Just want my 9 week old to sleep through

[bluebag27]

I know I am being unreasonable because it's not going to happen anytime soon and he is still only little. But I guess I just need somewhere to vent, as I'm absolutely knackered and my mental health is shot.

The night feeds are so so difficult. He's waking up at least twice in the night and more often than not he won't go back to sleep after his feed. The whole thing can take over an hour. Yes I do have a DP who helps but it's still exhausting as when it's not my turn to feed, I can hear the baby crying and fussing and then it wakes me up also.

My DP also has to leave early for work so I have to get my 5 year old, myself and my 9 week old ready for the school run. I absolutely dread it every single day. I've been in tears this morning because I've just had enough, it's not just the night wakings but it's also that I feel I carry the burden of everything else. As I said above, my mental health is in pieces.

Somebody please tell me it gets easier? I don't remember things being this difficult with my first. I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel and currently, I'm just wishing time away for my baby to grow up which is an absolutely awful thing to say as I should be treasuring these moments and I just can't.

Some babies sleep easily, others don't. It's nothing you're doing wrong (one of mine was 5 before consistently sleeping through). Is there anything else you can change to make life easier? Some ideas

• you go to bed just after 5yo & DH keeps baby downstairs and does last feed and settle before he comes up, then you get a block of sleep, maybe 8-11, plus however long until babies first wake-up

• everything for school prepared the night before (ideallyby DH), so you just have to get dressed and go.

• baby can do school run in pajamas with blanket over him in the pram.

• leave a prepacked waffle / Pain au chocolat, water bottle & piece of fruit out the night before for 5yo to eat while you get you and baby ready.

I have a 5wo who sleeps brilliantly at night for his age. Usually only one wake for a feed. However, I’m still knackered because endless broken sleep is horrendous. Plus looking after a newborn all day as well. I can understand why two wakes is killing you.

Your DP can help more with the school run even if it’s just making sure everything is ready for you before leaving for work. That way you just get dressed and go.

@Littlepixie75 tbf those options only work if baby will stay asleep in car or pram.

Currently on my second newborn and both my babies seem to pretty much only sleep at motorway speeds so wake up as soon as hit the exit roundabout never mind parked up for any length of time. Same with pram, most of time won't even sleep longer than 40ish mins and again wake when stopped, which is not surprising if will wake when still bloody moving!

I do agree even short chunks of sleep add up though, I currently sleep 9-10:30ish pm (DH holds him), midnight-3ish and then 5-6:30ish (will go in cot between midnight and 6ish thank god), with a morning nap on one weekend day. If I don't get 5.5h I really struggle. It means not seeing my DH much but hoping it will just be a few more months and that keeps me going. We sleep in separate bedrooms also for better sleep quality. Am EBF so can't get any longer stretches but FF fed my first, and if could get a night uninterrupted it was amazing, could your partner do this one night on weekend? We also split the nights then so him 8pm-2am then baby was mine until he finished work - and had the baby thrust at him as soon as!

I have to use sling for all naps in day, not too bad right now as nearly 3 months and so not that heavy, but can at least sit down and put my feet up then get up to rock into next sleep cycle to try stretch the nap. Is this something you could try? I find this more restful than attempting to put them down for them to wake straightaway or up to 15 mins later then having to cope with an overtired baby.

It will get better, I know that from my first, but it is so hard getting to that point. I defo recommend separate bedrooms for now and talking to your health visitor for support.

6 months was a major milestone in terms of sleep with my first as could do gradual retreat as gentle sleep training, so just need to get there in one piece with this one! Was off night feeds as well so we went back to same bedroom too, fingers crossed for the same again, or ideally sooner. I find accepting this helps me mentally. With my first I tried all sorts to try get her to sleep independently when would have been much happier just going with it as she wasn't ready.

Im 16 months in and mine still doesn’t sleep through!