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AIBU?

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Original poster

Husbands search history

40 replies

schoolie258 · 30/04/2024 08:21

It's a bit funny but not really. Husband hasn't said anything to me at all so there's definitely a lack of communication on his side aswell as mine I suppose.

I used the iPad we have (it's communal and we both use it) this morning I went to use it and noticed the last thing searched on google was "why does my wife talk so much" 😂 he then went onto a Reddit forum about a wife over talking and trapping this man in never ending 'conversations'

Did he purposely leave the history available to give me a hint? lol

Am I supposed to be seen and not heard? I can't really improve things if I don't know what the issue is. This morning we were talking about saving for a mortgage which was a 2 way conversation as far as I'm aware. How do I bring this up? Or do I just try to be more aware of when he's tired and doesn't want me to speak to him ?

OP posts:
Workaholic99 · 03/05/2024 07:54

schoolie258 · 30/04/2024 08:32

@Steamboats I have felt sometimes I talk too much or I'll be on a rant about something and I've ended up boring myself and I've said to him "I talk too much don't I?" And he always disagrees. So i have asked him before but he clearly just says the opposite of how he really feels

That's not really asking him directly though. He's not going to want to hurt your feelings by admitting it.

Emmz1510 · 03/05/2024 15:42

Mudflaps · 30/04/2024 10:01

I think I'd have to search 'why doesn't my husband talk more' or 'why is all conversation left to me' and leave it for him to find.

This absolutely!

SpaghettiWithaYeti · 03/05/2024 15:47

DH talks a lot, he sort of articulates every thought he has out loud and it got me to the point I felt like I had no headspace to ever think my own thoughts. He's getting better now and I have learnt to find ways to take myself away (long baths etc) but I doubt that was a coded message, but could easily be something he is struggling with and looking for help with, as it can feel really hard to bring up on conversation

SpaghettiWithaYeti · 03/05/2024 15:49

schoolie258 · 30/04/2024 09:34

@Steamboats - haha at least it's not just me! Glad someone else does the same. I'm on maternity leave at the moment so I'm probably talking at him a bit more than usual as I have a lack of adult conversation. Yes I suppose he is a bit of a peacemaker. He's relatively quiet which is why I probably feel the need to carry the conversation otherwise I think we'd just be sitting in silence which is nice sometimes but not all the time

@MILhere Yea it's shared. Thats why I'm not sure if he meant to delete it maybe? Or if he's left it there on purpose as a way of giving me a hint without having to actually speak to me about it

What's wrong with sitting peacefully together? I'd say that's a hallmark of being comfortable and happy.

Lambriniwages · 03/05/2024 18:15

I would be a little miffed seeing that, more so if my husband didn't actually say it to my face lol.

If mine is annoying me for whatever reason I would just tell him. Some men though are crap communicators so it could just be that.

I wouldn't be too upset tho as his search history could be alot worse lol.

PartyPartyYeah · 03/05/2024 18:22

I would in future only half finish sentences 😂

Bobbotgegrinch · 03/05/2024 18:29

Hi @schoolie258 , I could be your husband.

My DP talks a lot. Her brain constantly seems to be going at a million miles an hour, and a lot of what she's thinking about gets talked about. I know everything that has happened in her day without about 15 minutes of getting home, and then I'll hear it again when she tells DD, and then there'll be a conversation with the cat, and then she'll tell me about all the conversations with her friends that day.

And I love her for it. I really genuinely do. I'm not a chatty person, but she brings me out of my shell in a way no-one ever has. She just loves a conversation.

But sometimes, like once or twice a month, I'll have just woken up, or just got through the door after a spectacularly hard day at work, or have a splitting hangover, and I'm 10 minutes into a 3 volume epic on her day, and I'll just think to my self "Oh will you please just shut the fuck up!"

I'd never say it though. I just give her a kiss on the forehead and say "Shhh, honey", and go hide somewhere for a bit. Because I never want her to feel like she can't talk to me.

Your husband didn't ask you to be quiet, he just quietly had a bit of a moment, and looked online to see if he was alone in feeling like this. Forget you ever saw it and move on.

Lambriniwages · 03/05/2024 18:36

Bobbotgegrinch · 03/05/2024 18:29

Hi @schoolie258 , I could be your husband.

My DP talks a lot. Her brain constantly seems to be going at a million miles an hour, and a lot of what she's thinking about gets talked about. I know everything that has happened in her day without about 15 minutes of getting home, and then I'll hear it again when she tells DD, and then there'll be a conversation with the cat, and then she'll tell me about all the conversations with her friends that day.

And I love her for it. I really genuinely do. I'm not a chatty person, but she brings me out of my shell in a way no-one ever has. She just loves a conversation.

But sometimes, like once or twice a month, I'll have just woken up, or just got through the door after a spectacularly hard day at work, or have a splitting hangover, and I'm 10 minutes into a 3 volume epic on her day, and I'll just think to my self "Oh will you please just shut the fuck up!"

I'd never say it though. I just give her a kiss on the forehead and say "Shhh, honey", and go hide somewhere for a bit. Because I never want her to feel like she can't talk to me.

Your husband didn't ask you to be quiet, he just quietly had a bit of a moment, and looked online to see if he was alone in feeling like this. Forget you ever saw it and move on.

Very good point I think alot of that stems from if you've been on your own most of the day you just want to talk and it ends up going off at 100 miles an hour.
I can be quiet and then next min I have so much to say I do wonder if I have ADHD at times but I wouldn't want to label myself .
Tbh my husband is more a chatterbox than me anyway lol

MrsB74 · 03/05/2024 19:06

Beccaboo0979 · 02/05/2024 22:38

Maybe leave a search on how to deal with small penises...see if he questions it? 😆

Love it. Seriously though, just ask him
about it. I talk a lot too, not monologues, I just love chatting. I do watch for cues that I’m blabbering on too much 😂. One of my DDs is the same and my DH does bring it up light heartedly, but we must drive him nuts!

Thirstysue · 03/05/2024 19:56

Take the hint and wind it in.

inabubble3 · 05/05/2024 08:09

Well if you’ve said to him “I talk to much don’t I?” And he’s said no then you’ve tried right 😂.

In actual life it’s probably best to just raise it (maybe don’t say you saw the search history- or do I dunno) if you’re bothered.

in actual fact I’d search - ‘why doesn’t my husband tell me if he thinks I talk too much’😉

I dread to think people seeing my search history . I search all sorts. Would t sweat it x

juniorspesh · 05/05/2024 09:34

I always end up googling the title of Reddit threads because I've seen screenshots posted on Twitter or Instagram but you have to google the exact title if you want to read the whole thing.

dontforgetme · 05/05/2024 09:45

I think this is hilarious and definitely something I could see my oh searching too. I'm a talker too op Grin

I'd bring it up in a jokey way - oh dh I saw your search history and I've ordered you some ear buds darling Grin

DistinguishedSocialCommentator · 05/05/2024 09:46

Trust takes a long time to build and a moment to lose. Why are you looking up your DH's "search history"??

Mimimimi1234 · 06/05/2024 23:57

Mudflaps · 30/04/2024 10:01

I think I'd have to search 'why doesn't my husband talk more' or 'why is all conversation left to me' and leave it for him to find.

So if I saw this I would just ask my partner, about it, we would first laugh about it and he would probably tell me I did talk too much and he was looking for advice on what to do. Then we might discuss how we can solve the issue and I might agree to try to recognise when I might be overdoing the talking, but ai would also tell him something that annoyed me about him to make it fair. Then for the rest of his life I would bring up 'remember that time you googled I talk too much' and he would regret ever googling it as it would be perfect ammo, especially if he ever started going on about something really boring, I would use the 'remember that time you googled why does my wife talk too much'.

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