Private vs state secondary choice

[Glitterfish]

Posting here for traffic as I have to make up my mind this week. I am really conflicted over the best choice of secondary school for my son. He has been accepted for both but I really can't make up my mind. WWYD?

The state secondary school nearby is excellent, great reports etc BUT huge numbers in the school. There is a bus practically from our door and he would be mixing with friends from the village (which is important as he went to a primary school a little further afield) and its mixed sex.

Or there is a private school about half an hour away (would have to drive), fantastic resources and opportunities, small numbers BUT single sex. It will also be long days (8.30 - 8) even as a day pupil as they have to stay for activities and study every day. Great sports facilities which he loves but its a rugby school and he isn't particularly interested in that but also has a golf pro etc (he's just taken to golf recently). Other school has very good sports facilities and range of sports but not to this level.

My son is a very friendly and chatty boy but also a bit immature for his age. He also has dyslexia and lacks focus so works better in small groups. He really liked both schools when we did the introduction days. We can afford the private school atm but may have to cut back on holidays etc.

I think a private school may give him an advantage later on in life but think the local state school might meet his immediate needs best - WWYD? Any advice welcome.

YABU - send him to the state school
YANBU - send him to the private school

The two form entry concerns me. That's very small. A school that small is less likely to have the budget for multiple options taught by subject specialists, and more likely to have jack of all trades teaching multiple subjects. Also six form entry is a very small secondary.

I would send him to the excellent local state school for now and consider sending him to the private 6th form if appropriate when the time comes. I think 6th form is the most impactful time to be in private education.

How many boys i it per yar at the Secondary?

If they need 15 for a rugby team plus subs.. Will there be a lot of pressure to play if they are quite sporty?

Are you sure the dyslexia provision is better at the private school? It’s rarely good anywhere (state or private) and I’ve found that most private schools expect you to source and pay for specialist tutoring. Dyslexia is a big spectrum (mildly affected by struggling with some spelling, to significant reading, writing and processing difficulties). If it’s an academic school, is he likely to start feeling stressed by how much harder he has to work than his peers? The benefit of a state comp can be the opportunity to run your own race- there are so many different abilities that you’ll rarely feel way off the pace.

Also six form entry is not big!! It’s big enough for good facilities but not so huge it’s intimidating and difficult to crowd control.

Also, go and find a compound interest calculator and get an estimate of how much you would have by the end of seven years if you invested the £160k (ex VAT) or £200k (plus VAT) you’d spend in a tracker fund. It’ll be eye watering.

Giving your son a house deposit (or six figure lump sum to be invested for later in life) will make a much bigger difference to his outcomes when added to a solid state education. Friends who went to private school do pretty much the same jobs as us state plebs (on balance probably lower paid in many cases and more SAHMs). The lifestyle difference is always due to being bought or able to buy property young, and being gifted big chunks of money in adulthood.