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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

MIL won't join but does her own

31 replies

LordyPutts · 26/04/2024 22:44

I am lucky to have grown up near to a steam train line where we regularly saw Thomas the Tank Engine sat on the line.
Now that I have a little boy I want to take him along to this event, but I'm hesitant to pay the extortionate fee because to me I've seen Thomas loads throughout my life, and DS will likely do so too, but ofc I was DS get to ride along and be able to join in with the activities.
I invited MIL and Mum to join us for a family day out, but MIL declined because she's antisocial she says she isn't interested.
She then asks to take DS on a day out the weekend prior, and DH lets slip she wants to take him to see Thomas for the day.
AIBU to not want to let her take him before I can? Especially as she'll pay the eye watering amount when I'm not that fussed to do so.

OP posts:
PotatoPudding · 26/04/2024 22:48

Would you be posting this if it was your mother, or is it just because it’s MIL?

SmallIslander · 26/04/2024 22:52

Offer the weekend after you go and see how she feels about that.

JellyBabiesSaveLives · 26/04/2024 22:54

Slightly confusing.

You want to take DS to see Thomas but you think it's too expensive so you're not going to?
And his grandma wants to take him and will pay for it but you don't want her to because you want to do that with him?
Reasonable to say no to her if you're going to do it the next weekend, and you've invited her to join and she's declined. Unreasonable if you're not going to go either.

charabang · 26/04/2024 22:58

I'd think about what my son would want.

Dacadactyl · 26/04/2024 23:00

I'd say "great we can all go together the weekend prior"

Southeastmumma · 26/04/2024 23:01

She wants to take him there, spend the time with him, and pay for it all. He gets to enjoy the magic and so does she. You don't have to pay the eye watering cost or put up with the tedium, sorry I mean keep the magic to yourself, of really meeting Thomas. As long as you don't mind missing Thomas just this once it sounds great, they can both have a nice day.

loropianalover · 26/04/2024 23:02

I don’t get it? You don’t want to pay the exorbitant fee, but you invited DM and MIL? But you don’t want MIL to bring DS, without you?

OpusGiemuJavlo · 26/04/2024 23:05

Yanbu it's weird of her to want to "steal" that excitement experience with your DS, especially when you already invited her to share the same experience. Absolutely do not let her have him for the day she's clearly underhand and untrustworthy having lied about being uninterested like that.

Josette77 · 26/04/2024 23:06

Did you invite your mum and mil to go the following weekend or is that a day out doing something else?

If you don't want to pay the money to go, why can't she take him?

Sorry I'm not understanding if you are planning to take him the next weekend or not?

JoniBlue · 26/04/2024 23:15

I'm confused. I gather there is some sort of Thomas event...you don't want to allow mil to go to with your ds.

ByUmberViewer · 26/04/2024 23:18

Your post is confusing can you rewrite it

converseandjeans · 26/04/2024 23:54

But you don't sound that bothered about going. Why not let MIL take him & just do something different with him?

It does seem that she wants to steal your thunder though. It's a bit sneaky.

Moonlane · 27/04/2024 17:19

Op where have you gone lol? I'm confused. Is your mil taking your son to see Thomas the weekend before your family trip is planned to see Thomas? If that's the case why is she doing this ? That is awful and why would your husband 'let is slip'.. why would he keep that from you in the first place. Your mil has no right to take him without your knowledge knowing full well you plan to take him the weekend after, I don't care about the cost don't be tight and allow her to do that. Take your child and pay for him! If I have totally misunderstood this then apologies.

5128gap · 27/04/2024 17:29

So you live close to Thomas and will have loads of opportunities to go to Thomas events, so you're giving the upcoming one a miss and going on a different day out the following week. MiL wants to miss this and take DS to the upcoming Thomas, but you don't want her to because you want his first Thomas event to be with you; but this isn't the one you want to go to? Personally I'd put what DS would like first, but if it's very important to you ask MIL to take him somewhere else?

Runningbird43 · 27/04/2024 17:59

So if I have this right?

you want to take him to see Thomas but don’t want to spend the money.

you have invited mil and mum on a “day out” which does not involve Thomas.

you mil has declined, but offered to take him out the following week, thinking she might take him to Thomas. Paying the money you don’t want to.

so yes, YABU. Pay, or let mil.

Cosycover · 27/04/2024 17:59

I'd just let her take him. You literally said you don't want to go. Problem solved

littleburn · 27/04/2024 18:03

None of this makes sense!

OrigamiOwls · 27/04/2024 18:09

I'm confused. Are you seeing Thomas or not?
If you are then it's wrong for your MIL to take him the week before.

Dareisayiseethesunshine · 27/04/2024 18:11

Op has planned week 2 trip. Mil wants week 1 trip.. As in ds won't care about the second trip... Is she usually awful?

Okayden · 27/04/2024 18:25

I read it as the family day out not being to see Thomas as OP thinks it's too expensive, but OP doesn't want MIL to take DC on Thomas in case OP decides to pay for it in the future.

I don't think there's anything wrong with MIL not wanting to go on a day out all together. I wouldn't enjoy a day out with my parents and my in laws.
Also we live close to a steam railway and have seen Thomas the Tank stationary on the track and have paid for the activity days. My DC loved both, they were excited every time they saw him when they were little.

anon4net · 27/04/2024 18:39

If you aren't taking him to see Thomas, why would you begrudge him the opportunity to see Thomas with Granny?

CrispieCake · 27/04/2024 20:31

It all depends on whether you're actually taking him to see Thomas or not whether YABU.

Your post isn't clear on this point.

But here's an answer that will cover both scenarios and is hopefully less cryptic than your OP:

"A Thomas in the hand is worth two in the steam".

LoveWine123 · 27/04/2024 20:38

My goodness, way to create drama when none exists.

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 27/04/2024 20:40

Do you want to take him or not? I can't work it out.

exomoon · 27/04/2024 20:41

YANBU tell her you have plan with ds and it’ll have to be after you’ve taken ds to see Thomas.