Stop homeschooling your children.

[pentagonisapentagon]

I run an educational consultancy and exam company. We produce books that most parents in our area of education will purchase. Home educating your children makes us money.

However. STOP. Now I don’t mean those that have children with severe issues (this is a small %, everyone likes to diagnose their children with some form of disorder and it isn’t those I’m talking about) who would benefit out the classroom / often awaiting a better school option.

I mean the parents who are tired with the education system - lots of moans that they can’t take their children for a holiday, annoyed about not being allowed make up, the rules being too hard. You can barely spell, stop trying to teach your children yourself. These children are being FAILED by their parents.

By all means, if you have the relationship, time, ability and means to provide a solid home education system (inc money for tutors which will be needed) - go ahead. Just ensure you’re covering the social aspect.

I am seeing the advice to home school EVERYWHERE. Mumsnet and Facebook filled with the poor advice. It’s detrimental to all parties involved.

I’d love to know others thoughts on this.

Plenty of children never go to the Dr if they are healthy by the time they are school age. And a dentist check up is a quick once every 6 months.

HE groups IME are terrible at safeguarding. Lots of HE groups have 1 or more kids with matted hair, dirty and thin and everyone ignores it. Or if anything is said someone just mutters SEN.
I reported a safeguarding concern and was advised by a mother I did get on with to tell no one as we would be thrown out.
Most are far too keen to keep all authorities away so they do not ask the questions any decent teacher would ask.

The thing is you don't have to 'know' it all. When I was home educating my DS if I didn't know something I just looked it up. Something which I'm sure teachers do too!

Maybe the reason they have chosen to homeschool is because their child is dyslexic (and that’s why he can’t spell Jonathan) My child has been in the state system from age 4 to 15 and still can’t spell very well (dyslexic) and has gone to very good schools. Has the mainstream school failed him maybe or maybe he’s just dyslexic.🧐

That's not my experience atall. And on the odd occasion a referral to Children's services were needed it was done. No way I would have ignored a safeguarding concern.

The only people I know who home educate don’t work. They claim benefits and their children are in danger of exclusion so they’ve taken them out.

YANBU
While I agree with home schooling in general, there are an increasing number of parents who home school for the freedom. They can take holidays when they want to, aren't tied to pick up and drop off times etc. The children aren't educated at all. A friend of mine "home schools" her children. Jack is 19 and is incredibly spoilt (as are his siblings) and did go to school until Y7. He had a day off just because he didn't want to go or because the lunch wasn't to his liking that day. After a disagreement about Jack's lack of effort and he was pulled out of school. He has not got a single GCSE. Jane is 16. She too took days off as and when and was taken out of school in Y5, not long after Jack. She has not GCSEs either. James is 8 and lasted until May in reception when his teacher told his mum he struggled in class and had she considered adhd assessment. Jenny is 6 and has never been to school. Jack and Jane are now sit at home all day on their screens. James and Jenny go wherever mum goes. Shopping, errands, park. Neither can read well if at all, writing is not great, maths is nursery level.
Having been to a home schooling group with them, it seems this is the norm for a lot of families around here. These are the parents that need to stop IMO. There doesn't seem to be any sort of regulation or check ins.

*names changed

I work in children's services. Lots of people home school well. Unfortunately lots of people are now home schooling to avoid sanctions due to bad behaviour and low attendance, also linked to lack of parenting. Parents who can't even string a sentence together, and then no education happening at home. Takes time to get to them and go through the process to direct back to mainstream. By this point the child is a school refuser and will probably become NEET. There are also children at risk who should be seen every day and are not due to home schooling, county lines etc etc.

@Mayoontheside this is exactly my point. Also the examples PP have given are occasions when parents often accompany the child, the best thing about school is that the parents are not there.

Baby P was not at school so I’m not sure of the relevance of that case. Just because he had siblings at school doesn’t mean he would have been on the radar of those teachers.

plus there is the complete lack of any supervision or monitoring of whether these children are actually being educated - not necessarily in step with mainstream education - but there should be checks. There are none in many areas particularly given that services are completely overwhelmed and under resourced.

Ime, a huge proportion of home educated children have SEN which probably explains your experience.

My DS used to do Arts Awards at the local art gallery. The tutors said they loved having home educated DC as they were more creative and able to think outside of the box. Again could be due to many being ND.

In terms of socialisation, some HE kids are fine. Others can relate best to adults but not their own peers.

The thing is you don't have to 'know' it all. When I was home educating my DS if I didn't know something I just looked it up. Something which I'm sure teachers do too!

Yes, we do. But we also know how to teach.

I was appalled when my SiL said they'd decided to home educate their 5 children. Born again Christians, they had firm ideas based on their beliefs. Actually, to my surprise, it paid off. They had an active social circle and lots of enrichment and have grown up without the bullying and anxiety that seems so common in schools. I tutor school pupils coming up to GCSE exams who often have limited vocabulary and never read a book. One able student had been put in a group of 'difficult' pupils because she had panic attacks. That group was taught English by a PE teacher who failed to teach the Shakespeare component of the syllabus. Two of my nieces never went to school, they are confident young women who have interesting careers. The younger three went into school at top primary level and have also developed their own interests and are successful. Not all home schooled children fare so well but I have yet to meet any who any less able than the school pupils I tutor.

'are' !

I know someone who is trying to manage someone who was home schooled. They are a total nightmare, they are utterly unable to work with others and cannot take any criticism. It sounds like they were kept as home as company for their mum so I think very little socialisation happened.

The point is, I'm sure home schooling can work really well. I'm also pretty sure it quite often doesn't. But you can say the same about being at school.

I HE and I know many home edders and your OP doesn’t match any of them.

They are predominantly SN (not a tiny % of children like you suggest), and suggesting that these children have diagnoses because their parents like that? Wow. You may work in education but you have no idea about SN so maybe stick to what you know?
Those who don’t have SN have still struggled with the system, or haven’t been in school at all.
Ironically a rather high number (over 75 and growing) of the parents in my local group (over 300 families) left teaching to HE because they were so unhappy with the current environment they refused to put their children through it. That says a lot about education at the moment.

Many parents have lost trust in the education system. Understandably. Have you seen all the threads from teachers lately blaming children and parents? Education is a complete shitshow for teachers, students, and parents. Some do well, most get through regardless of the obvious issues, many are hurt badly by the system.
Until this changes HE numbers are going to grow.

Well I’m a teacher. I’ve taught primary and complex sen. Lockdown was my biggest nightmare. I could never home educate my kids. Well maybe one of them. I have one who is a keen high achiever and will happily work independently and be taught and helped by me. She’s easily bored though - suspect adhd but too clever to qualify for assessment as they system for that is sh*t. However my other child is autistic and academically able but will not comply with any work outside of school. She needs school for the routine. Teaching her over lockdown nearly finished me off. She’s more than capable of achieving high grades but her autism seems to prevent her from revisiting things she’s been taught before when she’s about to do an exam. She’s a massive people pleaser in public and will do whatever her teachers require in lessons and will stay and do homework at school but ferrying anything done at home is a total nightmare. She does have other activities scheduled into evenings and weekends for the purpose of routine and meeting her special interests.

Most of the people I see home educating are doing it because there is an underlying need not being met. Some are overly protective of little Jenny who is shy and and doesn’t like some subject so they would prefer to keep them home to stop the tears. But likely there’s also an undiagnosed issue going on. Others are home educating due to either neurodivergence and finding the school environment completely inappropriate for their child in mainstream. Special schools are great for those with complex needs and learning disabilities but when you’ve got ND who are actually high achievers then there are no special school places for them to have their needs met. My autistic child struggles with the busyness of school and the sensory overload but she would struggle more with doing it all at home. Her school are good with most reasonable adjustments and we haven’t had to apply for EHCP or look into alternative provision.

My other issue is that I spent 4 years at university training to be a teacher (I did a combined teaching and subject degree for 4 years not a subject plus pgce). There are lots of people who think they’re qualified to teach but aren’t. Those they can afford to pay for tutors will have kids that do well. Many also seem to join home Ed groups so their kids can mix and learn in groups. But I guess this is more flexible than school. And as other have said there must be a massive cost implication on a family unless full time hours can be worked in shift or something. I’m a single parent. If I don’t work we wouldn’t afford to live.

I think in the UK, home-school falls into three categories:

The inadequately supported SEN child.

The religious zealot, often with a fair bit of Dunning-Kruger.

Lazy slobs who can't be bothered with the discipline of school.

So many HS kids' parents cite 'my child's IQ is 300!', (but they can't make eye contact).

School is about so much more than ABC.

Yes different needs or special needs is a whole different story. It is a shame if that isn’t the right decision but I guess you have to try to tell.

for the others, I am sorry but it doesn’t sound like they chose to homeschool…but like they chose to leave a school hence had to homeschool in midtime. Yes, they will probably reenroll at first chance.

i wouldn’t necessary shout poor parenting. I think that if they were bothered enough to take their kids out, maybe it was just a misfit. Now, if they have to change again and again…well…the parenting would be in question. It would still not be homeschooling choice though.

But your first measure of 'success' is purely academic.... 🤔

Most of us or at least those I know who homeschool do so because mainstream education did not suit their child's learning needs or was damaging their self esteem and mental health with their one size must fit all rules and methods. Every child is different so that was never going to work for lids that did not fit the mold. Homeschooling does not equal poor socialisation as most parents get together with other homeschoolers or ensure their children participate in clubs and activities. The flexibility is a bonus.

It may be that those children you are noticing are being home educated precisely because they find social interactions overwhelming.

The parents may have made the decision to educate them at home until they are more confident and this Art club is a place they feel safe bringing them to dip their toe in for a short time.

I'm not particularly in favour of home educating but I don't think you can judge an individual case like this.

i wouldn’t necessary shout poor parenting. I think that if they were bothered enough to take their kids out, maybe it was just a misfit. Now, if they have to change again and again…well…the parenting would be in question. It would still not be homeschooling choice though.

No definitely poor parenting. Parents want to avoid the scrutiny.

You lost me at home school. We home educate our children in this country. The fact that you do not know this suggests you know very little about home education. Most of us are raising very well socialised young people so no need for your concern there either. I'd hardly describe most school children as well socialised and polite. Well done for trying though.

I'm a university lecturer and my husband is a secondary school teacher and there's no way we feel we have the necessary and broad range of subject knowledge to successfully educate our children at home. I think some people are deluded and quite egotistical to think they can. If a child manages to get high grades it is in spite of their parents and not because of their expert teaching abilities.