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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To ask if you’ve had a visitation dream?

73 replies

Unicornfairysoap · 30/04/2024 22:04

what was it? Who were they to you? What was the message? Do you think it was really them?

(a visitation dream is when someone who has passed comes to us in a dream, different from a normal dream, the person normally acknowledges they’re deceased and then you wake up feeling like you knew you saw them)

friendly reminder that for some bereaved people this is all we have left, it’s ok if you don’t believe in it, just let us have this one)

OP posts:
Projectme · 30/04/2024 22:11

My aunt died suddenly in 1997. I had her visit me in a dream not long after her passing; I was at a party somewhere (didn't recognise the house/garden) but as I walked through the house and through the double doors into the garden, she was stood with her back to me talking to other people. I immediately recognised her and so I called her name, in shock...she turned around, put her arms out to me, smiled and said (it was her voice too) "they got it wrong; they got it all wrong..." I woke up at that point and have no idea what she meant.

Wren77 · 30/04/2024 22:13

I'd like to think I did, but even if it was just my brain making something up I think it's pretty lovely that it made something that I know my mum would have so wished to say to me if she could.
It happened on the only occasion in my life that can ever remember that I've switched off the alarm in the morning and gone back to sleep. Usually I'm up and going before the alarm. Anyhow I found myself standing on a hillside and my mum (who had died a few months earlier) was there. She walked towards me and wrapped me up in a massive hug and said 'I still love you Wren and I'm so proud of everything you've turned out to be' (I had recently got a degree as a mum and very mature student!) Her voice was so loud, like she was leaning over and yelling in my ear, so much so I woke up!

Huldrafolk · 30/04/2024 22:14

I had an astonishingly vivid dream in which my dead grandfather walked up to me on the footpath outside our house, and when I said ‘But you’re dead!’ he smiled and said ‘It was an admin error.’

But it was just a wish-fulfilment dream, though an extraordinarily vivid one. Not a supernatural visitation.

Speedygonzales78 · 30/04/2024 22:14

The night my friend of 20 years died I dreamt he looked at me from a distance, nodded and turned and walked away.

nightcapers · 30/04/2024 22:15

I have had several of these types of dreams of my late husband who passed in 2015. I become aware I am dreaming then go to look for him. I find him and am overwhelmed with joy. We hug and cling together then he disappears. I'm not sure if this is a visitation dream exactly. Sometimes I awake happy,sometimes sad. They always shake me up a bit though.

MysticCT · 30/04/2024 22:18

I've had this happen before, the people in my dream have told me not to worry and that they are ok.
I have had quite a few about my Mum and I actually woke myself up crying during one.

Yourinmyspot · 30/04/2024 22:20

Yes after my Granny and Grandpa had both died, I had a dream where I was looking out of the landing window at their house and they were both stood near the little wall in their driveway smiling and waving at me. Both looking much younger than I ever remembered them. It was lovely, like they were saying they were together again, happy and unencumbered by their physical ailments.

I remember when my Granny died, I was on my way home on the bus and suddenly thought my Granny is really poorly. Got in the car and my Dad told me she was and she died two days later.

Arrestedforit · 30/04/2024 22:20

I dream about my husband frequently, and sometimes I’m annoyed with him for pretending to be dead and playing a bad joke on us all, and other times the dreams are lovely, and we are hanging out together ( last night we were on a cruise) When I wake I feel really unsettled, and it just reminds me of what I’ve lost. 😔

foghead · 30/04/2024 22:23

Yourinmyspot · 30/04/2024 22:20

Yes after my Granny and Grandpa had both died, I had a dream where I was looking out of the landing window at their house and they were both stood near the little wall in their driveway smiling and waving at me. Both looking much younger than I ever remembered them. It was lovely, like they were saying they were together again, happy and unencumbered by their physical ailments.

I remember when my Granny died, I was on my way home on the bus and suddenly thought my Granny is really poorly. Got in the car and my Dad told me she was and she died two days later.

It's strange as those who believe in visitation dreams say that those who visit are always in their prime years so elderly people will look younger. I'm not sure about young people.

DrCoconut · 30/04/2024 22:23

My dad died when i was very young. Years later i had a dream where i was out walking and came across a large building. Inside it was a bit like a travelodge or hall of residence and painted all in blue. I discovered my dad living there and all he said when he saw me was "it's been a long time", then the dream ended.

quietlifeneeded · 30/04/2024 22:25

im fairly sure it was a dream, but.. my mum passed when i was 16, and i used to dream, especially when i was low, that she had sat at the foot of my bed at night!

Tootytoot78 · 30/04/2024 22:25

It takes a while until a headstone can be installed on a grave as the ground has to settle.
In my dream my Dad came to me and insisted I go and see his 'fantastic' headstone, I told him that I had been working all week I was tired and I would go and see it when it was ready.

My Mum rang me the next day to tell me Dad's headstone had been installed.............

Mmmkaay · 30/04/2024 22:27

I'm not sure if it's just wishful thinking but after my baby son was born I dreamt I met my Gran on a beach in New Zealand (not sure why there, she said I should visit) and said to her I wished she could meet him. And she replied - but I already have!

Unicornfairysoap · 30/04/2024 22:28

I had one with my Nan, i was in a bit of a bad mood when I last visited her at the hospital, I think it was denial and self protection, so when she died before i could visit again, i felt the lowest of the low.

that night I had a dream and we were in a bright white room and she was wearing white and I remember saying ‘ this isn’t real, you died’ and apologising she said it was ok and she was ok. I woke up just knowing in my bones it was her, and feeling more at peace.

I’ve dreamt of her since but never like that. I do wonder if it was just my subconscious or something supernatural but I’m going to chose to believe it was her.

after I lost my dad, my husband had one of him. It was a Christmas dream, where we used to gather around the telly at the end of the day, he said he sat down with my dad and said, but you’re dead, and he just shrugged it off and said I like it here, and made him promise to take care of me, and that I’d find it harder than anyone. He was wearing in the dream the last outfit that he ever wore, a weird little detail that dh would’ve never known. I desperately wanted him to visit me after, but I’ve never quite had that dream. Maybe after you go, you only get one?

OP posts:
HellonHeels · 30/04/2024 22:28

I've had only one dream of my husband since he died but he didn't speak to me directly. He was pottering about and chatting generally (much as he did in life) and I knew he was happy.

It was comforting but also unsettling.

nightcapers · 30/04/2024 22:29

@Arrestedforit I totally get you 💐

vampire13 · 30/04/2024 22:30

I'd like to think I did, my stepfather died in a awful awful mining incident when I was 15 (I'm 27 now)

I had a dream a few years ago and I was in Tenby with my family (where we used to go) and I could spot the back of him through the crowd of people, I shouted his name and he turned and smiled and I ran up to him and gave him a massive hug and he asked me how everyone was and that was it or all I can remember. But I'll never forget that dream and how he looked and sounded.

Unicornfairysoap · 30/04/2024 22:30

Arrestedforit · 30/04/2024 22:20

I dream about my husband frequently, and sometimes I’m annoyed with him for pretending to be dead and playing a bad joke on us all, and other times the dreams are lovely, and we are hanging out together ( last night we were on a cruise) When I wake I feel really unsettled, and it just reminds me of what I’ve lost. 😔

Oh sweet heart I’m so very sorry xx

OP posts:
PadstowGirl · 30/04/2024 22:31

I had a dream where I met my Dad (he had been dead 2 years) and he told me that he was not in heaven yet (I can well believe that! He was a fast living seaman) but that he was working his way towards there. He told me that he was happy and that he was proud of me. It was so vivid.

YoureStuckOnMeLikeATattoohoohoo · 30/04/2024 22:31

I was really very unwell one night, as in at deaths door unwell.

My son had died some years previously, and as I lay there, I felt awake, and this beautiful boy, with the darkest hair and biggest eyes, walked up, sat on my bed and said "you'll be OK mum, you have stuff to do" and kissed my head. It felt so real. The next day was a real turning point in my illness and I was, indeed, OK.

Gives me chills every time to think it could have been my boy checking in.

Marellaspirit · 30/04/2024 22:32

I've had a few, two involving my uncle. One, he was at a family event in my dream but I was the only one who could see him or knew he was there. The other, he spoke to me and told me he was looking after my mum. She had just had a mini stroke and was having other health problems.

I've also had one about my Nanna. I hadn't seen her before she died and I didn't visit her in the funeral home. I dreamed that she came to say goodbye to me.

Every time I have had one I've woken up with a huge sense of peace.

LutonBeds · 30/04/2024 22:32

I was quite poorly with glandular fever 20-odd years ago. I was in such pain all over and especially my joints as they had swollen loads (couldn’t get a watch/jewellery on). I woke up in the middle of the night and someone put a cool hand on my forehead and the pain went and I went back to sleep.

I ‘saw’ a nurse, They didn’t say anything but I got a strong sense of what their name was. I was/am convinced that a friend who had died suddenly when we were early 20s had sent someone to help me. Friend wanted to be a nurse and I think she sent someone to help ease my pain.

Claysta · 30/04/2024 22:33

My friend of 30 years took her own life and I had such a vivid dream shortly after where she looked at me, I knew it was her and she said she was OK and at peace now, in my dream I recognised her voice and I thought - she’s alive, it didn’t happen and I must tell everyone. Then I woke up. I’d love her to come again as I think of her everyday.

Lilacdew · 30/04/2024 22:33

Not exactly but I had a lovely dream after my dad died in which he appeared fit and healthy and tanned, doing something he loves in a beautiful place. He looked really happy and told me it was 'marvellous here' so I decided that is where he is spending the after life.

Sunflowermoonbeam · 30/04/2024 22:33

Yes, my Mum. She died very suddenly 11 years ago. I can't pinpoint when the dream was now but i feel like it was at least 4 or 5 years after her death so not at a time when i was still extremely preoccupied by the loss as you are in the immediate days, weeks and months. Anyway she was on their drive having just got out of a car. She enveloped me in the biggest hug, it felt and smelled how hugs with her felt. I can still remember the feeling and tears well up now just thinking of it. When i woke I said to my husband I genuinely felt like I'd seen my mum again. Even more poignant because I left for work one day and never saw my mum again so i never got to say goodbye. I really hope i experience this again