Man flu? | Mumsnet

KeyboardWhinger · 2024-04-28T06:50:26+00:00

Do men actually suffer more or is it just an illusion? I had a bug this week, started last Sunday. Felt lethargic, congested, had a cough, a temperature. DH works away and/or long hours so I just had to get on with it. No help with the kids at all. I didn’t go to the gym or exercise and got a takeaway one night for the kids. I was tempted to take sick leave but couldn’t as 1) had a lot on and 2) had a bout of D&V about 6 weeks ago and felt I couldn’t take more leave. I was going to bed with the kids at 7.30 each night. Anyway, I had to suck it up. DH now has it. He spent ALL yesterday afternoon in bed, has announced he is so ill again today and doesn’t think he’ll be able to work tomorrow. So annoying isn’t it when you don’t get any slack yourself then watch someone else wallow in misery…!

chaticat · 28/04/2024 20:39

Yeah it's annoying when they get it 2nd and start saying oh I didn't realise it was THIS bad

littlecats · 28/04/2024 20:41

My husband tells me that there have been scientific reports to show that men suffer more than women. He had not been able to show me the evidence and I can’t fathom how they would test this. Men definitely complain more than women and are better at putting themselves as a priority.

User1979289 · 28/04/2024 20:43

Narcissism and male entitlement.

Original poster

KeyboardWhinger · 28/04/2024 20:45

littlecats · 28/04/2024 20:41

My husband tells me that there have been scientific reports to show that men suffer more than women. He had not been able to show me the evidence and I can’t fathom how they would test this. Men definitely complain more than women and are better at putting themselves as a priority.

I think “putting themselves as a priority” sums it up perfectly.

When I was ill my support was a “I hope you feel better soon” over the phone between DH’s other more important calls.

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TeenLifeMum · 28/04/2024 20:49

having spent the weekend resting because I’m ill while dh rushed around getting dc to various places, this isn’t the case in our house. I’m not very good at being a martyr, although tomorrow I do have to go to work otherwise I’ll seriously let people down because I have a deadline and I’m to senior to put that on someone else. I will come home and collapse though.

chaticat · 28/04/2024 20:50

I got ONE whole day of him looking after the LO and being nice then today he expects me to be back to normal as he did a lot yesterday

Original poster

KeyboardWhinger · 28/04/2024 20:54

TeenLifeMum · 28/04/2024 20:49

having spent the weekend resting because I’m ill while dh rushed around getting dc to various places, this isn’t the case in our house. I’m not very good at being a martyr, although tomorrow I do have to go to work otherwise I’ll seriously let people down because I have a deadline and I’m to senior to put that on someone else. I will come home and collapse though.

I’d rather not be a martyr either but DH was literally not present in our household for the duration of week and made no attempt to finish early or support me.

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QueSyrahSyrah · 28/04/2024 20:56

Well it's often half 'men making themselves a priority' and half 'women making martyrs of themselves'. Having been off sick 6 weeks ago with a genuine illness is no reason to struggle on if you're genuinely ill again, so while it wouldn't have magically brought your DH home to support you, you should have called in sick in order to rest if you felt too ill to work.

Original poster

KeyboardWhinger · 28/04/2024 21:01

QueSyrahSyrah · 28/04/2024 20:56

Well it's often half 'men making themselves a priority' and half 'women making martyrs of themselves'. Having been off sick 6 weeks ago with a genuine illness is no reason to struggle on if you're genuinely ill again, so while it wouldn't have magically brought your DH home to support you, you should have called in sick in order to rest if you felt too ill to work.

Yes maybe. My point was more that the illness wasn’t so severe it warranted being off whereas it rendered DH incapacitated.

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Original poster

KeyboardWhinger · 28/04/2024 21:03

@CheeseWisely i think it runs deeper than that too as when you’re the one who deals with ALL the DC sickness it makes it much harder to take time for your own. So when I had d&V I did log on in the afternoon, part of me was thinking I’m going to have to have some time off with DC when they get this. That DH doesn’t have to deal with that. His time off is his own.

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maras2 · 28/04/2024 21:08

When he struggles out of his sick bed, will he wear the 'DRESSING GOWN OF DOOM' ?
Hope I'm the first to suggest this ( but feeling that I'm not) 😂

Original poster

KeyboardWhinger · 28/04/2024 21:10

maras2 · 28/04/2024 21:08

When he struggles out of his sick bed, will he wear the 'DRESSING GOWN OF DOOM' ?
Hope I'm the first to suggest this ( but feeling that I'm not) 😂

He did emerge with his dressing gown!

I thought he had gone out! After about 4 hours my DC said his car is on the drive 😂

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makeanddo · 28/04/2024 21:18

To all those posters saying women are often 'martyrs', I am wondering what exactly they are supposed to do when either the men aren't physically there or they just leave the house despite knowing how ill you are.

Many many men just put themselves first knowing that women will never let their children suffer. i will never forgive my DP for the multiple times he let me and his children down. If he's ill now he's on his own.

TeenLifeMum · 28/04/2024 21:43

KeyboardWhinger · 28/04/2024 20:54

I’d rather not be a martyr either but DH was literally not present in our household for the duration of week and made no attempt to finish early or support me.

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The benefit of dh working from home… although he did come to the kitchen yesterday and say “oh I was going to cook dinner…” I prefer to cook dinner before dc bedtime 🙈 so had just cracked on (but he’d done all the washing etc so I didn’t complain, and I was feeling a bit better by then).