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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to ask to move desks away from colleague with BO?

37 replies

ManhattanMama · 01/04/2008 20:55

So - AIBU to have requested a desk move at work because the guy I sit next to has really bad BO?

I've just come back off maternity leave after 6 months and have been seated next to the smelliest person I think I've ever met - it actually makes me feel sick when he walks past me or wafts in my general direction.

Another desk has opened up and I've asked my boss if I can move - he asked why so I was honest (have no other reason for wanting to move) and he said "He's not that smelly" and that i should speak to him directly if I have a problem with it!

I know it's not just me who think he smells as some of the other guys were joking about it over lunch. They think the only time he has a shower/bath is after he's been for a run with some colleagues which is once a week.

So AIBU? How on earth would I go about telling him I Think he smells?

Help!

OP posts:
Bluestocking · 01/04/2008 20:57

You shouldn't have to tell him he smells! If your boss won't deal with it (is he the smelly chap's boss too?) you can take it to HR and ask them to deal with it.

notnowbernard · 01/04/2008 20:57

If you can tell his boss and discuss it with his colleagues, surely you can tell him?

Bit mean otherwise, IMO

Chequers · 01/04/2008 21:01

Message withdrawn

Weegle · 01/04/2008 21:01

Yep - used to work in HR and had to deal with this a few times. Do you have an HR dept? Really your boss should grow a spine and deal with it himself, or at least allow you to move desk.

bran · 01/04/2008 21:01

Puke on him one day when he's really smelly. Even better make sure the puke damages expensive equipment, computer/printer/photocopier. I bet that would make management take some notice.

Lubyloo · 01/04/2008 21:03

It should be his boss that tackles him not you. It won't be pleasant for the boss but it isn't pleasant for anyone else in the office either.

notnowbernard · 01/04/2008 21:03

I'd like to think that if I had a BO issue someone would tell me

Esp the person at the next desk!

Am puzzled as to why his boss hasn't said anything either, though... why would anyone want to put up with someone who smells so offensive?

Nighbynight · 01/04/2008 21:07

YANBU, and it shouldnt be your responsibility to tell him.

WallOfSilence · 01/04/2008 21:10

It is in my contract that employees should have good personal hygiene as we work in such close proximity to each other.

Read the small print on your workers hand guide/contract, as far as I'm aware all places where employees are near each other should have this rule.

YANBU!

dingdong05 · 01/04/2008 21:11

He's that smelly after only a week? I know a week is a while, but he washes after getting sweaty so why is he so stinky??!!

expatinscotland · 01/04/2008 21:13

YANBU

See your HR department if your boss is too spineless to deal with it.

Maangers are supposed to deal with stuff like this.

Original poster
ManhattanMama · 01/04/2008 21:34

I'm not allowed to move desks here without it going through my boss as my PCs, phone extension etc all have to be moved by other departments. OTherwise I'd have picked up my stuff and moved by now!

The conversation with other colleagues was only a 2 minute one when one bloke asked me over lunch how I was coping sitting next to Bob (not his real name...). I said..."well, he seems nice enough", which had them all laughing and holding their noses (boys eh).

I know if I didn't wash for a week I would smell pretty bad. They go running on Monday lunchtime when he showers, so he smells OK for a couple of days after that but it then gets worse up till Monday morning where it's unbearable.

OP posts:
WallOfSilence · 01/04/2008 21:49

Buy him a bar of soap & leave it on his desk? Ok it's a bit like pointing out the obvious, ... but he might take the hint????

shinyshoes · 01/04/2008 22:01

YANBU BUT........ My sister can get a little whiffy, she bathes EVERYDAY, and I mean everyday, she uses soap and I don't know anyone else that washes everyday. She has tried numerous deodrants and yet by the afternoon, she's a bit whiffy, I have smelt it on her sometimes, but she is aware of it everyday, she sits there and sniffs her pits . It does get her down and when she's in warmer heated rooms she says shes aware its there and she thinks others can smell it.

I don't know what to suggest.

sorry, this has nothing to do with your ituation I know, but it might be something beyond his control, and having people sitting there holding their nose (not you I know)is not fair.

ajandjjmum · 01/04/2008 22:03

If you have a dept. to move pc's etc., you must surely have an HR dept. I would talk to them about it, say you find it difficult, could they speak to him.

My dh told a girl once that she 'was less than fresh', after she'd been stinking out the dept. for weeks. It was his reponsibility to tell her - and it did improve things.

Freckle · 01/04/2008 22:11

I had to sit next to some older chap the other week. It wasn't BO, but some other undefinable puke-inducing smell. I couldn't possibly tell him about it and just gave thanks for the fact that I don't work with him every day.

And you shouldn't have to put up with it. Tell your boss to deal with it or you'll take it up with his boss who will no doubt be furious that your boss didn't deal with it.

scanner · 01/04/2008 22:19

Doesn't everyone wash every day?

TenaciousG · 01/04/2008 23:23

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Scramble · 01/04/2008 23:34

Perhaps he needs antipespirant not just deoderant, get him a lynx gift set with antiP for his birthday or whatever but leave the discussion up to the boss and piss taking to the lads and hopefully it will all get sorted out.

Original poster
ManhattanMama · 02/04/2008 02:07

Yes we have an HR dept - I work for a big investment bank and have never come across anyone else who had personal hygiene issues (have been here for 7 years).

I'll tell my boss that if he doesn't do anything about it then I'll speak with HR - that should get him moving hopefully.

And I know - how difficult is it to have a quick shower or bath every day (or every other day at most)?

OP posts:
twentypence · 02/04/2008 06:48

Smelling like fish can be a medical condition tenaciousG. She was possibly more than aware of it and couldn't do anything.

A good solution for the OP would be to get him running more often so he had more showers. but seriously I think that HR have to deal with this.

TenaciousG · 02/04/2008 15:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

twentypence · 02/04/2008 19:03

That is horrible tencious.

scottishmummy · 02/04/2008 19:11

do raise with his line manager, that is their role. dont get involved in jokes etc it could backfire and be interpreted as bullying or being cliquey.

is he experiencing personal/social problems.
is self care decline a recent thing? (decline in self care often indicative of other problems)

drosophila · 02/04/2008 19:16

It's quite a common problem isn't it. Twice I have worked with people who stank. The first woman was so bad a large section of an open plan office stank. It was really really bad. I bumped into er again recently and no smell. I think she must have had some condition that got sorted.

The oher guy was lovely but worked really hard and had two kids with real bad eczena (hospitalised severe) and I think he was just too knackered to wash. There were days when he smelt of soap and many when he did not. Lovely caring guy who just put himself last in his family.

Having said all that there are few things worse than a repulsive smell so totally understand you needing to do soemthing. Agree your manager is responsible for this and he can contact HR. I would request he do it in writing. Then contact HR yourself if he is inactive. It is terribly tricky and you don't want to upset them.