To think I'm just not what most men want

[Justkeepswiimming]

Worryingly already close to a pity post. Although it's not meant to be. I'm 34. I've been separated from my ex for 4 years. I'd been with him since 17. Before that I had one other proper boyfriend and few teenager messing arounds.

I've just got to the point of think I'm just not really what men want. Undateable. My ex didn't want me. I've been single since. I've tried dating apps but honestly I think they show up how much I'm not what men want, rather than improving the situation. I'd like to say here I'm genuinely happy in my own company. I'm happy with my life. I love my relationship with my daughter. I love my independentand the life ive created. I don't really feel anything is missing most of the time. But equally I know I may not always feel like this. And I don't actually feel if the time comes, I'd actually find someone.

I'm not conventionally attractive. Pretty plain. I'm not faffed with grooming. I don't wear much make-up, keep my nails short. Don't tan. But I do care about my appearance. I have a practical dress sense, but not awful I don't think. I'm a reasonably intelligent person. Almost certainly too opinionated and independent. Not typically feminine.

Am I beyond hope? Many men seem to have a completely different ideal to a woman. OD shows men to be interested in sex and not much else, and I'm not the kind of person who wants quick s*ag. There are so many beautifully groomed women out there. I mean this feels ridiculous writing it. But equally. At 35 nearly. The idea of a future with no one else. It's feels a bit grim. Where are the less shallow men who a prepared to look deeper?

I'm in a similar boat OP.

I understand why everyone is saying to ditch OLD. But I think it's too easy to say do hobbies, go out and meet people. I have two kids, no childcare other than their dad. Trying to get to regular hobbies is a logisticsal nightmare! It's flipping depressing.

@Kindleonfire thank you for your comment. I'm so glad it's not just me. I totally agree. I do try to have a hobbies in the time working and parenting allow. I walk and go camping and exploring. I volunteer with a club she goes to. I'm a school governor. I have a group of friends who I do go out with when time allows. But realistically that is limited.

I think most men prefer a woman who can get ready quickly and doesn't need to spend hours applying makeup etc before they leave the house.

A practical look is fine. It's more important to have things in common. I have seen a few relationships fail after several years together when the man has ditched the girl that cares about looks and gone for someone relatively ungroomed but who loves to go skiing or mountain biking or climbing or playing guitar or whatever. Being interested in talking about the same things and having a similar sense of humour are important too.

Maybe you are going for the wrong things online? If you have any preconceived ideas about looks or qualifications or jobs maybe ditch them and look purely at whether person has the same interests as you.