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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Stop homeschooling your children.

655 replies

pentagonisapentagon · 26/04/2024 18:11

I run an educational consultancy and exam company. We produce books that most parents in our area of education will purchase. Home educating your children makes us money.

However. STOP. Now I don’t mean those that have children with severe issues (this is a small %, everyone likes to diagnose their children with some form of disorder and it isn’t those I’m talking about) who would benefit out the classroom / often awaiting a better school option.

I mean the parents who are tired with the education system - lots of moans that they can’t take their children for a holiday, annoyed about not being allowed make up, the rules being too hard. You can barely spell, stop trying to teach your children yourself. These children are being FAILED by their parents.

By all means, if you have the relationship, time, ability and means to provide a solid home education system (inc money for tutors which will be needed) - go ahead. Just ensure you’re covering the social aspect.

I am seeing the advice to home school EVERYWHERE. Mumsnet and Facebook filled with the poor advice. It’s detrimental to all parties involved.

I’d love to know others thoughts on this.

OP posts:
TheKookyPoster · 27/04/2024 16:30

Have you seen the state of state school education?! They’re being gradually defunded, teachers are burnt out and quite frankly teaching a class of 30+ kids of varying abilities is very hard. Behaviour of kids is totally out of control. Several with poor mental health. Literacy and numeracy rates are declining.

Yes, there are many families not doing a good job at home ed. Largely the unschooling ones, who don’t actually understand what unschooling is. To do it properly is an awful lot of work, more than any other educational philosophy and I think it’d be a challenge with more than 1 child if you don’t have a cleaner etc. I think with the yearly report a portfolio should be submitted too. But also like many American states some funding for resources, extra curricula’s etc. Not necessarily the full amount schools get for pupils but something is better than nothing. Plus free GCSE exams

EC22 · 27/04/2024 16:32

My daughter is very unhappy at school and I am trying to get her moved schools, 6 months on and still no better and no new school, but I know that homeschooling isn’t the answer, but I can understand why some feel it’s the only way.

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/04/2024 16:38

There are as many types of home education as there are families and these range from incredibly committed and creative people who are providing a bespoke experience for their kids to dossers who can’t be bothered to discipline them.

I have to say though that the Facebook HE forums are very troubling to me. Pages and pages of people defending the fact that they have basically thrown their kids to the wolves and saying hours on Minecraft is “learning”. Some of it is breathtaking.

It is clearly the best option for lots of kids but it’s also a get out of jail free for some very feckless parents who can’t face up to adulting and it is high time it was regulated.

Willyoujustbequiet · 27/04/2024 16:41

I don't but have thought about it during lockdown as dc seemed to do noticeably better academically than when they were in school.

On balance I think yabu. There are simply too many variables. The school system/teaching is too poor in many areas for many kids. People will vote with their feet.

BobbyBiscuits · 27/04/2024 16:51

I had a mixed experience at school. I come from a family of teachers, so maybe I'm biased. But I would always leave it to the professionals. Even disillusioned teachers don't think home education works for their own kids personally.
My mum is an English teacher. That's not enough knowledge for a rounded curriculum for someone's whole school age career. There are always too many gaps to be filled. Social integration being the main one, before formal learning even takes place.
I agree unless the whole concept of schooling, in any shape or form has proven to be massively detrimental then you should try and find a way forward, without just giving up fully on professional educators in a mainstream environment.

crostini · 27/04/2024 17:20

Well even a sub par home education is preferable to the piss poor excuse for secondary education in the UK.

Blahdymcblahdyface · 27/04/2024 17:30

crostini · 27/04/2024 17:20

Well even a sub par home education is preferable to the piss poor excuse for secondary education in the UK.

Do you work in education ?

AllProperTeaIsTheft · 27/04/2024 17:33

Well even a sub par home education is preferable to the piss poor excuse for secondary education in the UK.

Impossible to say that without knowing the competence of the specific home-educators and the quality of the school those dc would otherwise go to. There are certainly problems in secondary schools in general, but not all secondary schools are bad. Many would offer a much better education than sub-par HE.

noosmummy12 · 27/04/2024 17:55

I joined a homeschooling group on FB. I was shocked and terrified at the posts on there!! Very rarely was there a post without a spelling mistake, and every comment on new posts were slamming the local authorities and telling new home schoolers not to let anyone into their homes and not to engage with the LAs at all because they’re all liars and have no idea what they’re doing…. Their poor children !

Sendinsanity · 27/04/2024 18:00

I think there needs to be much tighter regulation over home schooling to ensure they finish their schooling phase with a balanced, usable outcome

TheKookyPoster · 27/04/2024 18:01

crostini · 27/04/2024 17:20

Well even a sub par home education is preferable to the piss poor excuse for secondary education in the UK.

Saying things like this doesn’t help.
The only way this is may be true is for a child suffering mental health issues to bullying. In which case the most important thing is that they are removed from an environment making it worse, causing suicidal feelings/ attempts and self harm. In those circumstances an educationally poor home education is significantly better than a better school education. Mental health is priority then and a level 1 course at college down the line.

There was a channel 4 documentary a few years ago, think it was called feral kids or something like it. It was about home educators and from what I recall they were all unschoolers. A 15/16 year old couldn’t read or write!! As he was doing graffiti on the family caravan on his family land, he mis-spelt it. This is obviously an extreme case of educational neglect, and I’ve always wondered if a less wealthy family could get away with it. But he would definitely have been better off in school and there are less extreme situations where this is true too. Educational neglect (to me this is includes low education quality, not just no education) is not better than secondary education. There are many problems in the school system, but statements like this just make home educators look delusional.

Sendinsanity · 27/04/2024 18:01

Thepeopleversuswork · 27/04/2024 16:38

There are as many types of home education as there are families and these range from incredibly committed and creative people who are providing a bespoke experience for their kids to dossers who can’t be bothered to discipline them.

I have to say though that the Facebook HE forums are very troubling to me. Pages and pages of people defending the fact that they have basically thrown their kids to the wolves and saying hours on Minecraft is “learning”. Some of it is breathtaking.

It is clearly the best option for lots of kids but it’s also a get out of jail free for some very feckless parents who can’t face up to adulting and it is high time it was regulated.

I read one recently who was asking for advice on how to convince the LA that hours on roblox is educational

TwelveTimesTables · 27/04/2024 18:02

OP - Have you actually been in a state secondary school recently?!

TheKookyPoster · 27/04/2024 18:04

I just checked, it’s called Feral Families, still on channel 4 on demand! Going to watch it again once kids are in bed.

Sendinsanity · 27/04/2024 18:05

It is neglect

Sendinsanity · 27/04/2024 18:06

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Stop homeschooling your children.
amccabe15 · 27/04/2024 18:08

ABSOLUTELY 👏👏👏👏👏

AppleCrumbCake · 27/04/2024 18:09

I know three home educated children from three different families, one is now training to be a GP, one started a maths degree aged 17, one started an apprenticeship with a big engineering company.

Becgoz7 · 27/04/2024 18:19

Who are you to tell people what to do?

I have been home educating for 16 years. The school system is a choice.

pentagonisapentagon · 27/04/2024 18:22

RainbowColouredRainbows · 26/04/2024 20:42

I think it works for lots of families for lots of different reasons, but as a teacher, we've had a massive increase in the last year of students entering in yr9/10/11 because it's not worked. The ones entering in yr11 are getting grade 1s across the board and the ones in yr9 and 10 and we'll behind their peers both socially as well as academically.

There are a lot of parents who homeschooling who throw themselves fully into it and make a good go of it. There are others who can't even access the curriculum themselves but had a false sense of ability from the low-cognitive-load work being set over lockdown.

Yes. This is common.

A lot of our business is consulting schools with PX students / those that can’t afford to send children to PRUs.

You'll hear parents saying that school failed them, but a lot are just arseholes. Online media has massively changed and parents aren’t keeping up with it. It took far long for the outcries towards Andrew Tate and that’s just the tip of the iceberg.

Too many parents are advising home schooling as if it will be better than the current situation - experience has shown isn’t and it just leads to failure (which doesn’t necessarily need to be academic).

A lot of defensiveness is from those that have homeschooled and believe they’re doing it successfully. Again believing that they can quantify this purely by results/their child being in a career now. Plenty of good results but many dire.

OP posts:
pentagonisapentagon · 27/04/2024 18:22

Becgoz7 · 27/04/2024 18:19

Who are you to tell people what to do?

I have been home educating for 16 years. The school system is a choice.

Think you’ve misunderstood Mumsnet.

OP posts:
pentagonisapentagon · 27/04/2024 18:23

Sendinsanity · 27/04/2024 18:06

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THESE POSTS ARE TEN A PENNY! Thank you for sharing.

OP posts:
pentagonisapentagon · 27/04/2024 18:24

TwelveTimesTables · 27/04/2024 18:02

OP - Have you actually been in a state secondary school recently?!

Yes, daily.

Predominantly failing ones.

OP posts:
pentagonisapentagon · 27/04/2024 18:24

noosmummy12 · 27/04/2024 17:55

I joined a homeschooling group on FB. I was shocked and terrified at the posts on there!! Very rarely was there a post without a spelling mistake, and every comment on new posts were slamming the local authorities and telling new home schoolers not to let anyone into their homes and not to engage with the LAs at all because they’re all liars and have no idea what they’re doing…. Their poor children !

Yep! Everywhere!

OP posts:
Popcornready · 27/04/2024 18:25

Home educator here too youngest child with multiple needs… sat exams the same time as her peers would do in the prison education system
2x9 2x7 2x4 not tied to a desk and forced to learn shit she won’t use in life.
happy with her choices
Socialising she does plenty with a wide age range of humans also work experience in a variety of fields she wouldn’t have the chance to do if she had been a”government robot” (her words not mine)

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