To ask why I’m worried he’s going to leave?

[Yollyyoo]

I have a lovely DH, we get on great, he respects me and treats me well. He does far and away more than I do round the house and I have it really comfortable. Arguments are rare and we communicate very well.

For the first time in our nearly 5 years together I am suddenly worried he will leave. I am 3 months pregnant and I have felt this way for a couple of months now. I can’t articulate quite why but it plays on my mind and I worry about being on my own with the baby… even though he has never given me a reason to think this. I’ve spoken to him about it and he has been very reassuring and is confused why I’d ever think he would go anywhere.

How do I rationalise?!

Bump

Hi OP didn’t want to read and run. The only reason I could think you’d be feeling this way is maybe the hormones due to pregnancy? If DH hasn’t given you any other reason to feel this way then I’d probably put it down to that. Do you usually have a low self-esteem/low confidence in general? Or is this feeling purely based on your relationship?

I would ask your midwife or GP for support. As a pregnant woman, you will be prioritised in any queues and hopefully the help you get will enable you to rationalise.

I do usually have low self esteem to be honest but it’s never transferred to my relationship/marriage in all the years we’ve been together until now. I’m so hopeful it’s hormones rather than some kind of gut instinct

Is he really looking forward to the baby?

In that case then I agree with @TheSnowyOwl about seeking GP or midwife support as you don’t want these feelings to get worse and become anxious as the pregnancy progresses

Yes he is, he can’t wait to be a dad but is also nervous he will be ‘good enough’!

Thank you x

Oh bless you. Perhaps it's a hormonal thing? We're more 'vulnerable' when pregnant and biology dictates that we want our partners to stick around and look after us and our babies.

Plus in general, big life changes can provoke anxiety. Go easy on yourself.

Your body is working very hard right now, as you are going to produce a human being in 6 months.
You are not able to be the same wife you were before being pregnant, your body and mind are prioritising.
Your husband surely understands, he sounds dreamy.
Understand yourself too❤
It will be fine. Trust.

I think pregnancy hormones can really amplify anxiety, and anxiety is frequently very irrational. If you have a pre-existing fear of abandonment then it makes sense that your anxious mind would fixate on this. Unless he has given you a real reason to worry, I would say this is hormonal and not a “sense of instinct”.