To be anxious about new neighbours?

[CinderRosie]

I’ve just seen that my next door neighbours house has gone up for sale. We’ve lived here for 18 months, they’re a family of four with two primary aged children and we’re semi-detached to them. They aren’t the quietest of neighbours but I think this is mainly due to the party wall being so bloody thin. We can hear the kids running about, playing/shouting, usual household noise. But they keep regular routine and don’t have a dog nor play music. I’m so anxious about getting dog owners or music lovers because of the stupid thin walls.
the reason I’m so anxious is because I’ve had a horrible history with poor neighbours in the past including barking dogs and loud music back in my flat days.
cannot wait to hopefully move into detached at some point but this will likely be some years away.

I understand. You will just have to wait and see what happens. It will probably be ok and you will get quiet neighbours.

If not then think about putting in a sound proofing wall in your joining wall. Our neighbours did that as their neighbours are noisy. I don't think it is too costly.

Can you perhaps work on what is in your control, like soundproofing or doing something to the adjoining walls from within your property? That might help dispel some of the worry around who's moving in, if you know you've got some protection from your side.

Try not to worry in advance. Yes, they might have a dog, but chances are it won't bark much. They might be music lovers but only play music during 'normal' hours and not too loudly.

You are catastrophising in advance over something beyond your control, and that's not good for your mental health. You might, after all, get a lovely pair of retired gardeners who are totally silent!

I’ve had the same worry recently.

Ended up with a very quiet pair next door apart from him thumping up and down the stairs which is tedious but bearable.

In the early days you might get drilling/banging/DIY noises but talk to them about acceptable hours to cease those activities if they go into late evenings.

Meanwhile, don’t worry until it happens.

Are you on a.new build, OP?

YANBU. I will tell you what NOT to do, and then tell you what you can do.

This happened with us - everything we were dreading happened. Barking dogs, music, blocking the driveway, etc. I totally lost my temper, involved the council, the police, yelled over the fence that I was going to poison the dogs, and did this multiple times until something was done about it, and eventually confronted the main fucker by going ballistic in his face, toe-to-toe with him (I am not recommending you do this, and I am a pretty muscular woman who lifts weights for fun so I could have handled myself if things got nasty - it was a stupid thing to do). I essentially frightened him into backing the fuck down, parking somewhere more considerate and shutting up his pointless little dogs. This is not the way to handle it.

What I recommend you do - be friendly and welcoming with the neighbours, until they feel that they can't possibly be noisy and impact the life of such a nice person. You then have a gentle avenue to opening up dialogue if you hear unnecessary noise.

Of course, sometimes bad neighbours are just bad neighbours and will be selfish fuckers anyway - I tried the nice approach and they threw it back in my face, but 9/10 people are not total troglodytes like my knuckle-dragging neighbours, and will be receptive.

Shit neighbours will happen if you worry about them or not. Familiarise yourself with your rights - your council's noise pages, for example, and how you would go about recording excessive noise - do they require you to fill out a diary for two weeks? Is there a hotline you can call? Focus on what you can control rather than the bits you can't.

I really hope you get some good neighbours.

I feel this so much, OP! The house next door to me has just been sold and I'm stressing out about who my new neighbours might be and whether they'll be noisy, playing loud music, having people coming round at all hours, banging doors, shouting, etc. Like you, I've also had bad experiences with noisy neighbours in the past, and it was such a horror. I think the advice to get sound proofing if you can is a really good one, and otherwise, I'm hoping that we'll both be lucky and get some lovely quiet neighbours!!!

Hi OP
Try not to worry as chances are they will be fine
I recently had new neighbours and didn't stress about it as thought will just see how things are.
Luckily for me a lovely Polish girl with her young son moved in and no problems whatsoever
Hopefully your new neighbours will be absolutely fine.

Our semi detached neighbour used to LOVE our dog. He wasn't huge but had a VERY deep bark, so when someone knocked on ours or their door, our dog would bark loudly and it would certainly make people stand back as it was difficult to tell which house the dog was in!

New neighbours just means you'll have to adapt to new noises.

I really feel for you as I've had bad neighbours in the past it really can affect you even years later.

The anxiety of what new neighbours are going to be like can really work you up without even knowing they might be really nice and respectful.

I'm still working on my own anxiety even tho I'm in a detached and I still have triggers but you have to try and find a way to relax yourself as you will make yourself ill. Find ways to distract yourself and check out Tim box (mind coach)on YouTube I was recommended on here and he really does make alot of sense

You could look at putting some soundproofing on that side of the house you can even do it yourselves to make it cheaper (have a look on YouTube).

I hope your new ones are better than your current ones and you find some peace 🤞

Wait and see, my new neighbours are super quiet but a bit odd, super ocd cleaning all the time, kitchen is never used, both mums pop in daily to clean an already clean kitchen plus a cleaner and they put their baby's soiled nappies and litter tray contents in bin next door, rarely use their own black bin, as that has been sold and is empty.

Fingers crossed for you. Ours are not great.. loud children in the garden before 8am, weed smoking wafting over. Regular gatherings even in the rain in the garden drinking smoking and having fires.

Im getting ready to move some stinky stuff near the fence in the hopes of moving them away from the joining fence 😂 so glad our houses are not joint

Today is the day… the old neighbours are moving out right now 😬

How’s it going, OP?

So far it’s not too bad thanks @Terea , touching all the wood going forward!

Totally understand OP- I know it’s hard but try not to worry until they move in - you never know you may get really quiet new neighbours 🤞

We are friends with the couple we bought our house off of in August and they told us the neighbour was super worried about who would be moving in and they'd reassured her we weren't arseholes and we're super quiet.
No idea what she was so worried about as she's a noisy bastard!! Sounds as if she spends her days chucking her furniture down her stairs.
Maybe your new neighbours will think you're the noisy one 😂

Yes

Balanced view? Or wrong thread?

Unfortunately we had noisier neighbours than previous lot. It's shit. Council doing nothing as its a "lifestyle clash".

So OP it’s a few months later - what are the new neighbours like?