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Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Should I turn down something for free?

7 replies

Minister01 · 27/04/2024 14:14

I’m quite an awkward/anxious person and I’m not sure what the etiquette is here:

I get fitness classes/centre for free. It should be around £100 a month but due to a family friend I get a 100% discount.

The FF is an old friend to my mum - they’re in the same friendship group going years back. I’ve known her my whole life but I’d never say we’ve been overly friendly. If anything I’ve been much closer to the others in the group (others were invited to my wedding but FM wasn’t) - tbh my mum isn’t overly close with her either. She’s nice but always been busy working…

Last year FM approached me to start small talk that she had heard that I was moving to the area her fitness centre was in. She said that they’d ‘sort me out if I was interested joining’. I thought it was a token/polite offer and nothing more was said.

Once I moved to the area she contacted me to set me up with a membership. I honestly thought she’d give me a discount. It hit my inbox that I had got a 100% discount. I thought maybe that would be the first month or just for a couple of months but I know FF keeps renewing my membership. I don’t see FF at the centre as she’s not in a front facing role.

It must be costing her money, as I also get PT time not just the classes/use of the centre.

I feel awkward that maybe I should offer to pay? While I really enjoy and benefit from being a member, without a discount I wouldn’t be able to justify the amount each month. Maybe she knows my budget is tight and that’s why I get it for free? That almost makes me feel worse.

Maybe I should thank her for her generosity but make up an excuse to why I can no longer attend?

OP posts:
Shinyandnew1 · 27/04/2024 14:17

I’m confused. Are FF and FM different people?

Pocketfullofdogtreats · 27/04/2024 14:19

I don't understand the problem. You get it for free and you enjoy going? She is happy to get you free membership? I would just thank her, maybe send her some flowers. If she asks you to pay, and you can't or don't want to afford it, say you don't want to carry on, thanks.

Minister01 · 27/04/2024 14:19

Shinyandnew1 · 27/04/2024 14:17

I’m confused. Are FF and FM different people?

Ah, they’re the same people. It appears auto correct prefer FM over FF.

OP posts:
exomoon · 27/04/2024 14:25

Crikey, women are their own worst enemy sometimes.

No, don’t turn down the free membership.

What you do is take her some flowers/chocolates or anything else she likes from time to time (every fee months) so she knows how much you appreciate it.

Ginkypig · 27/04/2024 14:32

Personally I think she’s just doing a nice thing and you should let her.
you didn’t ask her, she approached you with the entire idea and chose the discount amount you get, you were not involved in any of that it’s all come entirely from her so there’s obviously a reason she chose to.

at some point you’ll see her I would think and you can thank her and double check she’s still ok with the situation.
decide in advance how much you can afford just in case she does decide that she can’t offer a full discount at some point.

LoveWine123 · 27/04/2024 17:28

Keep the membership and send her a thank you card along with some chocolates or flowers to say thank you.

Candleabra · 27/04/2024 17:31

Why would you turn down a free membership? Enjoy it, don’t overthink it.

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