Grandparent leaving DS 4 alone in car

[Amalfisunet]

DS4 has started asking to be left in the car if I need to go to a shop, I have always made it very clear that won’t be happening for a very long time. He asked again today and I wondered where this was coming from so asked if any of his safe grown ups leave him alone in the car? He hesitated then said yes. After more questions it appears my DF has left him and his dog (a very well natured one but think this just adds another level to how unsafe this feels) while he nips into the “shop where he gets cereal”.

My gut response is this is seriously unsafe on many levels, DH agrees.
Would anyone actually be ok with this? How do I approach this without it leading to a “don’t tell mummy” situation?

Or the car being hit.
Or the child knocking the handbrake off
Or the child getting out the car and wandering into the road
Or the child or dog over heating
Or the dog turning nasty

I do if its the express shop where i can see the car the whole time.
Not for any others though. Our local shop has no view of car so i dont.
I wouldn't for a basket shop but run in for milk or whatever then yes

I know of a little lad, 6 who was killed when left alone, he decided to get out of the car!

Sorry should have said not with a dog too.

There should be no 'don't tell mummy scenarios'. So tell DD that. Surprises are fine, eg birthday gift, but no secrets.

Where was the dog secured? In a crate away from DD?

I left DS in the car whilst getting petrol but not whilst shopping

I think unless he’s been told grands would think it was fine as it’s not summer and it used to be a pretty normal harmless thing to do if nipping to a corner shop parked outside.

if in the supermarket car park or something where he’s out of sight then no.

I’ve never owned a dog so don’t know the etiquette on that.

Buying cereal from the local Tesco Express with its big windows, good view and small car park outside, then yes. Going into a big Tesco Extra, then no, I wouldn't do it. I'd lock the car though so they can't get out.

Not sure about the dog. It depends on the type of dog, but I'd probably put the dog in the boot. And if it was hot in the car then I wouldn't. We generally don't drive with the fan on so we have a fairly good feel for what's too hot or not. Of course I'm also aware of any incline and handbrake useage/failure.

Really depends on the situation for me. If it is in a quiet place where the child can be seen from inside then yes but otherwise no. The dog is a different situation though.

We don't have a dog....that would be part of the risk assessment.
As would the rest of it including where we had parked and whether the child could be trusted to sit still (in the back) or had ever got out of a car seat etc. The weather.
With my youngest often I wouldn't have done either. I would have taken them home and sent OH to the shop if neither option seemed safe or simple.

DF is on holiday this week so didn’t want to message him. His car is a newish automatic audi so not sure what the handbreak is like in it. DS would be strapped in his seat but can unbuckle himself and dog would be in the back seat strapped in a box type thing, not a crate. She is so well natured and DS is not one for pushing boundaries with her but exactly as someone said if dog was unhappy then she could snap.
I expect it’s a local aldi and unlikely he would have eyes on the car 100% of the time, certainly not in the way I would if I took the risk.
DS is quite sensible but as far as a 4YO can be!
As some others have said I do think it will be a throw back to how it was done on the 90s and not a lack of caring for DS so plan to speak to him along those lines.

Child of the 80s here, my childhood seems to be 90% sitting in cars (typically too hot or too cold) bored out of my tiny mind waiting for adults.

But even then, they'd not have left us in the car with a dog we could reach/touch/unbuckle ourselves to reach/touch - in such situations (We did not have a dog but had a lot of friends we visited/visited us who did..) either the children came and the dog stayed in, or the dog went and the kids stayed in.

I don't think its appropriate to leave such small children in cars, I still recall letting the handbrake off mothers Renault 4 when I must have been 3 or 4, and it rolling across the carpark and her coming out of a shop SCREAAAAAAMING... ugh!