to still find this funny after 20-odd years?

[nietzscheanvibe]

Light-hearted.

I started thinking about this after reading the recent “snapped and farted” thread, which cracked me up - not the subject of the thread itself, just the initial typo - it almost had me in tears and I've laughed each time it has popped into my head over the past week or so. I’m aware that many posters didn’t find it funny at all - when I showed the post to DW she just sat stony-faced, which cracked me up even more.

Anyway… I remember reading a joke in a newspaper ‘daily diary’ type column around 20 years ago - it was a pun on the names of Star Trek actor William Shatner (Captain Kirk) and Fleetwood Mac singer Stevie Nicks, and it went like this: “If Stevie Nicks married William Shatner, would she be Stevie Shatner Nicks?” (stops typing to wipe away tears of laughter).

Now, I don’t think of it that often, but it does come to mind a couple of times a year, and it still creases me up every time (particularly when, on repeating it aloud, I get the same stony-faced response from DW each time). So, AIBU…

You are being unreasonable: get over it, stop torturing your poor DW with an old joke which wasn’t funny then, and isn’t funny now.

You are NOT being unreasonable: it’s funny, and laughter is good for the soul.

@MagpiePi we sang this as a skipping song where you had 2 people turning the rope
Our version was

Not last night but the night before
3 Tom cats came knocking at the door.
One wanted whisky
One wanted rum
And wanted a poker to poke ya up the bum!

Love remembering stuff like that

Also whoever posted the 'Ewar Woowar' joke. I love that one!

@SweetFemaleAttitude

Trevor and Simon were amazing, so so funny!
Me and DH (50+) often do the 'swing your pants' dance, often to the embarrassment/confusion of the kids. They still make me laugh now!🤣🤣

Three guys go for a walk in the woods and find a lamp

One of them picks it up, rubs it, and out pops a Genie.
It booms "You have finally freed me after all these years, so I'll grant each one of you 3 wishes." The first guy immediately blurts out "I want a billion dollars." POOF, he's holding a printout that shows his account balance is now in fact 1,000,000,003.50

The second man thinks for a bit, then says "I want to be the richest man alive." POOF, he's holding papers showing his net worth is now well over 100 billion.

The third guy thinks even longer about his wish, then says
"I want my left arm to rotate clockwise for the rest of my life." POOF, his arm starts rotating.

The Genie tells them it's time for their second wish.

First guy says: "I want to be married to the most beautiful woman on earth." POOF, a stunning beauty wraps herself around his arm.

Second guy says "I want to be good-looking and charismatic, so I can have every girl I want." POOF, his looks change and the first guy's wife immediately starts flirting with him.

Third guy says "I want my right arm to rotate counterclockwise until I die." POOF, now both his arms are rotating, in opposite directions.

The genie tells them to think very carefully about their third wish.

First guy does, and after a while says "I never want to become sick or injured, I want to stay healthy until I die." POOF, his complexion improves, his acne is gone and his knees don't bother him any more.

Second guy says "I never want to grow old. I want to stay 29 forever." POOF, he looks younger already.
Third guy smiles triumphantly and says "My last wish is for my head to nod back and forth." POOF, he's now nodding his head and still flailing his arms around.

The genie wishes them good luck, disappears, and the men soon go their separate ways.

Many years later they meet again and chat about how things have been going. First guy is ecstatic: "I've invested the money and multiplied it many times over, so me and my family will be among the richest of the rich pretty much forever. My wife is a freak in the sheets, and I've never gotten so much as a cold in all these years." Second guy smiles and says "Well, I built charities worldwide with a fraction of my wealth, l'm still the richest guy alive and also revered for my good deeds. I haven't aged a day since we last met, and yes, your wife is pretty wild in bed."

Third guy walks in, flailing his arms around and nodding his head, and says:

"Guys, I think I fucked up."

....@.....

What’s the name of the Scottish chef?
Dinner Ken.

🤔

It's still early... I don't get this

@CustardySergeant you have to read the thread (which is probably in classics) but it was basically a crazy troll who posted incomprehensible rambles every now and then. They weren’t deleted because they were inoffensive and clearly just done for entertainment. In the “snapped and farted” one, the OP was moaning about her partner and an argument they were having. She said she “snapped” , meaning that she lost her temper, and up until that point it was a normal post. But then she said “and farted”, and it made no sense. People kept asking what she meant , if it was a typo etc. OP said she had IBS at some point, but basically she just continued incomprehensible posts, until everyone realised the whole thing was a bit of a joke.

I didn't get the "Depardieu" one at first either, and then I pronounced it like this and... 😂😂😂

😂

Yes @CustardySergeant, as @MumblesParty says, “snapped” simply meant “lost my temper”; it’s that point in a situation when patience and logic fail and you finally “lose it”. For example: “For 6 months I politely asked DH if he could please put the dishes in the dishwasher and not leave them on top, but this morning I finally snapped and LTB”. 😁

The reason I found ”snapped and farted” funny (and still do, despite now knowing it was a troll) is that it kinda resembles the more colloquial “I lost my shit” and I think on the original thread some folk wondered initially if it might actually be a version of that, or something similar. I’ll certainly be using it as such as soon as the opportunity presents itself.

😂

I don't know why this has stayed with me and i still laugh about it, but,
On learning that he was going to jail, my brother ran around the room, smashed up his house and smeared shit on the walls, that's the last time time we play monopoly with him.

I watched the film Arthur last night, he bursts out laughing and then says "sometimes I just think funny things" - this thread reminds me of that 🤣

The funniest thread title I saw was “AIBu to think the estate agent’s screwing my mother?”

I don’t get the Depardieu one? Can you please explain it to me 🤦‍♀️

I don’t get this? Depardieu is pronounced Day-par-dew (with less emphasis on the “dew”)
How does it become Doopy Do?

@InsolentNoise as PP pointed out, "Whoopi Depardieu" sounds a bit like "Whoopi Doopy Doo". It's completely inane, a bit silly, and hilarious I think.

"Guys, I think I fucked up."

Again, completely silly, but hilarious, especially after the lengthy preamble 😂

I read this at 11.13, and I'm fucked if I get it either. 😕

Whoopie Cushing!

I've heard most of them before, but that made me giggle.

@InsolentNoise you're right, it shouldn't work, but it does - in the same way that "Fork Handles" doesn't really sound like "Four Candles" 😀 (The Two Ronnies, for those under 55).

@UnctuousUnicorns I'm glad it's not just me

Of course fork handles sounds like four candles....and was funny.

Depends on the regional accent, I suppose @Idontjetwashthefucker and not if you enunciate properly. In a Glaswegian accent, for example, "fork" sounds nothing like "four" (more like Stork v Boar).🙂