To ask if this would surprise you ?

[AquaBee]

Colleague who normally works at another site came over to help. She is well regarded and liked as well as competent and educated.
Firstly though she couldn’t open a padlocked gate. She had opened it and put in the right code but then hadn’t pulled the bar out so of course the gate didn’t open.
Couldn’t turn on a dishwasher. (this one maybe common as was a similar thread on here once about a colleague not being able to do the same )
When I asked her to go and collect something in the other room, obviously placed, she could not find it .

Aibu to be a bit concerned/surprised she is struggling with these things ?

Every year DP and I rent a holiday cottage somewhere in the UK for two weeks in the summer - I usually spend a good hour trying to work out the boiler, microwave and oven because they are completely different to my own and what I am used to.

And that's when we have got into the property - often working out how to open the door and which key is for what is a challenge in itself too!

So no, I wouldn't be surprised. You are being harsh.

I hate this kind of false ‘concern’. You’re not concerned about her. You’re just looking for a way to criticise her!

Is she 'struggling' with these things, or was she unfamiliar with these things and will now be OK because she's been shown.

Do you immediatly know how to work every lock and appliance you come into contact with?

I wouldn't easily be able open a strange padlocked gate. Especially if I was being observed by my new colleagues! I know how to operate my own dishwasher, not another random brand. And wouldn't want to break it/press wrong button so would ask someone. Do you not have an office manager who could show her/train her on the office equipment? As for finding something, maybe she didn't know what it looks like? As long as she can do her job I don't see the issue.

You need to be more concerned that you feel this way. Everyone knows something, & we can all learn from someone. Open your mind.

Lol. You aren't concerned at all. You just want to bitch about her.

Be honest.

If you judge a fish on it's ability to climb a tree it will spend its whole life believing it's stupid.

We all have different skills (and skill gaps).

You sound very critical to have noted these incidents; they wouldn't even register with most people!

Hello Everybody,

One might presume that this colleague has someone to do theses trivial tasks for her? I know I do.

In any case that the dishwasher business clearly belongs in the domain of the Scullery Maid.

Yes I agree. There are some locks I struggle with. They might look locked even when you've unlocked them. I know how to operate my dishwasher but have been to holiday houses where I haven't a clue how to turn it in!

I think that your Theory of Mind may be broken. It can be tested with the Sally-Anne test:

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sally%E2%80%93Anne_test

In the test process ...... 'Sally' takes a marble and hides it in her basket. She then "leaves" the room and goes for a walk. While she is away, 'Anne' takes the marble out of Sally's basket and puts it in her own box. Sally is then reintroduced and the test subject is asked the key question, the Belief Question: "Where will Sally look for her marble?"

Presumably OP would answer "in the basket", because she is unable to conceive of another person having a mind whose state of knowledge is independent of her own.

Could be dyspraxic. Could be lots of things.

I have ADHD and sail through written tasks for eg, but would probably be like the person you describe.

I regularly open the fridge to grab milk, see an unopened one, check and re check to ensure there isn't an already opened one, don't see it, open the new one, then spot the opened one after.

My brain just malfunctions, especially in a new setting. I can't see clearly until I've already made the mistake 😂

Some people pander to their own insecurity by adopting a belief that people of high intelligence lack something called 'common sense'. But this is not actually true. Its stupid people who lack common sense.

I'd ask if I'd any doubts at all about using dishwasher etc belonging to someone else, why wouldn't you? Not seeing something, think we've all been there, also may not have wanted to actually search someone else's room.

Think you're surprise is the most amazing unusual thing about what you describe tbh. Otoh, maybe she feels your disdain and is therefore being even more careful to check things as she's aware you are watching her critically.

OP, you are being really weird about this. ‘Surprised’? ‘Concerned’? Because someone didn’t know how your gate worked? You need to get out more.

I, like your colleague, am also ‘well-regarded and liked, competent and educated’. I probably wouldn’t immediately know how to work some random dishwasher I’d never used before, though. I’m dyspraxic, which means I’m generally bad at that kind of thing anyway, but much more importantly: it’s also trivial shit that I’m not interested in.

Different people, different brains. Your competent and educated colleague is not inferior or ‘concerning’ just because mundane mechanical tasks aren’t her area.

I’d hate to work with you. It’s already mildly embarrassing being someone who invariably pulls a door that says ‘push’ and figure out how the office chairs adjust; I don’t people like you scrutinising me and then sneering on Mumsnet under the guise of ‘concern’.

Is this a regular thing or is this the first time you’ve met her? I would give benefit of the doubt and assume it’s because it’s an unfamiliar environment, she hadn’t had much sleep for some reason, was stressed about something, or just having a bad day. I assume she’s good at her job at the other site?

Isn't she lucky that you were there to show her the site, how things work and make her feel so welcome and at home. OH?!

I have worked with people in the past who seemed to be under the impression that if they knew something, then everyone must know it, and if they didn't they were somehow lacking. I remember working in a cinema and another usherette being absolutely incredulous at the stupidity of a customer who didn't know where the toilet was, for example. This feels a bit like that.

I assure you that I am very competent at my actual job, but I can't use the coffee machine there despite being shown twice, and sometimes I can't open the padlocked door which has a certain knack to it. On the first day of my first job I faxed someone three blank sheets of paper because nobody had shown me which way up they went into the fax machine. I don't own a dishwasher, or a microwave, so I wouldn't be sure how to use one.

I have worked with people in the past who seemed to be under the impression that if they knew something, then everyone must know it.

This is a well known sign of ASD.

Also a well known sign of common or garden aresholes.

So what? People can assume all they like, but it doesn’t mean it’s OK for them to get sneery when people don’t know things.

I have an online friend who has ASD and he invariably assumes people will a) like the same things as he does and b) know exactly what he’s on about when he mentions them. For example, he once sent me an incomprehensible message in relation to something in the news. I said “Mate, you’re going to have to help me out here: I’ve not no idea what any of this means” and it transpired he was making a parallel between a current news event and a storyline in Doctor Who from the 1970s. I have never even seen Doctor Who, still less expressed an interest in it, but it didn’t occur to him that this would be the case. But the difference is that when I pointed this out, he didn’t find it surprising, weird or ‘concerning’ that I didn’t know the thing he’d assumed I did.

Fair point: it sounds as if your friend would not have started this thread. So maybe OP has not had a Theory of Mind fail. Perhaps she feels intimidated by her more successful colleague, and this is her way of consoling herself.

This!

OP, you are out of order.

I mean, I often forget how to use the padlock on our outbuildings and struggle to use our dishwasher (it's shite!) and I can assure you that I am well and perfectly okay. I just don't either often enough to remember the process.