Expecting more from siblings when parent is dying.

[Workinglatecosimasingerrr]

Not sure if the worry and stress is getting to me, but I’m feeling sad and baffled by my siblings. One of our parents is dying, though prognosis is not very clear on how much longer we’ve got. I think it’s likely to be a few days/weeks.

My parents are around 2 hours drive from me and my siblings. I’ve been visiting at least once a week, sometimes two or three times a week, since October. My two siblings have visited around five times each in total in the same time period.

I’m so confused as to why they seem not to want to visit. Both of them have objectively better relationships with this parent than I do so I was expecting them to be visiting more. I visit as often as I do because I want my parents to know I’m supporting them both and make the most of the time we have left.

AIBU?

YANBU but I do think sometimes people go into denial when someone close to them is dying. One of my brothers went totally awol when our Dad went into a hospice. He took a job somewhere with very poor internet/phone service when he was told a few days beforehand that he only had a few days left. It was sad to keep trying to reassure my Dad that he probably would call soon, when I knew there was no chance it would actually happen.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, losing a parent is simultaneously such a sad and surreal time

Some people want to avoid facing loved ones who are dying. It is sometimes too hard for them. Very hard on the parent too. Don't get angry at them people grieve in different ways . Others are just in denial and think they have plenty of time.

some people just can't handle the situation. my ex-husband (when we were married) refused point blank to go see his dying father. he didn't want to see it, could'nt cope with it.

my ex-husband actually passed away last year, and our 2 daughters, one went almost every day to see him, the other couldn't bear it.

there's no right or wrong. you do what you need to do and let them do their thing.

i'm sorry for your situation.. best wishes