Ex using my DC's name for baby

[InnerSpace6363]

My ex has just had a baby with his partner. The baby has been given the exact same name as my DC who he very much knew. It's not a common name, I wouldn't bat an eye if it was. It feels a bit weird but I can't put my finger on why.

Am I being daft or would you think it strange?

This is going to very much depend on the name

I wouldn't give a crap, tbh. Is it a common name, though?

You aren't together. Its a nice name

Can you clarify?

Is your child shared with your ex?
If it's your child from previous relationship, do you and ex have any shared children.

If the first, yes that wacky. His two children have the same name.

If the latter then your shared child will have two half siblings if the same name, still wacky but not as bad.

If you have no shared children then yes it's weird but not your monkeys any more.

I don't want to say exactly what it is but it's on par with names like Augustus, Lancelot etc. It's very old fashioned and not at all commonly used these days.

Does his partner know you have used the name already?

I think this is a bit weird even if it's a common name unless there's some family-related reason that the partner has chosen the way.

No shared children at all but he knows my DC very well.

I have no idea I don't know her personally, probably not though.

Ah possibly, I didnt think of that!

As the child who already has the name isn't related to the two people who have chosen the name, it's not an issue really, is it?
You say he "knew" them. He's your ex, not their father.
As time goes on, his small relevance as someone their mother used to be with, will be less and less.

I think that if you had kids together this would be very weird - your joint kids would have two half brothers who are both called Ebenzer.

Otherwise I would just see it as a lack of originality. I’d be quite upset if I was the new partner though and discovered years later that my child was basically named after my partner’s step child so hopefully she knows. (And she chose the name due to having a beloved Uncle Ebenezer!)

That's a fair point.

It would be odd if you had shared children, but it sounds like you didn’t have any children with your ex husband? If that’s the case I don’t find it weird, especially if you don’t socialise together. If I really liked a name I wouldn’t not use it just because an ex of mine had used it for their children. They’re hardly likely to hang out together when they get older either.

Presuming neither you, nor your children, have any contact with your ex anymore- why does it matter? He obviously just liked the name!

Given that you don't have kids together, and are not still in a relationship with him, it's fine. Even if your child's name did give him a bit of inspiration, I don't think it's an issue. I gave my child a name that a former acquaintance had - it was nothing to do with the acquaintance, and everything to do with it being a lovely name.

Basically, his ex had a kid that has the same name as his. His new partner chose their kid's name as she likes it.
It's nothing more than a coincidence really that won't matter one jot in the future. It's clearly a nice name, maybe you'll find it popping up all over the place?

It is a compliment. I would only use a name of someone I knew if I liked the person and was happy to be reminded of them.

Then unless it's a family name then I do think it's a tad odd but they both would have had to agree on it and they probably just liked it