Dd is VERY outgoing and sociable…I’m just not

[Justshushplease]

I’m a bit of a homebody, like going out, but mainly just as a family, I am absolutely fine seeing friends once a month or so and don’t really need extra, even though they’re lovely people,
Our Dd is just so fun, confident and outgoing, she plays with friends at school, neighbour friends sometimes after school and some weekends and goes to the usual parties and meet ups with my friends kids. I have always made a concerted effort to push myself and have taken her to mums meet ups since I
she was little and attended events for her sake and arranged play dates. It’s just so much though, every weekend with neighbour kids round is fine and I enjoy it, but I’m not always up for having to have their parents at the house popping over to pick their child up/drop Dd back, if I just want to lounge around in pjs. Dd is constantly inviting friends for play dates from school, in front of their mums or even random new friends she’s made at the park.
I know I sound really miserable, I admire her outgoing nature, but I’m tired! I love my own space and only really want to socialise with my friends and when I want to.
Does anyone have a very outgoing child, if you’re not? Where do they come from 😂

Unfortunately, it goes with the territory of having children.

Keep making the effort of dropping her places and having her picked up, but put in place boundaries around playdates and sleepovers.

Tell her that she must ask you in advance EVERY TIME.

And tell her that if she asks you in front of other kids or their parents, the answer will ALWAYS BE NO. She must you ask alone.

I am outgoing and so are my DDs .. but DH is not and he finds the socialising all a bit much. He doesn't do his fair share because he finds it so draining, whereas I don't mind and quite enjoy chatting to parents etc. Having said that, kids do change. My DD12 used to be very sociable and had to be kept busy but is much more a homebody now and not so interested in seeing friends a lot.

I think it's great you're doing your best for your DD even when it's hard for you. I know parents who just refuse because they don't want to host playdates.

It's also OK to draw the line and have limits - you don't have to say yes every time. I have 2 DDs and it's always a balance of what we can manage around them and work.

I was a bit like that I sometimes enjoyed it with parents who became good friends but only really on my terms. We have a street of children that play tennis now and always see one Mum negotiating with her child to come in, she never wants to and then it kicks off, my two are teenagers and ironically find the whining annoying but I do point how they used to be similar. I feel for this Mum as the other parents are extremely liberal and don’t ask them to come in at the same time.

I can relate. My daughter has certainly encouraged me to be more outgoing but sometimes the constant chat can be draining. I think it's ok to find a middle way where you say you will arrange a playdate soon but not today at times and perhaps have a day for family time.