To ask if I can realistically make this work?

[Greys1996]

I am a single mum to an 8 year old DD, who has additional needs (autism) and attends an SEN school. DD doesn’t see her dad, I do have family living nearby (within 10 minutes of each other) however my mother and siblings work FT and my grandparents are in their 70’s so getting on a bit.

Since DD was born I have stayed at home to care for her, I’m now considered to be her carer. The thing is, is that I’m nearly 30 years old and I’ve never had a proper career and I’m finding staying at home more and more difficult.

I don’t want another dead end job doing nothing useful or important, what I would really love to do is go back to university and study nursing, as these are plans that I have put off for the last 8-9 years and fear I’ll never get a chance to do.

How can I realistically make this work regarding placements? The hospitals they offer are relatively close to me (20-25 minutes) but DD’s school don’t offer breakfast club/after school club and I don’t know if I would trust a babysitter or nanny something like that unless they was extremely well trained especially to deal with DD’s autism and then they would probably be really expensive.

Is there a way to do shift work/placement around caring for DD?

OP I have been a lone parent for 14 years. I do have a career and it's tough enough without adding shift patterns in unless you have great support network.

What I will say is there are a lot of government funded bootcamps (some remote) that can help, some of them even line up interviews after.

I work for a software company that runs one too, it's specifically aimed at getting people like you into the tech industry but there are a lot of other courses out there too.

I'm not trying to discourage you from your dream job, I'm just saying there is a wide range of choices that might work better for you as a lone parent.

can you consider training as a health care assistant? Maybe an easier course and more flexible? They do a lot of nurse-type jobs nowadays?

I really want to say yes as I think your ambitious and drive to make a better life is so admirable. But, I think the shift pattern nature of this kind of profession is going to be almost impossible. Unless you get a full time live in Nanny or Au Pair.

Are there other parts of health care such as OT, physio etc that might interest you that have more standard hours?

If you want to work in a related but more manageable profession (in terms of shifts both in training and once qualified) look at occupational therapy, radiography, speech and language therapy.....
There are loads of roles in the NHS and increasingly loads of apprenticeships so you can train in the job.
https://www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/explore-roles
https://www.healthcareers.nhs.uk/career-planning/study-and-training/nhs-apprenticeships/nhs-apprenticeships-see-what-you-could-do

Childcare is going to be the issue here.

If nursing is really the ‘dream’ :

1. Would your daughter be able to attend a specialist secondary school with the option to board? This would give you the flexibility you need for shift work.
2. Do you live in a location that would be attractive for an au pair and have a spare bedroom?

Without either of the above, I can’t see how you’d manage to do nursing.

Outside of nursing, roles in technology and data can be very flexible and allow remote working. Although, even this can be difficult, as opportunity to progress will often be linked to networking and in-person working events.

It’s very difficult, but you’re starting in the right place by thinking about the support infrastructure you’ll need in place.

I know that sometimes they can be quite flexible in the work pattern that they give you but there’s a possibility I might still need someone to get my DD on the school bus and have her for a couple of hours after school so I guess it would be finding someone willing to do that. I know they also pay about £200 a week towards childcare. I could potentially work as a HCA but I wanted to do nursing with the aim of eventually getting advanced nursing qualifications to work in trauma and things like that as I like something a bit challenging that keeps me on my toes.

I suppose I could do something a bit on the lower level until DD is a bit older, I mean when she is 16 I will be 37 - is that too old to then switch to nursing?

Definitely not too old but at the moment you would really struggle with placements unless you have robust flexible childcare arrangements

I think that's like going from 0 to 100 to be honest.

If you want to do something that feels worthy, how about working for a charity? You can probably do a lot from home.

I have an SEN child, a regular hours job, and a very present husband, and it's still a massive struggle. In reality I can't see this working well, sorry to say.

The only thing that really interests me or motivates me is working within the medical field to some degree. Yes it’s about doing something worthy but it’s also something I feel very passionate about, I understand it well and I know I would be good at (I originally went in to study midwifery before I had my DD all them years ago so I have some basic knowledge). I really don’t want to be one of those people stuck doing a job that they don’t enjoy just because it’s convenient…

You'd need bombproof childcare - either relatives (preferably multiple relatives) or enough money to employ Nannies etc.

I don't work on the medical field, I worked in education. A lot of teaching trainees had problems with placements as everyone wanted the closer ones. Some people were driving 1.5 hours to placements.

How sure are you about where the placements are? Would you have to do night shift etc?

Maybe worth talking to some people who have done the course about the realities of it.

Nursing isn't ever flexible with the shifts because the start and finish times fit with the handover with the other team. I had friends who did nursing who didn't drive and there was zero flexibility about starting times, eg if people asked because there was no public transport running.

If you are sure you want to be in the medical field you could look at training in something like phlebotomy (taking bloods) so a bit like being a HCA though more technical. Occupational therapist is another role that has medical aspects but is much more family friendly for working hours.

I think the shifts of hospital nursing will be a big challenge. Senior nurses tend to have more predictable hours, but it takes a long time to get there.
Have you thought about working in a GP practice? The working pattern might suit you better. You could start as a HCA, and this would allow you to work out some childcare solutions, and also give you a really strong foundation if you wanted to go on to a nursing degree.

There may be other careers and options to consider too, for example my friend has recently completed a degree part-time over 6y while working in substance misuse services. There are also apprenticeships in various healthcare fields too. Perhaps make some enquiries with the local careers advisor, or recruitment department of your hospital trust?