To have found my first mammogram really upsetting?

[YompingJo]

Got a letter through with very basic details if an appointment. Turned up and found the whole thing demeaning. Tiny room, intimidating machine taking up most of it. The radiologist was monosyllabic and bossy and manhandled me into the right position including grabbing each breast and shoving it into position, pushing other bits of my body out of the way, not once asking first. I know it's a necessary procedure, but a bit of sensitivity would have gone a long way, and having the respect to ask for consent before grabbing a breast is a basic consideration. I'm autistic and needed to know much more what to expect beforehand. The letter gave a way to request assistance in the case of SEN, but I don't consider myself to have SEN and didn't know what I'd need until I was right there, so that wasn't any help. There was a QR code for feedback, which I gave but I just feel... invaded and demeaned. AIBU?

@ifIwerenotanandroid

Like other posters, I have had many mammograms and never once has anyone asked for my consent before touching me and manipulating my breasts into the correct position. Agreeing to the appointment and turning up is you giving consent.

Surely this is not always the case? With other procedures I've definitely been asked for consent. Turning up wasn't enough!

Was referring to mammograms only, although that said, have had countless ultrasounds (on my breasts) and I don't think any radiologist has ever asked for my consent before touching me. In fact, I was measured (and marked up) for radiotherapy just a week ago, and again, I wasn't asked to consent before being touched.

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I'm willing to cut the OP some slack on this. I'm surprised others aren't.

No, am not. Am not sorry about this. People are not mind readers. OP is not a child, she should have said something. Even so, I do not condone the clinician's abrupt treatment, but if the OP would have said - 'go slow, this is my first mammogram', I have no doubt things would have proceeded differently.

@Marinade

"Wow, you reduced someone who was not chatty enough for you to being an arsehole? You sound nice..."

Did you read my post?

"Light hearted chit-chat was met with stony silence"

... for context, "it's lovely and sunny outside" silence "ooh, I'm a bit nervous" silence

She (literally) said 3 words to me during the whole procedure "Stand over here"

I like the quiet, efficient approach too. I'd find it really annoying if medical professionals asked for consent every time they needed to touch me.

Consent ? FFS surely by the very fact you have turned up for your potentially life saving mammogram means you give consent. No, It is not a nice way to spend 10 minutes every couple of years but bloody hell, just take a deep breath and get on with it. Do you really thing these nurses have time to ask for consent every time they have to touch you in the space of 10 minutes ?

The OP should not have been manhandled without some due care and consideration, it’s called a bedside manner, or being courteous/polite.

I know what to expect from a smear, it still means that I expect the nurse to say what’s she’s doing and not just shove the speculum up my fanjo without prior warning!

@doublec My very best wishes for your radiotherapy.

I did read your post. I still don't feel it rises to the level of them being an awful person or an arsehole though. They might have been having a bad day themselves or had received some bad news, people arent machines.

My first one was like that as well OP , like you I was confident and relaxed walking in knowing exactly what was going to happen etc. I was pleasant and friendly to the two women running it when I arrived on time for my appointment, they were surly, rough and grumpy in return, tutting and stomping around the mobile unit. The next one was similar affair as I had the same two women , but my last one during covid was brilliant they put me at ease and both of them were really friendly it was like night and day. I'm due another some time this year and I'm hoping the two surly moos have retired by now

The commenters on here are ablist as fuck 🤬

OP consented to a mammogram, she did not consent to have strangers laying their hands on her breasts!!!

How exactly do you get a mammo without strangers laying their hands on your breasts? By telepathy?

Hi OP,

I am really sorry to hear about your experience. My mother experienced the same treatment, she was shoved around. We made an official complaint. For those telling OP to ask for help next time- yes she should if she wants to be but there is a bigger problem here! No healthcare worker should be treating anyone poorly- they should be respectful. It is unacceptable to be treated in such way.

They have no right to manhandle a patient.

It’s typically part of the procedure @SwordToFlamethrower A quick Google shows images and videos of mammographers doing this.

I think it makes all the difference if the person is kind and understanding. As an absolute minimum they need to ask before they touch you. I would complain. It is not good enough.

I had one and while not pleasant, the person was polite, respectful, explained things, warned when it was likely to hurt, made Smalltalk to lighten the mood. That is how it should be.

You are wrong, they are supposed to ask for consent. Turning up to an appointment does not imply consent. It takes a matter of a few seconds to ask for consent. There is enough time allowed within the appointment for this as it is part of the procedure. The person doing the mammogram is a qualified professional and they know this. If they can't be bothered to do their job, for whatever reason, they shouldn't be there.

Consent just means they ask is it ok to touch you. Not a signature on a form. I'd be very surprised if they didn't ask. Anyway that doesn't make it ok. It is not up to the patient to remind the professional how to do their job

The term SEN encompasses all ND conditions. It doesn’t mean that you struggle with education in the same way that a person with dyslexia might.

You're not being unreasonable, at all. I had a mastectomy in 2018 and still have an annual mammogram on my remaining breast. I had to feed back the attitude of the mammographer last year, because I found her attitude to be similar to what you'd experienced and it was awful. Turns out she'd had several similar complaints.

When you go for a mammogram, you're vulnerable. The mammographer should explain every single thing that they're doing and make the experience as comfortable as possible.

And my last one a fortnight ago bloody hurt, possibly because of the stage of my cycle I was at.

You know what's even more upsetting? Being told you have breast cancer after having had a mammogram.

Mammograms save lives, and it's far preferable to have a slightly unpleasant experience for five minutes, and then go about your life as normal, than to have to deal with years of horrible cancer treatment following the results of said mammogram, regardless of the technician's technique.

Not all people with a diagnosis have SEN though. Even at a school level, the SEND Code of Practice is based on need not diagnosis. It is really not unusual to have children in the school with autism who are not on the SEND register.

What is upsetting is the minimising the upset OP has experienced with the whole 'cancer is worse' thing. Of course it is, but OP could now potentially be put off having further mammograms as a result of her experience.

Imagine going through breast cancer treatment and being treated the same as OP was during her mammogram. No consent sought, no explaining or reassurance. Just being man-handled and grunted at. I bet if that was a AIBU, all comments would be people in uproar.

I found out a had DCIS after one, and needed to lose the breast.

I can still sympathise with the OP though.

OP could now potentially be put off having further mammograms as a result of her experience.

Equally, the OP could put someone off having a much needed mammogram, and their breast cancer goes undiagnosed.