God it's heart breaking

[PinkTrainToy]

Hi all,

I'm just posting out of frustration DD is 3 and self harms (scratches herself, claws at herself, bites herself etc) and I've just given her a bath and seen the extent of her injuries. Her arms are covered in scratches and bruises (she must have done them at nursery).

She also hurts other children when she's frustrated and I've had a few incident forms to fill out.

Nursery can't always keep an eye on her due to ratios, she gets an hour a day with the senco and then she's sort of mixed in with the other children.

I just, it's not getting any easier she was diagnosed March 2023 with a genetic disorder and we suspect she's autistic but won't be having that assessment until the end of the year.

She got a lot of support in place but I can tell nursery is struggling to meet her needs and I can't put her in a special nursery without an EHCP which I have applied for so hopefully should hear by September but she's not ready for school until next September. It's just so shit, I hear the other parents at nursery talking about birthday parties, ones DD is never invited to, other children tend to just avoid her.

It's heartbreaking and I wish it was different for her.

Virtual hug. I'm so sorry its so tough right now and possibly will be in the future. Hopefully the formal diagnosis will help your child get the support they so deserve. Try to look for the small wins. They will add up and no matter what shes precious and special to you and shes also lucky to have you!

I don’t have anything useful to add but didn’t want to read and run. It sounds so tough and I hope you get the support you need for the assessment and the EHCP.

Are there any therapies available for very young children, assuming the self-harm is an emotional outlet at this age?

Hope you are ok too. Must be so upsetting to see your daughter feeling like this.

Oh OP, I've been there and I want to give you a hug too! What saved me was a parent/carer Facebook page and events with other parents in the same boat. Hopefully there are local charities too that provide children's activities and support. It gets easier.

Hi OP, your daughter sounds an awful lot like mine.
Genetic disorder, also autistic - self harms when frustrated.

I can't tell you how it will be for you and your daughter- the past couple of years have been hell for us for fighting for specialist provision but we have it now.

I would really recommend perusing Ipsea's website for guidance re EHC plans.

We redirect to chewbuddies for when she is biting herself too

It’s heartbreaking to see her left out and awful to know she’s harming herself.

Maybe try, https://contact.org.uk/. They might be able to put you in touch with someone to talk to?

It sounds like she’s in the wrong environment but if she can get into a special school you’ll probably find she’s invited to parties, since you’re all in the same boat.

Are you in England? If so, the Nursery should be able to apply for additional SEN funding from the local authority. It's only for 15 hours, but it might help the nursery put more support in place.