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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be annoyed or let it go?

11 replies

goodnessgraciousmamma · 29/04/2024 18:52

We live in a semi detached house on a fairly quiet road. Always had good relationship with neighbours until a few years ago when it started to go a bit sour with next door. We had some issues re the fences and whose responsibility it was to fix them. This has made things very awkward. Turned out it was our fences and we needed to sort it out which we did. Fences broke again last summer and she had some very choice words about us getting them done asap. To be honest this really put my back up, especially when I learned that it had broken again because she had fixed some (too heavy) trellising on it.

When we had the new ones put up I specifically asked for nothing to be attached to them and for them not to be painted. To be honest I was probably being a little petty about the painting but I'm still annoyed at how the situation was dealt with. Went out in the garden yesterday and I've realised it's been painted and now is dripping through on our side so we will now have to paint ours the same colour!

I'm really tempted to message and say something but that's because I'm really angry about it now. I don't want to say something in haste that I will regret afterwards. So should I just forget about it and move on for the sake of not making things even frostier?

OP posts:
Dareisayiseethesunshine · 29/04/2024 18:54

Personally I would paint it the colour of your choice. Let them live with unmatched drips.

goodnessgraciousmamma · 29/04/2024 19:13

@Dareisayiseethesunshine that would be a good idea but unfortunately the way the fence slats are facing it wouldn't drop on to her side if we painted I don't think.

OP posts:
Greywitch2 · 29/04/2024 19:15

I would forget it and move on. Squabbles with neighbours are to be avoided if at all possible or your home life becomes absolutely miserable.

Does it really matter in the scheme of things?

EscapeTheCastle · 29/04/2024 19:35

Get some shrubs in so you don't need to look at the fence slats.

My first reaction to your post was to paint your side Barbie pink and really push it through so it ruins their side. LOL.

Mrspatmoresspoon · 29/04/2024 19:42

Honestly op life is too short unless they have painted it Barbie pink then I’d get the nearest match and spruce up my side.

Drapion · 29/04/2024 19:42

I am someone who has the very best neighbours on one side and the very worst on the other. Things will never improve with the worst side and it causes a lot of upset and anxiety. If I had my time again I would still do the same thing- but that's only because they did things illegal and bullying to others in the neighbourhood. However I definitely wouldn't do anything now to rock the boat- keep the truce that is currently happening going for the sake of a peaceful life.

Your neighbours are infuriating, but by your own admission it was probably petty to say don't paint. I would for the sake of a peaceful life not mention anything, instead either paint your side or hide it with shrubs. A painted fence is not worth upsetting the status quo!

mondaytosunday · 29/04/2024 19:51

In this case I think you should say something. She is not allowed to paint your fence. The fact she did when you explicitly told her not to is worse. I would say something but I realise it would not improve things but I don't thinking would worsen it - I'd just like her (to hopefully) feel embarrassed that you know she went against your wishes and that she's totally out of order.

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 29/04/2024 19:54

Boundaries stir up trouble ime. One ndn- we wanted a wall up at the front.. They were enraged. They wanted to get the line checked.. They got a builder in to check for them. They fumed even more when they were told they owed us half a brick width! Other side ndn attacked our new fence with a claw hammer. Had to get solicitors involved then.

WarshipRocinante · 29/04/2024 19:54

Lean over the top and paint her side multi coloured 😂.

But really, probably just ask her to buy the paint to allow you to fix your side. If she refuses, tell her she has to put the fence back to the colour you originally had it.

Whatwouldnanado · 29/04/2024 19:56

If you can afford it put new fencing up with separate footings against but not attached to the original. Then it’s your fence, let them deal with the one that keeps falling down and do as they like,

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 29/04/2024 19:57

Legally she has to allow you in her garden to maintain your fence... At an agreed time obviously..

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