To have found my first mammogram really upsetting?

[YompingJo]

Got a letter through with very basic details if an appointment. Turned up and found the whole thing demeaning. Tiny room, intimidating machine taking up most of it. The radiologist was monosyllabic and bossy and manhandled me into the right position including grabbing each breast and shoving it into position, pushing other bits of my body out of the way, not once asking first. I know it's a necessary procedure, but a bit of sensitivity would have gone a long way, and having the respect to ask for consent before grabbing a breast is a basic consideration. I'm autistic and needed to know much more what to expect beforehand. The letter gave a way to request assistance in the case of SEN, but I don't consider myself to have SEN and didn't know what I'd need until I was right there, so that wasn't any help. There was a QR code for feedback, which I gave but I just feel... invaded and demeaned. AIBU?

@PleaseletitbeSpring where did you have your private scan done? Had my first nhs mammogram last year and it was such an awful experience that I felt completely violated!

Nobody's asking for 'warm and fuzzy'. Just a basic level of common decency. Why do people always have to resort to 'extremes'?

We all know mammograms are physically uncomfortable. That's not what's being discussed here. We're discussing how OP felt mentally uncomfortable about the procedure because of the person doing it.

Yet the tone of this thread is overwhelming: 'Put your big girl pants on and suck it up!'

Whatever happened to having a little compassion? Jeez...

How would you describe using enough force to break the skin then?

If someone says they were grabbed, they were grabbed. No one needs you to tell them they're making it up. What part of the sisterhood included gaslighting other women?

Firstly, telling someone to 'stop being a baby' is not OK. Also:

The discomfort and vulnerability you feel at the mammogram pales into comparison when you’re called back for biopsy and find yourself sitting across the room from someone telling you that you have cancer.

You're assuming they ARE going to be told they have cancer? When there's every chance (fingers crossed!), they might not.

Regardless, women ARE allowed to feel uncomfortable about a procedure involving an intimate part of their body.

That so many posters seem unable to grasp this, is frankly mind-blowing.

So I have to believe every woman, just because she's a woman? Oddly enough, during my life so far, I've come across women who exaggerate (and women who blatantly lie). In fact I've come across quite a few of them.

I'd like to believe every woman (and every man, come to that) and I won't be told that 'sisterhood' involves pretending that every other women is perfect, and that it obliges me to believe every woman, whatever she says.

You don't have to go around accusing women of lying about being injured during a medical procedure either, do you?

I've not accused anyone of lying about being injured. Who are we talking about here? I'm simply pointing out that there's a lot of dramatic language going on throughout this thread. I suspect that some of it is exaggerated, and is putting women off going to have their breasts checked.
If the sisterhood has a positive role, it might well be about when encouraging other women to look after their health. Not an obligation to believe every woman, just because she's a woman.

Then again, how would you describe the force used if grabbing is dramatic? Given that the amount of force was enough to draw blood in more than one account.

Personally, I don't think it's my place to tell others that their version of events is incorrect when I wasn't even there. But perhaps you can give us your superior knowledge here.

So you’ve no reason to disbelieve her, but then tell her you disbelieve her?? Rude.

It’s invasive and not a nice procedure for anyone; a lot of medical investigations are this way and a bit of an unknown how you will experience it and that can also vary on the day.

For example I recently went through the same procedure a few weeks apart - although carried out in the exact same way by the exact same person, due to my own body it was very painful throughout one time and only had one moment of discomfort the other.

There is an implied consent by participating in the procedure, but kindness and sensitivity on the part of the person carrying out these investigations do go a long way. The feedback you did is good, the patient advocacy liaison (PALS) service could also help. Do you have anyone who supports you who you could debrief the experience with?

Nurses don’t do mammograms, the health professionals are radiographers.

I've had a few mammograms and a couple of them were with staff who were cold and rough. I had breast pain afterwards for a couple of months on these two occasions and thought twice about having subsequent scans.

OP don't listen to people who say you are just lucky to get this screening. You deserve kindness and humanity too for this procedure.

Into cubicle, undressed to the waist, walked into the next room topless.

And to clarify, there was nothing sent to me with the letter - no leaflets or anything.

And I'm not expecting a request for consent every time she touched my breasts, that would clearly be ridiculous. But the first time she did it, yes, I would have expected a request and an explanation. And some reassuring niceties, like "we just need to turn you this way" and "I'm just going to move your stomach out of the way so we get a better image - don't worry, most people need this". Instead I had orders barked at me ("move back. Back. Back!") These considerations wouldn't make the appt take any longer but would make it 100% more bearable.

It's all very wet supporting the sisterhood, but not by lying!
It's obvious that some people have had bad experiences - I don't think there is harm in telling others that this can happen. At least they are fully warned, because you obviously can't rely on the professionals.
I read everything I was directed too - I assumed I was fully informed. I have been in the past with NHS thing's. I wasn't this time - how was I supposed to know I should hunt down videos on YouTube. A place where the accuracy of information can be dubious to say the least.
My radiographer knew it was my first time but explained nothing.
And yes, she did grab my boobs and push and pull other parts of me without any warning.
And yes, I had to remove my clothes in the same room, in front of her, dump stuff on a chair. No gown was provided and I did feel incredibly vulnerable

Some women don't believe the impact heavy periods, or period pain can have on others, just because they don't have a problem. Some women think others are making a fuss about pregnancy a labour just because they didn't experience HG, a 30 hour labour, an assisted birth, an episiotomy, a tear etc.

Surely the sisterhood should be about believing and supporting rather than demanding a cover up?

@YompingJo your radiographer sounds exactly like the one I had. I hope we get one of the more friendly ones next time.

OP, please don't feel you have to explain.

I actually think what you describe is fairly common, despite what some posters on here might believe - or indeed want you to believe.
All this talk of 'these negative posts will put women off going for the procedure' is nonsense. That's not what will put women off. No... what will put women off having mammograms is not being treated with dignity and respect by healthcare professionals during what is a very intimate procedure.
Women aren't 'out of order' for simply stating facts.
I'm sorry you were treated this way. I guess all you can do now, is use this experience to pre-empt such treatment going forward to ensure it's not repeated at future mammograms.

How do you think a woman would do differently? They need to get a thin slice through the breast. How else can that be achieved?

If you turn up to an appt for a mammogram, I think consent is implied. I mean, it goes with the territory. They have to get the boob squeezed as thin as possible and you can't do that yourself, it needs the operator to move all sorts of things - your feet, your boob, the plates, the scanner, your arms, your hips.

What a fucking vile comment. You awful person.

In what way was the OP 'fortunate' to be grabbed in an insensitive way without being asked if it was ok? I don't think telling someone to be grateful for being made to feel uncomfortable at such an appointment is helpful at all.
Yes we women in the UK are very lucky to be offered this service however, that doesn't mean we have to be manhandled or disrespected or made to feel 'invaded'. There are ways & means of doing things & the Person doing the scan should have explained what they were about to do & ask if OP was ok with it before going ahead.

And to clarify, there was nothing sent to me with the letter - no leaflets or anything.

The leaflets our Health Authority send out are very informative indeed. Not just for this type of procedure either.

Not your responsibility I know, but if someone comes back to you to discuss your experience, it might be worth suggesting that they do send out leaflets. If not for everyone, as I understand it costs money and there may be different priorities, then maybe for people attending their first examination.

It really sounds dreadful. I absolutely believe you that it wasn't conducted with the level of professionalism it should have been. Barking orders at you is not on.

This. ^

Agree with this too! ^

I agree. Shame on you @Sapphireblueeyes