Husband guaranteed sibling's mortgage -sibling made redundant!

[Watfordmetropolitanline]

Hi.
Without discussing with me, my husband guaranteed his sibling's mortgage as they didn't have enough money for the deposit.
They moved into a big house out of greed, not necessity.
I recently found out the sibling lost his job and received a redundancy package, but at the time had no idea if the new job would materialise - luckily it did.
I'm thinking that my husband would have been responsible for mortgage payments if the cash ran out.
I think the guarantee was made on our home!
I'm thinking I must separate out from my husband as he makes bad financial decisions and he has such a strong bond with his family of origin that he would risk our home.
I'm not on the mortgage and have registered my interest in our address a few years ago.
I'm not on it cos he said there's no need for me to be.

He could be in debt and leave nothing in his estate after all debts have been paid?

AIBU to separate (out) from him?
He's guaranteed their sodding mortgage but doesn't even offer me a cup of tea.

I would have been furious if my husband had ever put our home at risk.

Is he refusing to put you on the title deeds and mortgage for the home?

I'd be livid! Any children together?

I’d be furious

but what do you mean by
I'm not on the mortgage and have registered my interest in our address a few years ago

Have you actually asked what it was guaranteed on?

Not being on the mortgage is fine - why are you for on the deeds?

id absolutely divorce over this

I'm guessing you are from a certain culture ? I'm just asking as this seems to be common in certain cultures, all finances intertwined, multiple family properties put in other family members names to protect business assets, assets hidden, property transferred to others etc. Women are often not included in mortgages etc.

What’s separating out? It sounds like you are already financially separate if he won’t even let you on his mortgage?

I'd be furious

Yeah this would be a deal breaker for me. I could live with a lot of sexual infidelity but muck about with my home and I'm checking out.

That wouldn't necessarily mean I would be instantly out of there but I'd start putting my interests first.

I'm not on the mortgage and have registered my interest in our address a few years ago.
I'm not on it cos he said there's no need for me to be.

So he’s excluded you from what is likely to be the biggest asset in the marriage. You clearly know this isn’t good because you registered an interest in the property. This sounds like a one sided relationship.

Do you work OP? Do you have children?

I found out when a letter asking for his signature came to our home.
I opened it in case it was junk mail I could bin.
I called the siblings spouse and asked them "What's this about you moving house?"
They replied in a high voice, what, who's moving house and sounded panicky.
I asked my husband not to sign it.
I don't know if he did or not - I knew that if he had, then that was the end for us and I couldn't take it in yet.
I then received a message from sibling telling me "it was a formality". I told them that it could be enforceable in law!

Husband and sibling said it was only until their original home had sold, as their purchaser couldn't complete yet.
I said what if your purchaser falls through.

Then it turns out that they asked other family members who told them absolutely not - one person told me this a few months ago.
The guarantee was a,few years ago

I think your husband has a big choice to make - his marraige or his guarantee.

He needs to request it's removal, which may not be possible if his sibling doesn't have affordability on their own. If it was a few years ago, the equity and affordability may changed and it may be possible to do so now.

I used to work in debt recovery many years ago. People who signed guarantees for others were some of the most decent individuals going but most were naive, some even stupid. It was the absolute worst part of the job and a lot of those they signed for didn't give a shit that their relative was pursued for the debt. People need to realise it's far more than a nice gesture or a piece of paper - it's a legally binding contract with consequences.

I'd asked to be on the deeds and he refused.
Alarm bells rang - why wouldn't my name go on there?
He said only if I pay towards the mortgage.
I said I can't- I'd only get £20/hour and with young children (that he wanted), that would go out on childcare/cleaning.

Children are 16 and 11.
I'm training to do a job with flexible hours, so I can begin to build a business/income for myself after we separate.
It's been on the cards for a while, but I hoped we could work things out.
Upon learning of redundancy, things came into focus and I realise we could lose money/our home cos someone else wanted a bigger house (each child had own bedroom in first house and no modifications needed for disability, so bigger house not needed due to need).
Our home is half the size of theirs! We have a 3 bedroom loft conversion semi.

Hi thirty.
For me, the fact that for whatever reason he considered signing that paper.
It's almost irrelevant if he signed it or not.
I can't even ask him.
If he signed it, it's over.
If he didn't, what's to stop someone else trying in the future and him giving in?
I don't know what pull they have over him, but I'm not losing money/my home over it!
He's working loads including weekends - I can't even ask him if he's giving money to another family member cos I don't trust his answer.
Of course it's over.
I have no choice.

Exactly my attitude.

Teakitten- Separating out emotionally, not trying to connect with him any more.
Looking to my future as a single woman.

Babyroobs - sounds familiar.
Heaven knows what's been going on!
I have to get away from this man to avoid suffering from a financial mess!
I'm white and English and not from a culture which oppresses females, and I've certainly got sympathy for 'trapped' people.

It's sounds like you've got plans in place @Watfordmetropolitanline . If you've not done it already, get the advice of a solicitor regarding what you're entitled to when you leave this person!

All ears- I'll be going after everything and let his solicitor negotiate downwards.

I've spent most of today trying to accept my decision/plans.
Husband and I were chatting, I was trying to be honest.
He said that's you and walked off.
I went after him and said I was trying to talk with you. Walking off in a huff is hardly constructive.
I feel relieved that I don't have to keep trying to connect with him anymore.