

I'd link her if I was allowed

DickJagger · 03/05/2024 13:13

FiveFoxes · 03/05/2024 13:10

Action for Carers have a link to the current Government Petition for CA to be reviewed.

I'd link her if I was allowed

Thank you - I have just found it online and signed.

Cygnetmad · 03/05/2024 13:22

Welovecrumpets · 03/05/2024 13:06

Ok so which budget do you want to reduce to do it?

How do you know there is no money for that? you just trot out the old chestnut of no money. Can you bring some actual figures about spending and what is coming in? of course not?

I also hazard a guess that you didn't have to give up paid employment to care for someone 24/7 and that you are now on the breadline.

Boopydoo · 03/05/2024 13:22

Noras · 03/05/2024 09:17

Personally it would suit me fine to have a low tax economy and a small state. But I don’t vote for that.

I think it would make society even more unbearable.

I am just amazed that carers allowance is so low and I’m incentivised to put my adult son into social housing or supported living. That will cost the State far more. it seems crazy.

As it happens as part of his development it will be best for him to go into independent living at some point shortly to continue life skills. It’s choosing when would be best to ensure his mental and physical well being. At that point I can choose to claim an hourly rate - it’s all quite perverse really - less care / more money. Also I don’t have the limit on earning.

Sp I’m not arguing this point for myself but others in my wake so to speak. Nothing will happen by the time my DS is living independently with support.

Im happy to put myself on the parapet today to be abused whilst showing what a crazy system it is for all the other carers out there. For adult children carers there is a clear push out of the family home at 18.

I don't understand your last sentence, 'for adult children there is a clear push out of the family home at 18' ?

Who is pushing?

HugeCwtch · 03/05/2024 13:24

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

Where was that?

Because if the OP has a father who has inherited oer £4m (potentially) then surely she should be able to scrape by with some help.

HOWEVER this is not an OP problem, this is an everyone problem, why do we deem £81 enough to pay a carer in the home? Thats rediculous, you couldnt even get someone in for a day on that rate - its insulting to the carers.

Yes I know there will be those fecklessly claiming, but the numbers of those are really very low

Welovecrumpets · 03/05/2024 13:26

Cygnetmad · 03/05/2024 13:22

How do you know there is no money for that? you just trot out the old chestnut of no money. Can you bring some actual figures about spending and what is coming in? of course not?

I also hazard a guess that you didn't have to give up paid employment to care for someone 24/7 and that you are now on the breadline.

Of course I can.

We have the highest national debt since the 1960s and has trebled in 20 years. We have major productivity issues. 1 in 6 working age people does not work. Our liabilities exceed our GDP by 30%. Even Labour have admitted we are skint and have sacked off their most expensive new policies as unaffordable.

This is a good read (the Guardian)
https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/aug/13/uk-stop-kidding-ourselves-rich-nation-gone-bust

Let’s stop kidding ourselves we’re a rich nation and get real… the UK’s gone bust | Economic policy | The Guardian

Britain depends on the kindness of strangers to get by in the world. It doesn’t have to be like this

https://amp.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2023/aug/13/uk-stop-kidding-ourselves-rich-nation-gone-bust

Cygnetmad · 03/05/2024 13:30

that still no excuse not to pay carers. We have money for all sorts of stuff. Your arguments are poor. You could as well say, well, we have a high level of debt, let's not provide medical care or cut other essential services... it is such a stupendous non argument... it's always one made by the stupid when they run out of good ones

Welovecrumpets · 03/05/2024 13:32

Cygnetmad · 03/05/2024 13:30

that still no excuse not to pay carers. We have money for all sorts of stuff. Your arguments are poor. You could as well say, well, we have a high level of debt, let's not provide medical care or cut other essential services... it is such a stupendous non argument... it's always one made by the stupid when they run out of good ones

‘We have no money but that’s not an excuse not to pay’ - that’s a poor argument if ever I heard one!

Willyoujustbequiet · 03/05/2024 13:33

Welovecrumpets · 03/05/2024 12:49

But it isn’t work in the traditional sense. I’m sorry to sound brutal but it isn’t and there is no way we can afford to pay 1.5 million people £25,000 a year. We have 1 in 6 out of work completely, worrying National debt, a huge amount of people with ‘needs’ and the problem is getting worse.

Carer’s allowance isn’t the only thing they subsist on either. In many cases there is universal credit, DLA, cost of living alongside free NHS care. Look at the thread by a lady with 2 disabled children on here who was receiving 63k a year.

I didn't mention £25k a year, I just said a raise.

Again you're concentrating on children when the majority of carers look after adults. DLA is child only. Many don't get UC and everyone uses the NHS so I don't see how you can include that.

For many is £82 per week for a 24/7 job. Would you?

It's unjustifiable and you know it.

Welovecrumpets · 03/05/2024 13:36

Willyoujustbequiet · 03/05/2024 13:33

I didn't mention £25k a year, I just said a raise.

Again you're concentrating on children when the majority of carers look after adults. DLA is child only. Many don't get UC and everyone uses the NHS so I don't see how you can include that.

For many is £82 per week for a 24/7 job. Would you?

It's unjustifiable and you know it.

If it’s 24/7 then they’re unemployed and as such on universal credit with the carer element as well aren’t they?

TheHateIsNotGood · 03/05/2024 13:37

Petition signed - currently at just over 4,000 signatures. Will need a lot more signatures to make a dent.

TheHateIsNotGood · 03/05/2024 13:41

@Welovecrumpets - if on UC, the Carer's element is either less than Carer's Allowance or Carer's Allowance is taken off £ for £ and to really put the boot in is called "unearned income".

Welovecrumpets · 03/05/2024 13:43

TheHateIsNotGood · 03/05/2024 13:41

@Welovecrumpets - if on UC, the Carer's element is either less than Carer's Allowance or Carer's Allowance is taken off £ for £ and to really put the boot in is called "unearned income".

That isn’t acceptable at all.

Willyoujustbequiet · 03/05/2024 13:43

Welovecrumpets · 03/05/2024 13:36

If it’s 24/7 then they’re unemployed and as such on universal credit with the carer element as well aren’t they?

No not everyone can claim UC. If you have a partner that works or whatever..savings etc.. Many aren't eligible.

Even if you can they deduct your Carers Allowance from UC pound for pound.

Its a disgrace.

EyeOfTheCat · 03/05/2024 13:44

Willyoujustbequiet · 03/05/2024 13:33

I didn't mention £25k a year, I just said a raise.

Again you're concentrating on children when the majority of carers look after adults. DLA is child only. Many don't get UC and everyone uses the NHS so I don't see how you can include that.

For many is £82 per week for a 24/7 job. Would you?

It's unjustifiable and you know it.

From an economics POV though it isn’t, is it?

Carers will continue regardless. Those speaking about downing tools and handing the care of their loved ones over to the authorities aren’t motivated by money. For those carers that do stop caring it’s not because of carers allowance being low - if that were the case they never would have started. So any suggestion to pay them more is just a moral one. It’s going to come at a cost not a saving.

Also we’re speaking about CA like it’s claimed in isolation, whereas those households that need extra support will be receiving it by other benefits so it’s misleading to speak about CA in isolation. Some of those benefits like PIP won’t be means tested so it’s not that carers are surviving off the £81 alone.

I’m not anti carers but emotions don’t write policy.

Willyoujustbequiet · 03/05/2024 13:49

EyeOfTheCat · 03/05/2024 13:44

From an economics POV though it isn’t, is it?

Carers will continue regardless. Those speaking about downing tools and handing the care of their loved ones over to the authorities aren’t motivated by money. For those carers that do stop caring it’s not because of carers allowance being low - if that were the case they never would have started. So any suggestion to pay them more is just a moral one. It’s going to come at a cost not a saving.

Also we’re speaking about CA like it’s claimed in isolation, whereas those households that need extra support will be receiving it by other benefits so it’s misleading to speak about CA in isolation. Some of those benefits like PIP won’t be means tested so it’s not that carers are surviving off the £81 alone.

I’m not anti carers but emotions don’t write policy.

No often it is in isolation.

I'm a carer and don't get anything else. Why are you presuming carers are getting PIP?

IncompleteSenten · 03/05/2024 13:49

Where to get money from?
Ooh, the money that has been magicked up to send people to Rwanda.
Hs2
Legal loopholes that allow companies and the mega rich to not pay their fair percentage share
The "crony contracts" eg the ppe shitstorm
huge amounts of wastage in the NHS and other services
That stupid happiness survey a few years back

I read a report in the telegraph that detailed 14 billion pounds worth of wastage on stupid shit in one year. 2021/22 I believe it was.

It's not that there's no money.
It's that the money there is is being spunked up stupid walls left right and centre.

EyeOfTheCat · 03/05/2024 13:50

Willyoujustbequiet · 03/05/2024 13:49

No often it is in isolation.

I'm a carer and don't get anything else. Why are you presuming carers are getting PIP?

I said the household.

Cygnetmad · 03/05/2024 13:54

Willyoujustbequiet · 03/05/2024 13:43

No not everyone can claim UC. If you have a partner that works or whatever..savings etc.. Many aren't eligible.

Even if you can they deduct your Carers Allowance from UC pound for pound.

Its a disgrace.

also, even if you earn just as much a cent over the earnings limit of £151 you cannot claim carers allowance at all even though you may to 50-60 hours of caring on top of your low paid part time role.

We cannot work full time as we do not have anyone to care for our relative and cannot earn a full wage that way. Some of us manage a few part time hours and as the earning limit is so low, it means we are banned from claiming CA and if we cannot work as social care is completely absent for most, we are paid peanuts. You can twist and turn it as you want, we cannot win!