How to politely tell beautician not to repeatedly ask ...

[FurnitureUpcyler]

I've been going to the same beautician for years and she's really lovely.

We like a chat while I'm having my treatment but every visit she asks me the same questions. For example "does X still live at home", "how is your friend's shop doing", "have you heard anything from Y down south since you fell out" ( we fell out in 2019 & she still asks even though I've said its dead in the water!)
It feels a bit like she's on autopilot.

I try to get in first with different subjects but it always seems to come back to the same tiring scenario, I reached the point where I considered going somewhere else but I really don't want that.

Is there a kind way to say " Please, no more! You're driving me nuts!"? 🤦‍♀️

Take headphones and say you just want to chill out today. Rinse and repeat.

Can you tell her you need to listen to an interview/podcast/training audio for work and put your headphones in?

Really boring. She probably thinks she seems like a very attentive person with a good memory, but the same questions on endless repeat for years are dull. I think I’d make it a bit more emphatic. “Do you not remember me telling you that I’ve not seen Y for four years? I’ll never see her again. You’ve asked a few times over the years so I wondered if you’d forgotten.”

”Same. Still living away from home.”

And then for really tedious stuff, kill it dead. “No idea.” Or, if the mere reason for asking you such bloody boring stuff makes you crabby, ask “Why?”

Never allow a gap in conversation long enough for her to ask.
Walk in and say 'X still lives at home. Tracey's shops doing well and I still haven't heard from Clare'
Put earphones in and tell her you have to listen to a work thing.
Put up with it.

The one about 'have you heard from x since you fell out?!' Years ago!? what a weird question.
Just politely say no to each question and then go back to your phone. Or change beauticians.

Your poor hairdresser.
The fact that she bothers to remember anything about your life is pretty good customer service. You’re not her friend and she sees maybe a 100 people in a week! She is their to do your hair not entertain you with her sparkling wit.
It’s just small talk. Do you bother to ask her about her life?
Just answer her politely and get on with your day.

Absolutely, she’s making an effort, sounds lovely.

This, totally.

It's a wonder anyone bothers working with the public anymore.

You could get her invested in something else by gradually telling her the plot of a book as if it was happening to you. Maybe something by Jackie Collins?

This.

I love this! It's a fabulous idea. May I suggest you be the heroine in Jamaica Inn by Daphne du Maurier? 😁

Ooh, yes good choice! That'd make anyone sit up and pay attention.

It's a beautician, not a hairdresser.

It says so in the title and in the first sentence.

Getting your hair done is different to seeing a beautician, which is supposed to be a relaxing experience.

Can you imagine spending 7-8 hours a day, 5-6 days a week having to make cheerful small talk with loads of women, some you see infrequently and others you see regularly and therefore feel obliged to remember certain details about their life - their family, their job etc?

Some of these clients will welcome the conversation and will happily reciprocate with questions etc. With some I imagine it’s like getting blood out of a stone and you’re thoroughly exhausted by the time their appointment is over.

I’m very lucky to have a really good relationship with my beautician and we never run out of things to talk about. We get on sufficiently well that I’d be comfortable telling her I didn’t want to talk about X, Y, Z again if she brought it up. However, if that wasn’t the case and she ended up asking me some questions that she’d asked me before, I’d just politely and quickly answer and then move the conversation along to the next topic.

YABU. She’s making an effort to be friendly. She probably remembers a few bare facts about you so mentions those each time. She’ll have loads of clients and have to make small talk all day. I think you’re being very unfair to her.

Also, some purposely avoid current affairs and the like so they can remain neutral and not upset anyone.

Tell her about the new trend for 'quiet appointments' and how you'd really like to try it.

Get her talking about something else. I usually ask my hairdresser for tv/netflix/whatever recommendations and he is happy to chat about that.

It’s the same thing 🙄

This sort of behaviour is exactly why I don't go to a beautician, the wittering and nosiness. And I love my hairdresser, because she asked if I like to chat or be quiet. I said quiet. We actually do chat a tiny amount, but things that come up and about our kids, no nosy questions. 90% of the time though, she's quiet.

There is no way of handling this politely unfortunately, if she can't comprehend normal social cues then you have to be blunt, and this sort of character then gets angry because they were "only being nice". It actually isn't nice at all to harass someone, and not much different than a creepy bloke trying to chat you up in the street. All you can do is treat them the same way; add some distance by going elsewhere.

Since you say you do like chatting to this woman, tell her that you don’t like to talk about ‘x friend’ anymore and can we please chat about something else.

Not sure why people are suggesting to put your headphones on when you say you like chatting to her.

I don’t have a regular hairdresser/beautician so keep chat to a very minimal.

When you arrive ask for a silent appointment because you're tired/ have a lot going on at the moment/ whatever and want to use this time to chill

I've started doing this with hairdressers, beauticians etc and it's lovely to just be for an hour or so.

I chat to my beautician and to be honest I barely remember if she has one or two kids and what ages they are so I'm sure I've asked multiple times. And I made a real blooper with my last hairdresser (I moved) as I asked about her child and of course she doesn't have one - like I'm sure she's told me that plenty of times!
These people are tangential in your life, as you are in theirs. They remember some basic facts and that's it. They can't really remember your previous responses so repeat the questions (I'm sure you do too, unless it's all about you in these chats).
I was a bit dismayed the other day when my beautician asked me the result of something major - I had already told her the time before, and thought it was a big enough deal that she'd have remembered. But, it put me in my place, reminding me that just like me, she doesn't (and really can't) absorb the details.
I have one beautician and cat remember; she has dozens and dozens of clients.

Just say "I don't know" in a slightly puzzled way as though it's weird she would ask you that.

Then change the subject.

Treat it as backround noise. Like the voice on the self-checkouts, or the beep of a pedestrian crossing

I have a friend who's the same. She asks about the same things she always does and nothing about those subjects ever changes

YANBU. All she needs to ask is what's been happening with you? And focus on that

@Smartiepants79 1. She's not a hairdresser.

1. We are friends in that we give each other birthday presents, but only see each other on my appointments or occasionally bump into each other in the street.

3.I always take an interest in her life.

1. Good choice of name, suits you! 🙄