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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To go and live in the sticks with my man and dog

18 replies

Comfycoco · 27/04/2024 20:25

We were together 10 years, lived in the countryside and ended up feeling bored and going around and around.
So I moved back to a city where I had a lot of friends. Now I've been here 2 years and while I've enjoyed getting out and about hanging out with old friends and making new ones, pubs, gigs, activities etc, now I think that actually as fun as that stuff is, you can't beat the feeling of a chilled, cosy life with someone you love.

Am I having another existential crisis or what do you reckon?

OP posts:
toomanyy · 27/04/2024 20:29

I say go for it. Love being at home.

Doingmybest12 · 27/04/2024 20:30

Grass is always greener on the other side of the river.

Houseinawood · 27/04/2024 20:32

Why can’t you go for a cozy house on the edge of a nice town with a good community

Beezknees · 27/04/2024 20:32

I wouldn't be comfortable having no support system nearby and only a partner to rely on, but do what makes YOU happy.

StarlightLime · 27/04/2024 20:33

Are you still together?

OrigamiOwls · 27/04/2024 20:33

Doingmybest12 · 27/04/2024 20:30

Grass is always greener on the other side of the river.

I agree with this. I think there might be a reasonable chance that if you move, in a couple of years you'll be looking to go back to a more urban environment again

Original poster
Comfycoco · 27/04/2024 20:33

Doingmybest12 · 27/04/2024 20:30

Grass is always greener on the other side of the river.

Yeah I've struggled with this my whole life. Any idea of where that comes from and how to fix it?! Am guessing it's a standard human feeling but some people just seem to get on with things and be content, me I always think "What if?" and it messes stuff up for me. I'm 40 bloody 5!

OP posts:
Original poster
Comfycoco · 27/04/2024 20:35

StarlightLime · 27/04/2024 20:33

Are you still together?

Yeah we saw each other every month the past 2 years and we really miss living together.

OP posts:
StarlightLime · 27/04/2024 20:35

Comfycoco · 27/04/2024 20:35

Yeah we saw each other every month the past 2 years and we really miss living together.

Show quote history

Go for it.

Original poster
Comfycoco · 27/04/2024 20:35

OrigamiOwls · 27/04/2024 20:33

I agree with this. I think there might be a reasonable chance that if you move, in a couple of years you'll be looking to go back to a more urban environment again

Show quote history

So what do I do?!
Should I try and put my efforts into having a kind of "hybrid" life?

OP posts:
tabulahrasa · 27/04/2024 20:39

Comfycoco · 27/04/2024 20:35

Yeah we saw each other every month the past 2 years and we really miss living together.

Show quote history

See that makes it different - I was going to point out that you can stay in as much as you want in a city too.

Can you move in together again somewhere between the two?

PonyPatter44 · 27/04/2024 20:40

Does it have to be one or the other? There are loads of nice smaller towns where you can be out in the sticks in ten minutes, but still have access to a bit of culture and decent facilities.

Churchview · 27/04/2024 21:03

I'm a city born girl who craves the quiet, country life and so moved to the sticks. I then found the sticks too quiet and limiting. Everything so far away. I missed the modernity, culture, buzz.

Now I live in a small town that's a stones throw from the city in which I was born. I have access to everything the city has to offer, the convenience and society of a small town right on my doorstep and a quiet home and garden to which to retreat as often and for as long as I like.

After a lifetime of watching Escape to the Country and then finding it wasn't for me I now think I have the absolute best of both worlds. I'd recommend it.

As to what makes the grass greener? Here's the answer by Dale Carnegie -

"One of the tragic things I know about human nature is that all of us put off living. We are all dreaming of some magical rose garden over the horizon - instead of noticing the roses that are blooming outside our windows today."

LineMadeByWalking · 27/04/2024 21:05

Hang on, so you were together ten years, you moved in with him in the country and were so bored and unhappy you moved back to the city by yourself? And now you want to move back to the country with him even though it bored you last time?

Alphabet1spaghetti2 · 27/04/2024 21:07

Yanbu. Go for it. If my Dh felt the same I would be back out in the sticks permanently. Sadly he doesn’t.
Hell is other people.

Original poster
Comfycoco · 27/04/2024 21:07

LineMadeByWalking · 27/04/2024 21:05

Hang on, so you were together ten years, you moved in with him in the country and were so bored and unhappy you moved back to the city by yourself? And now you want to move back to the country with him even though it bored you last time?

Essentially 😅

OP posts:
icelolly12 · 27/04/2024 21:08

LineMadeByWalking · 27/04/2024 21:05

Hang on, so you were together ten years, you moved in with him in the country and were so bored and unhappy you moved back to the city by yourself? And now you want to move back to the country with him even though it bored you last time?

It is a bit strange. Op were you bored with the quiet country life or bored with him?

LineMadeByWalking · 27/04/2024 21:26

Comfycoco · 27/04/2024 21:07

Essentially 😅

Show quote history

OK, and he’s still living the same quiet, rural life in the place that bored you so much you left him last time? What’s changed? Why is it you either live solo in your zingy urban life or in the sticks with him — will he not move to you, or to somewhere that would represent a happy medium? Does he want you back? Why would th8ng go any differently this time?

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