Any midwives who have left the profession. Do you regret leaving?

[86434h]

I’m really struggling with work, have been a midwife for a few years having previously worked as a nurse (I’m still registered as a nurse as do occasional bank shifts). I struggled during my training due to personality classes with one of my mentors (she didn’t feel nurses should be able to do a short course conversion into midwifery) and had a lot going on my personal life. I started work and found it just a very toxic environment with lots of low level bullying. I’m at the point now where I’ve just had enough and it is seriously impacting on my mental health. I was so proud to complete my training and looking forward to what I thought would be a rewarding career. But, I’m scared that I’ll regret giving up my registration. I just wondered whether there are any dual trained nurses out there who have gone back to nursing and do you regret losing your midwifery registration? I know there’s the option of bank once a month but I know I’ll just not want to go back to somewhere that’s going to break me down.

When I left someone once said

“leaving midwifery is like leaving an abusive relationship”

I went on to a related career but it’s taken a long time (and therapy) to get over my midwifery years!

My situation isn’t exactly similar but I can sympathise with the dilemma.

I’ve been a nurse for 17 years but last August I handed in my resignation because my job pretty much broke me - it caused a deterioration in my health that led to me ending up in a hospital bed and that’s when I knew enough was enough. I’d been pushing myself for years and years whilst fighting against management and NHS politics and I was just done.

I havent worked in a nursing role since and have absolutely no desire to return to the NHS. I miss my job dreadfully but I just can’t do it anymore.

I’m retraining for another role now that although remains within the bounds of healthcare, I don’t require a nursing qualification to do it.

However, my revaluation is due this October and I feel so torn as to what to do. Getting my degree was hard work and after 17 years of working in the profession it seems like such a big leap to let my registration lapse, but at the same time I can’t ever imagine going back to nursing.

I know a lot of midwives who have left the profession because of how utterly broken the system is so I know that breaking points are easily reached these days.

People keep telling me that it’s easy to let my registration lapse but it will be very, very difficult to get it back again, which is true and something I (and you) need to seriously consider. Although in your situation you will still have your nursing qualification to fall back on.

I think I will re-validate this time round as then I’ve got a lot more thinking time to decide what my final decision will be about maintaining my registration. Forfeiting a registration is a big decision to make and so it’s one I want to make with some clarity rather than one that’s based on a recent bad episode.

I'm not a midwife but I just wanted to comment that I'm so sorry you all have been treated this way. I had a twin neonatal death last year and I couldn't have survived those few days in hospital without some of the midwives who cared for me and at the time one of my twins who was still fighting. I came away with a greater appreciation for the work you do. I hope you all know that.

@Kidsaregrim it does feel like an abusive relationship, it’s just such a huge step to take.

@ExcitedButNervous0424 thank you, I think you’ve beautifully summed up my dilemma.

@Ella31 i’m so sorry for what you’ve gone through, I’m grad you were happy with the care. This is what makes me so torn as I know I have been there for women to support them and advocate for them in really difficult circumstances xx

I think you have to do what is right for you. The fact that you and others have highlighted it as abusive says a lot. You need to protect yourself and your own mental health too. As I said I'm only a patient but my mother is a retired nurse so I know the toll it takes.

I just hope you know your value. The patients do.

I am a nurse that was on a midwife course but I quit before qualifying due to a bullying mentor, so you did well to qualify. I’ve gone back to nursing although I’m now in out patients instead of acute. So far I’m really enjoying it, the nursing world is much larger with more options than midwifery.

OP is it purely because of the culture of the trust you work at? I am a midwife and can say hand on heart I love my job, and work with the best bunch of lovely, supportive, caring midwives you could wish for. There’s the same problems that exist throughout the nhs but I feel like my colleagues are like a work family and I can’t imagine leaving.
If you love being a midwife then would it be work moving to another trust and seeing if this changes things? Or even a different area of practice (antenatal clinic, community midwife, continuity team?) x

I have a dual-registered friend who moved from hospital to community and is much happier. Like many underpaid professions though, I imagine it's your colleagues who generally make it tolerable. I'm sorry to hear your experience hasn't been like that and genuinely don't understand why in a tough environment colleagues aren't more supportive towards each other.

I have been a midwife for over 15 years and am considering resigning. I do have a passion for my job and I'm proud of my profession but the working conditions are sometimes just too much for my mental health to handle.
I often work over my hours without pay and have experienced some traumatic events over the course of my career. I also feel torn between my ability to practice safely (e.g. I have been required to work over a 26 hour shift in the past due to being on call) and upholding my duty of care and contract to my employer.
My partner owns their own company and has offered me a job working for them.
I guess I'm here to ask the same question as the original poster.