are most people fake

[Catmum41]

feeling very low this evening. i’m mid forties but feel like most people including friends seem to be fake. i’ve been off sick from work today nobody has asked how i am. one of my friends that has spoken negatively about another has been out for dinner and meeting up with her at the weekend. i just don’t understand people and feel most are dishonest or are just nice to your face but are probably two faced. my adult daughter says i expect too much from people but i guess i just expect people to be honest. sorry if this all sounds childish just feeling let fown

I'm sorry you are feeling low.

Society would completely collapse if people weren't fake.
You only need to read here or Reddit or any other anonymous internet site to know that being fake is socially necessary. Ime people generally don't much care about others apart from family and close friends (and often not even then).

I think a lot of people are but not everyone. I find that the loud, ‘friendly’ people are often not that genuine, but the ones who it takes longer to warm to are the most genuine and decent.

people are complex.

I think I have many qualities others may describe as fake. Such as I get frustrated with friends, vent to others about it, then meet up with the friends I'm frustrated with. To me it's the opposite of fake as we all have these feelings and I can't always talk to the person involved and sometimes it's nice to vent.

TBH I couldn't get worked up about no-one asking if i'm ok if i'm sick unless I was having major surgery or something more serious. I am quite unsympathetic to illness that isn't serious. I would also assume you would tell me if it got serious.

As ive got older I have cut out a lot of the boring smaller talk such as "how was Juliettes dance recital" "oh wow thats amazing" because to me it's fake because I don't really care. I also don't really care when I am off sick with something small like a fever or cold so I don't really care when others are either.

But I do care about peoples birthdays or if something major happens. I will step up and be there for my friend, and even acquaintances that I'm friendly with. I don't feel fake, I also don't care about a lot of things society thinks I should.

Do they know you've been off from work?

If I know a friend has been off work ill for one day i would normally ask them how they were next time I saw them, if it was a couple of days I'd drop a text to check in.

Depending on what the friend said about the other friend, I wouldn't class it as fake. People are real, they're allowed to be annoyed with each other / upset and to talk about that with other people. If it was a simple "oh Jane really upset me the other week by bailing on lunch" then they're out again this week, I'd think they'd sorted it out. If it was "Jane is a nasty person and I hate her" then I'd be more on the side of it being fake! People have a huge spectrum of emotions and don't like everyone else all of the time!

It’s sad isn’t it but I feel you’re right.

You daughter may have a point OP and I doubt she meant it meanly. Life has taught me to expect nothing (apart from one family member) and then I can’t get disappointed. I learned to draw on my own strength and became more resilient.

I don’t get embroiled in gossip though, like you, and don’t respect people who do. It’s just as well I prefer my own company now! When I talk to myself I always know I’ll get an honest answer.

💐 and a hug.

when you say nobody has asked?

do you mean colleagues or friends you've told or do you have good friend at work?

I wouldn't necessarily text a friend to ask how they are

I'm sorry you're feeling low. It gets us all sometimes. I think people come off as fake because they try too hard. Or they try to be someone or something that they're not. I'm probably not the best person to take advice from with regards to people because I generally think people, especially these days, just suck 😂I know they try, but they just plain suck. Try not to read too much into things and what people do or don't do. I find when I'm feeling low, I tend to zero in and fixate on every tiny little thing, which makes me feel worse. Try to let go and put your feet up. Watch some videos of people failing at life, I recommend FailArmy on YouTube.