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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Evening invite

46 replies

3ismagic · 26/04/2024 14:44

DH and I have a wedding evening invite coming up and I am currently 39 weeks pregnant with baby number 3. Baby will be around 5 weeks old and I double checked it's ok that I bring JUST baby to the evening as I don't feel comfortable leaving him/her that young, but have been told no, as no children day or night.

AIBU to think this is a bit off? I totally get the no children rule at weddings, but can you even class a 5 week old as a child?

OP posts:

paintingvenice · 26/04/2024 18:29

3ismagic · 26/04/2024 17:50

Thanks for your smart comment but I didn't know it was a child free wedding.

Show quote history

So how did the question go? “You know you haven’t invited child A or B, well there is now child C, any chance that one can come?”

Snugglemonkey · 26/04/2024 18:37

It would be an automatic no from me.

Dacadactyl · 26/04/2024 19:20

paintingvenice · 26/04/2024 18:29

So how did the question go? “You know you haven’t invited child A or B, well there is now child C, any chance that one can come?”

Show quote history

Well yeah, that'd be exactly how that convo would go:

"I will have a 5 WEEK OLD at the time of your wedding, any chance I could bring baby with me?"

Tbf to the bride and groom, if id only been invited to the evening do, it'd be an outright no from me and I'd not go to the wedding. I'd not have bothered asking about bringing baby myself.

Anyone I know who has had a tiny baby at the time of friends' weddings has asked if they could bring baby and the answer has always been yes.

Herdingcatz · 26/04/2024 19:22

A friend bought her baby to my childfree wedding. Got my own back, took my golden retriever to hers

Haydenn · 26/04/2024 19:23

Dacadactyl · 26/04/2024 19:20

Well yeah, that'd be exactly how that convo would go:

"I will have a 5 WEEK OLD at the time of your wedding, any chance I could bring baby with me?"

Tbf to the bride and groom, if id only been invited to the evening do, it'd be an outright no from me and I'd not go to the wedding. I'd not have bothered asking about bringing baby myself.

Anyone I know who has had a tiny baby at the time of friends' weddings has asked if they could bring baby and the answer has always been yes.

Edited

Show quote history

The answer is yes because you’re put on the spot and don’t want to look like a dick. Not because you want it there

MinistryOfTragic · 26/04/2024 19:25

If you're not important enough to be invited to the full wedding, I wouldn't be going out of my way to attend if I had a five week old baby. All the best for the rest of your pregnancy and birth.

Dacadactyl · 26/04/2024 19:26

@Haydenn well that's on the couple then. If I wanted a childfree wedding, I'd say no sorry you can't bring baby.

No harm in you asking to clarify in my mind. A 2 year old or 5 year old is very different to a 5 week old.

Mamimoo · 26/04/2024 19:27

I just wouldn’t go. I had a 5 week old at a family
wedding. During the day it was fine but the evening so was awful. It was so loud and I spent all of it outside in the venue grounds. I ended up in the room with the baby by 9 as it was getting cold by then.

ZenNudist · 26/04/2024 19:31

Say no. You cant leave baby. Do they just want DH to come?

Maybe they dont want to be upstaged by new baby?

A normal evening gift would be £50 so you're quids in not going anyway.

WaitUpForMe · 26/04/2024 19:32

It’s their choice to not want children there, 5 week old babies can be noisy, but I think most people would decline in your circumstances.

Maybe they’re worried that a cute baby would take attention away from them. 😬

abracadabra1980 · 26/04/2024 19:51

0verandoveragain · 26/04/2024 15:12

A 5 week old baby is a child. Just don't go. It's not the place for a new baby anyway.

This.

xyz111 · 26/04/2024 19:55

I wouldn't go to the evening with a new baby (even if you were allowed). Evening is the loudest time with disco/ band. It'll be noisy and you'll probably not sit in the main room anyway.

jackstini · 26/04/2024 19:59

When did you find out it was child free? If it didn't say on the invitation then it's not your fault you didn't know

Did they know you were pregnant a while ago? If so they should have said something immediately

I would decline. I've been to weddings with a 9 week old and a 12 week old, but I wouldn't have left them

2chocolateoranges · 26/04/2024 20:06

I personally wouldn’t take a 5 week old to a wedding reception, not really the place for them, noisy, drunk people who have been drinking all day.

id either go myself for a couple of hours, get a babysitter for a couple of hours to go with dh or I would decline the invite.

Original poster

3ismagic · 26/04/2024 20:15

@paintingvenice there wasn't actually any clarification that child a and b weren't invited. It's just I wouldn't take them because they are old enough to be looked after elsewhere.

OP posts:

Original poster

3ismagic · 26/04/2024 20:17

jackstini · 26/04/2024 19:59

When did you find out it was child free? If it didn't say on the invitation then it's not your fault you didn't know

Did they know you were pregnant a while ago? If so they should have said something immediately

I would decline. I've been to weddings with a 9 week old and a 12 week old, but I wouldn't have left them

I never knew it was child free, it's just something I would choose not to take my older two to because they are old enough to be looking after elsewhere. Kind of glad I haven't got to fit my 5 week PP body into a dress now though 😂

OP posts:

tuvamoodyson · 26/04/2024 20:19

Haydenn · 26/04/2024 19:23

The answer is yes because you’re put on the spot and don’t want to look like a dick. Not because you want it there

Show quote history

Tbh…I would’ve said ‘sorry, no’ they can think what they like…

Catandsquirrel · 27/04/2024 12:22

Maybe they dont want to be upstaged by new baby?

Is this really how people think?

Wonderwall23 · 27/04/2024 12:31

I'm not sure an evening reception is the place for a newborn baby to be honest, so if I wasn't comfortable leaving them I just wouldn't go and I think that's fine.

jeaux90 · 27/04/2024 12:43

Honestly the thought of going to something like this 5 weeks after a baby would fill me with dread and I would have said no.

But yes totally fine for them to say no.

lap90 · 27/04/2024 12:47

It's an evening do.

I do 't think it's off, no.

Just send your regrets and enjoy a night in.

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