To have found my first mammogram really upsetting?

[YompingJo]

Got a letter through with very basic details if an appointment. Turned up and found the whole thing demeaning. Tiny room, intimidating machine taking up most of it. The radiologist was monosyllabic and bossy and manhandled me into the right position including grabbing each breast and shoving it into position, pushing other bits of my body out of the way, not once asking first. I know it's a necessary procedure, but a bit of sensitivity would have gone a long way, and having the respect to ask for consent before grabbing a breast is a basic consideration. I'm autistic and needed to know much more what to expect beforehand. The letter gave a way to request assistance in the case of SEN, but I don't consider myself to have SEN and didn't know what I'd need until I was right there, so that wasn't any help. There was a QR code for feedback, which I gave but I just feel... invaded and demeaned. AIBU?

I am surprised you have never heard other women complaining how uncomfortable mammograms are? But they are a necessary evil that potentially save many lives . It’s a shame you had an unfriendly operator. I have always found them to be very pleasant. I am certain treatment for breast cancer would be much worse. Just put it down to experience OP and ask for assistance next time.

AIBU wasn't the best place for this, there's always someone wanting to put the boot in, some of these replies are shocking.

Op, I'm sorry that was your experience. Your autism is a red herring really, as you cope well normally with hospital appointments and quite frankly a lot of NT people would be upset to be manhandled without consent. I had a few mammograms, I've always been asked before they handle my breasts. Consent should be at the heart of every intimate procedure. I'm sorry some people here have not had that and seem desensitised to poor care.

I've had different intimate procedure where I was treated in a similar way and despite being a "veteran", I was upset and did complain. My complaint was taken seriously.

Really?, you have your nipples crushed in that machine? I am large and have never come across this. Sounds excruciating.

I'm coming up to the age when I'll be called for a mammogram and whilst I'll do some research I would have responded the same as you OP. I've found lots of my interactions with the NHS a bit like this- slightly dehumanising and a lack of explanation. I work with people in my role, some of whom are vulnerable and I wouldn't dream of treating them with the utmost respect, even when I have high case loads etc.

I don't blame you for giving feedback, we all have a right to be treated respectfully

I've had quite a few mammograms over the years and thankfully only once encountered a nasty woman who pushed, pulled, tutted and eye rolled.
I wasn't the only one in the waiting room who was upset by her.
The procedure has improved too, no longer does the plate squash you front on so you feel like your breasts are going to explode through your back while you gasp for breath.
On the plus side, it gives me a warm glow knowing that some men have to go through the procedure on their manhood.
I don't think my partner has ever fully recovered from that procedure 🤭
Look at it this way op, as distressing as you may have found it, at least you know what to expect for next time.

@saraclara
Ever heard what a prostate examination involves?

If you can think of a less intrusive method than an internal examination why not suggest it? Its no different from a Pap test, or a colonoscopy.

I had my first one last month and I found it very unpleasant too. I didn't realise it would be so hands on and uncomfortable. The radiographer who did mine was very nice though and explained everything and talked through it. I couldn't have contorted myself into the machine without her helping.

No no no to the people who constantly on NHS columns give 'you ought to be grateful' as a retort to complaints about unprofessional discourteous behaviour by medical staff. I say this as a family member of nhs medics and work myself in another highly pressured profession.

It is not acceptable and it is profoundly short sighted for many reasons. Here's just two. First it strongly discourages some people from seeking medical assistance for anything and they live less well therefore or even die prematurely. Second, GP acquaintances of mine are genuinely worried ( notwithstanding their exhaustion) that so many better off people are effectively now opting out of the NHS as much as they can not only just to access timely treatment but because they get to choose a consultant etc who will treat them with basic courtesy. If a significant and powerful minority opt out, will nhs spending be a priority?

Mammograms are not compulsory, in spite of what so many people say. Just ask for a copy of the spot out form, fill it in and return it, and then you will be taken off the list. Screening has risks, and is not an essential.

I’m sorry you had a poor experience. Fortunately I’ve had better experiences and the radiologists have been pleasant and polite.

I was simply responding to the trope that 'men don't have to go through these things'. But men have their private parts handled and painfully so, too. There is no dignity for either sex when it comes to testing or treating private areas of the body.

That sounds very unpleasant, OP, I'm sure most women would find that experience upsetting.

Can't believe the number of "be grateful, you idiot" posts are on here. And the side helpings of "I managed to be grateful because cancer/ the developing world". Complete lack of empathy.

Just a couple of sentences about you are going to/ then I will/ this may be uncomfortable/ we need your breast in the right position is really not very hard. Telling OP to "use her words", but not expecting the qualified medical professional to bother are showing more than a tiny bit of contempt to ND women.

I'm so surprised by many of these responses I've gone back and reread the OP. No you can't clearly complain the procedure itself is uncomfortable but I absolutely wouldn't be happy with a bossy, monosyllabic radiographer. I'm certain that wouldn't be acceptable when they trained for the job so why should it be in reality? It doesn't matter if she's already seen 40 patients and it doesn't matter if she wasn't all warm and fuzzy but very basic manners should be expected, regardless of how grateful or not we should be for screening.

The person performing the scan sounded most unpleasant and unprofessional. I've had all manner of invasive testings done and they always explain what they are going to do first and then ask your permission. I'd provide feedback to the service about the persons manner.

What??

This!
if we remember we pay our taxes and elect our politicians who run the nhs then we may take a different attitude.

OP, I was surprised at the vote split. A definite YANBU from me. Yes you know what you’re there for, yes you needed more detail and yes you could have asked for help but also the person at the appointment could have been a bit more vocal and supportive.

OP: i think you’ve had some harsh responses on here. I found my first mammogram hard too: for some reason I didn’t think to google but expected the machine to be chest shaped so you could walk into it or something. I’ve been lucky to have relatively little medical treatment over my life and the idea that a scan would be so painful or involve so much ‘work’ didn’t occur to me. I was lucky to have a kind mammographer who talked me through everything but Ofc if your job is moving women’s boobs about it becomes normal, so I think they sometimes forget how incredibly personal and intimate it is especially on the first time. I assume no info is provided as it might put people off but actually I think a picture walk through included in the letter of what to expect would help lots of people (ime anything that makes it better for people with access needs nearly always helps everyone!)

Also those saying ‘just ask’ have a) a poor understanding of the impact of the power dynamic set up between a medical professional and a patient b) autism (one core diagnostic criteria is challenges in communication, this is not a realistic expectation)

It seems to me that you had an expectation of what would happen and the reality didn't match it. Nothing you've said really suggests anything bad happened to you. Being intimidated by the room and machine isn't a fault of the staff.

Radiographers don't have time for chit chat and they have to be very direct with instructions.

you do realise most women in the world dont get this opportunity to catch a deadly disease when it is still at an early stage and can be treated?

We are phenomenally lucky - people seem to lose sight of that

The lack of empathy on this thread astounds me. I'm so sorry you experienced this mammogram conducted in such a disrespectful and unprofessional manner.

There should always be consent in a procedure like this. Not just for people with SEN but for people with a history of CSA or rape who are unlikely to mention this and will find their ptsd triggered by these procedures.

This is not how mammograms should be conducted or the norm. You have every right to be upset. Yes it's a privilege to have one free of charge but no one should touch you without consent - it's pretty basic to say 'I'm going to need to touch you like this or adjust your position like this, is that ok' before doing it.

I had a similar experience. The discomfort of the mammogram itself is something to be tolerated, but the whole experience was awful. I had orders barked at me and an incredibly unfriendly woman doing the procedure.

I'm due to have my first one next week, so thanks for the warning, op. Not being sarcastic - I really didn't know. I'll brace myself.

Surely the radiographer is going to be a bit bossy?! They need to position you to get the picture. It does involve a bit of man-handling. She can’t ask for consent for each prod and push, that would take ages. It’s a medical procedure by a medical professional. Fair enough they shouldn’t be rude (and I didn’t see anything in your op that suggested she was) but some people really are overly sensitive. If you need extra time or adjustments to the process ask for it.

I'm a Radiographer (although not a mammographer), please feedback to the department how you feel. The mammographer should have explained what she was going to do at each step as a basic courtesy, whether you are autistic or not, it's basic patient care.
Sorry you felt man handled and rushed.