Is it ok to have a lazy day

[honeyb33]

Been a truly lazy day today. PJs til noon. Rain all day. Dh has just taken the toddler for a quick walk to get some air in between the showers. Tween is now complaining he's bored and has been on screens most of the day. Even though I know it's fine once in a while I still feel guilty for being lazy.
Tween does ordinarily love to be outdoors but it's so wet he can't even go in the garden.

That's not lazy parenting - especially as you don't do it everyday.

It should be normal for your kids to be left to their own devices - ideally several times a week. It shouldn't be something that only happens once a decade.

I’ve done one load of washing and I’m still in my nightie watching tv. Nothing wrong with it x

I used to get this a lot when I was younger. Spent a weekend with a friend and her husband bored out of my mind because all they wanted to do was watch Netflix and series I hadn't watched because I never watched much TV.

FFWD to 40's and I love do nothing days. I can now watch complete tripe for a whole day just to pass time quite happily. I think it is harder with young kids partly because they just don't want to do nothing and the mum guilt of not keeping them "learning" in whatever capacity you can creeps up.

It's a balance but no, one day every few weeks or every week of being calm and entertaining themselves will not hurt them and may even give good habits around down time and organising their own time.

Even as a teenager I sometimes preferred my own company, just being in my room reading or listening to the radio or whatever. Kids don’t always want to be made to do something.

Mine have mostly been entertaining themselves today, we’ve just played a game and now they’re watching the football.

It’s good for kids to be bored sometimes and have to come up with their own entertainment. Don’t feel guilty

Why is this even a question?

Football in the house??? Not a bloody chance. Send him out into the garden.

Chance would be a fine thing. It's non bloody stop all the time.

The fact that you have said he doesn't know what to do with himself cause he is always entertained (or words to that effect) suggest it isn't just OK, it's necessary. Being able to find your own fun and be comfortable your own is a massive life skill. So enjoy your day!

If it makes you feel better my 4 year old has gone between playing minecraft and watching others play minecraft most of the day, with a little break for lunch and a couple of board games. My 9 year old has watched Wednesday and done some arts and crafts. I have a terrible toothache and have been sorting out daughters bedroom for redecorating so haven't done much parenting either.

I have been sat on the sofa since about 1.30pm, last time I did this was out of necessity due to illness so it’s a real treat!

You seem to have a very distorted view of family time. If you honestly need to ask whether it's ok to have a lazy day, then I would suggest that there is something seriously wrong.

Are you neurotic? Have chronic anxiety?

It's character building...they'll be fine finding their own entertainment.

Everyone should rest up...
If you don't pick a day to relax your body will decide for you.

I could have written this OP. I struggle with massive anxiety and guilt over doing nothing. Loads of people will be along to say it’s normal/necessay and I get this in theory but boy do I beat myself up for doing nothing. It seems profoundly wrong at some really fundamental level.

I think it’s a hangover from my childhood: my parents would really guilt me about doing nothing and would walk into the room and turn the tv off if we were watching anything non educational.

I now recognise their approach was a bit nuts but it’s really hard-wired into me that there’s something morally suspect and feckless about doing nothing. A day watching TV is unbearably stressful for me: it makes me feel a bit unwell.

I hope so because we've hardly done anything this weekend.
Yesterday dh was ill so we watched a film and binged watched a series.
Today nipped out to the shops then came home and made a roast chicken Sunday dinner.

Come on, OP.

Is this really another thread where people are struggling to make grown up decisions for themselves?

I've had three really busy weekends on the trot. Next weekend, I am planning to do precisely fuck all. The following weekend will be busy-ish too.

I consider it a win if I spend all day Sunday in my pj's. I don't feel guilty about it! And I certainly don't need validation from anyone else that I can choose to spend my free time how I wish.

Growing up in the 1980s and 1990s I had to entertain myself because my parents were always preoccupied! I used to love reading and writing and basically doing stuff in my bedroom alone. It's not good for kids to think they have to depend on their parents to entertain them every minute of every day.

To clarify, I don't feel bad about having a lazy day myself. I bloody love it. I feel bad about my kids being holed up inside on screens all day because I want to be lazy. You only need to read the threads on MN to see how judgey people can be about that. But honestly I know it won't do them any harm for one day.

There's nothing 'seriously wrong' with me. I'm not neurotic. I'm capable of making grown up decisions. But I do suffer from anxiety so maybe that's a factor.

You only need to read the threads on MN to see how judgey people can be about that.

And what do you think their children are doing whilst they're on their phones casting judgment on other people's parenting..?

There are plenty of people on here who talk shit. Don't base your life choices on what posters on MN say. You don't even know what they look like let alone whether they're being honest or not!

Not only will it not do them harm it’s actually good for them!!

I hear you, OP. I'm quite anxious myself but I took one look out the window this morning and wrote the day off as a ''film day''.

I have a 90/10 rule - if 90% of my time feels/is productive, I can let my hair down for the other 10%.

I’m everyone else. This is a totally normal thing to do.

I don’t get the ‘parenting’ thing, you are running a house and home, it’s non stop with school, work and household tasks.
You should be taking days off. Regularly.

If it works for you and you’re all happy then it’s fine! I know people who spend every Sunday having a very lazy day! I can’t do it because it impacts my mental health, I end up feeling awful for the next day or two. My DH could happily lie in bed til 2pm!

I think it's not brilliant parenting to keep them constantly occupied and not let them have a day occasionally where they have to entertain themselves to be honest! You're doing them a favour - it's good parenting to let them learn to occupy themselves!