To want to stop comfort/binge eating for good

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I've always been a comfort eater; I have memories of coming home from primary school and eating snacks to self-regulate and relax. I was still slim until around 18, but once I started university and had access to my own money to be able to buy as much sweets, chocolate and crisps as I wanted to it was all downhill and I went from a size 10/12 to an 18. I'm now 30, and feel so frustrated with myself, as I was overweight/obese for my entire 20s.

I want to stop with the comfort eating/binge eating in the evenings and lose weight. My weight costs me so much as I feel so much shame around it; I won't wear the nice clothes that I want to, I avoid going out in my hometown in case I'm seen by people I went to secondary school with, I wear jeans and jumpers even in 30 degree heat. I'm too insecure to put myself out there with dating. I even worry about going into the office as I worry that colleagues who only see me on video calls will be shocked that I'm fat, as my weight doesn't show in my face, if that makes sense.

Does anyone know if it's possible to stop comfort eating in the evenings? I don't drink alcohol so eating is my only vice. Every night at around 8-9pm I will eat sweets, chocolate and crisps. If I know that I don't have junk food stashed away to eat I will literally feel anxious.

I can sympathise as a fellow evening snacker and I know that feeling of anxiety.

You can learn to sit with the feeling of anxiety and acknowledge that it isn't nice, but also recognise that nothing bad is going to happen if you don't eat that biscuit in the next ten seconds. And then after ten seconds ask yourself if you really do want the biscuit. Maybe wait a minute before getting up and going to the biscuit tin.

The best thing is to not have crisps, chocolate and sweets in the house. Don't have them just in case visitors call, or for your kids or partner, just walk past that aisle in the supermarket. But then you need to replace them with something less fattening as it is very difficult to go cold turkey. Try plain ryvita type crackers, or plain, air popped popcorn so you still get the crunch but with fewer calories. I like marmite on ryvita as it gives you a real savoury hit.

If you are craving sweet things then make sure you are not actually thirsty. It can be tempting to say you can swap to fruit because it has fibre and vitamins and things, but you can easily eat loads of sugar that way. Chewing gum can also help, but be aware that if you have lots it can give you diarrhoea.

However, the best way I have found to combat evening snacking is to have something to do with my hands. Knitting, crochet and cross stitch are my preferred activities but you could try colouring in or word searches or a jigsaw or something.

Also, if you are craving sweet, energy dense foods later in the evening it can be becasue you are actually tired and your body is looking for energy. The best thing to do then is to go to bed.

It isn't easy OP, and I can still binge if I am feeling stressed, but it doesn't have to be a nightly habit.

You see that you have a problem, now you have to find the solution that works for you.
I can suggest looking at this,

And if you find it resonates watch more about carbs\food addiction\keto, Best of luck.

get up earlier and go to bed earlier so you miss that dangerous time of day.

Before you put it in your mouth, imagine that a dog had been sick on it

Fill up with water and healthy food like salad

forgo ALL sugary snacks - it takes time, but you do eventually lose the taste for them

Solution focused hypnotherapy might help you. It's helped me no end with my (different) problems. It's not for everyone, but for me it's excellent.

Also, if you are craving sweet, energy dense foods later in the evening it can be becasue you are actually tired and your body is looking for energy. The best thing to do then is to go to bed.

That makes so much sense. I'm actually quite embarrassed I didn't think it could be that

Sympathies.
Please don't worry about colleagues seeing you, I think everyone is surprised when they meet anyone, positively or negatively whom they have only ever seen online because camera is deceptive and people's minds fill the blanks however it is possible to know someone is carrying weight from their cheeks, neck and shoulders so your colleagues might know you're not slim anyway. They're more interested in your productivity at work rather than your size.

If you know you are overeating to deal with emotions then you need practical changes and long term work on dealing with your feelings. Therapy of various types, someone here said hypno and why not! CBT also helps for now but long term you could explore any childhood traumas with a trained therapist, things like not having your binge food at home, changing your life routine, learning new ways to deal with emotions, learning new ways to celebrate or find comfort. It will take a long time but you must keep trying to form new habits and deal with the root cause of your sadness, break that autopilot mode that makes you reach for food and train it to go for a run, meditate, work out, journal, make some art, dance to music, read a book or whatever that is a healthier way to deal with feelings than eating.

I’m naturally an evening snacker. I’m combating it by consciously substituting grapes for chocs and biscuits, and going to bed earlier.

Earlier bedtime is key. Less snacking time and more sleep - double win.

I felt like my full switch was broken, i'd eat but not get that satisfaction and just keep going. Had terrible cravings for sweet things, bread & crunchy junk like crisps. Turns out it was related to undiagnosed ADHD so its stimulation seeking/dopamine boosting. I think it's worse in the evenings as by then my brain is getting tired but as I have delayed circadian rhythm I rarely feel sleepy till about 1am and sometimes it's as I forget to eat properly in the daytime.

It definitely helps not to have the snacks in the house as more likely to decide not to bother if involves effort to go to the shop rather than the kitchen, though sometimes this wasn't enough of a barrier for me.

Before being medicated on vyvanse for ADHD which is also licensed for binge eating, I did find that rather focus on stopping eating if I exchanged for more healthy stimulation foods like crunchy salad items & humus it still helped satisfy that need but was lot more filling so I'd eat less calories.
Also look at what your eating in the day and whether you need more protein & veg to feel fuller. You may also be thirsty rather than hungry so having a drink may help, but sipping and slowing down so can process thoughts as often end up mindlessly shovelling food then fall into a negative spiral that you've already fucked up so eating more now won't matter, you'll do better tomorrow.

Sugar is addictive though and simple carbs quickly turn to glucose so end up with highs & lows rather than steady energy. I was surprised to find the cravings went & I felt full when I did a low carb meal replacement diet to lose the weight gain & was maintaining after with upped complex carbs & some fruit for ages, until I thought I could eat things I used to like baguettes, cake & cookies which soon snowballed and the sweet craving & binge eating would reoccur. I guess it's a bit like being an alcoholic.

Whatever people size or looks they all have perceived flaws they worry about and may believe others will see as hideous and yet most of the time we don't notice or think a lot about other people and when we do it's more often because they are wearing a nice outfit or have a friendly smile. What do you think when you see overweight people or those with acne, prominent nose etc?

Of course there are horrible people out there who are mean and may spot a weakness to bully but chances are they are also self conscious about something and feel inadequate.

It's hard to break the habit of evening snacking altogether, you could try this. Still have the chocolate or a couple of biscuits but plate them up. So a couple of biscuits or squares of chocolate on a plate, chop up an apple or banana and maybe add a couple of almond nuts. It will be more filling and nutritious but you are still getting the treat side of it.

Hi, help needed please, I'm binge eating in the evenings,biscuits,crisps,bread, mum diagnosed with alzheimers & I'm struggling with all the emotions of it. I've tried slimming world that wasn't for me, joined a gym just couldn't stay motivated as was seeing no changes to my body, enjoyed a keep fit class however looking after mum in the evenings has curtailed that. I'm getting bigger & bigger & it's depressing me even more
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated x

Do you have any hobbies that you’d be interested in taking up OP? Keeping yourself busy at the times you’re most likely to binge might help. It doesn’t have to be the gym (though they are generally welcoming of people of all sizes and fitness levels), it could be a language class, crafting, board games meet-ups.

I also agree that CBT or other therapy would be a good idea if the problem is nightly bingeing on junk food - there will be a big psychological element at play that a therapist can help you unpick and find ways to overcome.

Hi just read your post. I’m really sorry what you’re going through with your mum - I can relate ❤️

I can also relate with the binge eating

For 4 months from August - December in 2010 I lost 2 stone on a diet of 1250 cals a day and doing at least 1 form of exercise a day - be it swimming, a 30 min session on gym treadmill or exercise class.

i know that you said an exercise class isn’t feasibly but how about a 30 min jog or swim in the morning ?

Also - what about an exercise class on weekend days ?

Good luck OP - I felt so much better physically and psychologically - but I felt emotionally better towards the end of the 4 months - not so much at the beginning !!

FYI - I went down from

11 and a half stone to
9 and a half stone so this made a HUGE difference to me

FWIW I went to an aerobics class loved it

Also the jog and swim HAS to be at least 30 mins - imo any less is ineffective

good luck ❤️

I used to binge eat every day. I read a book about it and the one thing I found that really helped is to say to yourself that you give yourself permission to eat whatever you want, whenever you want. This is because as soon as we tell ourselves "no, I mustn't have that" we want it even more. If we give ourselves permission it no longer feels as desirable. It might take a bit of practice but it works for me