Odd Encounter with Old Friend

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Around 15 years ago, in my 20s, I had a really close male friend. We lived in the same city for a couple of years, and socialised a lot together and as a group. Entirely platonic, no suggestion of anything else.

I got a job in another city but we stayed in touch and continued to socialise, albeit less often. Then, out of the blue, he stopped making contact, and deleted me from social media. I didn’t follow up with him about it, pride mainly, but I was very hurt at the time. Things moved on and had no contact at all for over a decade.

Recently, my employer engaged his employer to work together on a project. I mainly deal with someone else on it but the other day, we exchanged emails regarding the project. No mention of us ever knowing each other previously, entirely professional exchanges about the work.

He must have known it was me as my name isn’t common, and now I don’t know what to do. Should I acknowledge that we knew each other before? What happens if we have to meet face to face - not likely as he’s not part of the core team, but not
impossible.

It’s just a really awkward situation. AIBU to just carry on without mentioning anything?

It sounds like he now has a partner who wasn't comfortable with your friendship. I would say hi stranger and engage with him.

How very strange, I wouldn't feel compelled to mention it to anyone unless there's some legal obligation that would impact your work.

In regards to him, if I didn't have direct contact I wouldn't make anything direct, if we did end up in a room I'd play it down, is it John, oh wow, how are you, I didn't even realise, how have you been? small world and back in the room...

He recoiled for a reason, you'll never know unless he tells you, best not dwell.

He may be the sort of person who wants to keep those kind of exchanges off work email. If I work on a project my emails often are saved as part of communal files and viewable by others. He might not like others knowing his business or just speculating

The strange thing was that his email was really breezy, like he didn’t have a clue who I was. I wondered if he’d completely forgotten me? I have married since but kept my name for professional reasons. I think I’m gonna have to broach it somehow!

Perhaps not over email though. There's that saying... Dance like no one is watching, email like it'll be read out in court.

Maybe you could say “ I used to be good friends with someone with your name, it’s not you is it?” He might say ‘no not me though’!

Why do you neeed to broach it? He cut you off and now he is ignoring your historical friendship.

There's nothing to say, just complete the professional communication needed and move on.

I wouldn’t approach him about it at all. In the unlikely event you meet, you can say ah I recognised the name but couldn’t place it. Don’t email about it, his emails have the potential to be viewed by others. He might be indiscreet and make you sound a bit stalky.

This sounds good to me!

As @icelollycraving says. Definitely don't mention it. Especially since he ghosted you.

I wouldn't say a word.

Don't say anything. Keep everything professional. That's what he's doing.

I see your points, it just feels odd; however, contact is likely to be fairly limited, so I’ll keep it work-related.

Say something innocuous like "gosh it's been a long time. I hope you've been well?" So you're acknowledging that you know him, but not attempting to make a personal connection.

He started ignoring you and deleted you off social media? That's pretty shit. I would treat him like a total stranger.

I did this once - got radio silence
He probably used to fancy you , then got a girlfriend.

I'd definitely leave it. He cut ties for whatever reason. Let sleeping dogs lie.

This. 100%.