To feel sad at my child’s activity today?

[Newe]

My child started a new activity recently and today I saw other kids from his class and their mums. I said hello to them all but I felt a deep feeling of jealously / sadness because they all are so close and I’m not. He’s in year 1 and like me they all met each other over a year ago in reception class. I have always found hard to make friends or maintain friends so I know it’s me not them but it just really hurts as he’s my youngest and I had the same with the eldest one and still do. I really thought I would make more effort but I just can’t.

It’s not ‘wrong’, but you keep saying you don’t ’make an effort’, and that it’s all too hard. But then you say you feel sad and lonely at school events. I think you need to decide whether it’s more difficult to make an effort to make friends or to continue to sit by yourself.

I think the school gate friendship stuff is really hard. There are some that fit into the main ‘cliches’ and others who don’t for whatever reason. Honestly, I would look elsewhere for friends - a book club, walking club etc - whatever you like. I made what I thought were great mum friends through school but a few years in and most haven’t lasted the time. I find the whole thing very loaded and full of snobbery / competition etc now. The adults are genuinely worse than the children sometimes. I’m slightly ‘off-beat’ compared to other people too OP and it’s really hard.

Maybe they aren't your tribe. My DC have been to two primaries, first one - parents super friendly, still friends with them now. Current school, I've chatted to a few, have organized a few playdates but realistically I just don't fit in and won't make friends with any of them. It makes me sad and I think we shouldn't have moved them but we moved house so it made sense.

It did make me think though that sometimes it's the environment rather than you.

Thank you all I still feel a little crap today.