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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Guy at work constantly looks but has never spoken to me

19 replies

Lesvacances455 · 29/04/2024 16:28

Well, I was assigned a seat next to him once, he made a brief joke and that's it.
I'm not being deluded but I constantly see this guy looking at me and he smiles at me and stuff. I just feel a spark.
From conversation I've overheard he has children, unsure if he's single though.
I know people will say don't date colleagues but we don't work for the same team and we aren't in on the same days.
He's in what appears to be quite a successful band, mutual colleagues have informed me.
I'd like to start a conversation with him but unsure how to do so? This would also mean walking over to his desk in front of everyone.
However I don't feel it's a good sign that he hasn't really spoken to me..
Any ideas of what I could do/conversation starters?
We have teams instant messaging too but it would probably look creepy..

OP posts:
Lesvacances455 · 29/04/2024 16:30

Obviously I need to find out for sure if he's single.

OP posts:
chaticat · 29/04/2024 16:31

If you can't even talk to him then why are you so besotted? Could you go and grab a drink from the kitchen when you know he's there? He's probably looking at you as you keep looking at him?

Lesvacances455 · 29/04/2024 16:33

I can see him looking at me, and no, not just because I'm looking at him. Heaven forbid somebody might actually fancy me.
I'm not besotted, but I'm interested. I'll try the kitchen suggestion, that's a good idea. Just not sure what to say.

OP posts:
fozwomble · 29/04/2024 16:35

Just say hi, how was your weekend or anything planned for the weekend depending on when you speak to him. That's just regular colleague small talk and doesn't mean anything. That said, there could be plenty of reasons he's looking at you. But having a normal chat and just being friendly will help you work out what.

Lesvacances455 · 29/04/2024 16:38

Maybe he's looking at me with disgust, who knows 🤣
But yeah, I'll just have to keep it casual and try to find out more. Or ask about his band.

OP posts:
LeaderBee · 29/04/2024 16:38

"Hey Ben (or whatever his name is), want to get freaky in the photocopier room?" and then tell him you have the only copy of the keys.

Lesvacances455 · 29/04/2024 16:39

LeaderBee · 29/04/2024 16:38

"Hey Ben (or whatever his name is), want to get freaky in the photocopier room?" and then tell him you have the only copy of the keys.

Edited

Hahah I wish 🤣 sadly all ours are in the open plan offices

OP posts:
GerbilsForever24 · 29/04/2024 16:40

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Lesvacances455 · 29/04/2024 16:40

This reply has been deleted

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

This is the only thread on this man I can assure you.

OP posts:
Lesvacances455 · 29/04/2024 16:49

The other guy isn't at work.
And even if I am, so what?
Is there some sort of law?

OP posts:
GerbilsForever24 · 29/04/2024 16:57

You're right. I've asked for my posts to be deleted. I'm just in a mood. Sorry.

Lesvacances455 · 29/04/2024 16:58

Don't worry, it's fine.

OP posts:
TheShellBeach · 29/04/2024 17:17

You're not the OP who has an obsession with a man at work, are you?

Lesvacances455 · 29/04/2024 18:18

TheShellBeach · 29/04/2024 17:17

You're not the OP who has an obsession with a man at work, are you?

I don't have an obsession with this man no, I've literally spoken to him once and yeah I fancy him but I don't even know if he's single yet.

OP posts:
DrJoanAllenby · 29/04/2024 18:28

He probably thinks you're a weirdo.

Lesvacances455 · 29/04/2024 18:29

DrJoanAllenby · 29/04/2024 18:28

He probably thinks you're a weirdo.

Yeah, since you know him personally don't you 🙄. Did you pretty much come on here just to be an asshole?

OP posts:
FinallyHere · 29/04/2024 19:20

but I don't even know if he's single yet.

A chat in the kitchen sounds like a good way forward. As soon as you feel comfortable to do so, I'd encourage you ask ask him what his wife things or would do or some other question.

Easiest way to establish whether someone is married. Useful red flag if he refers to the 'wicked witch who is now his ex' so win:win.

FinallyHere · 29/04/2024 19:21

By things, I meant thinks. Naturally.

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