Want to kick ex husband out but can't?? Won't?? Help!

[Mummypig16]

To start off I'm very non confrontational and the last 10 years of my life have been spent not being able to speak my mind to my husband due to him shutting me down and gas lighting me into me thinking I'm in the wrong.

Anyways! We split up 6 weeks ago. He has finally told his family but they won't let him move in but also told me I can't keep living with him (??? Idk what they expect me to say to that).
He barely has any money and insists he knows we're over. I want him gone but we're both on the tenancy (private renting) though I'm lead tenant and my dad is guarantor.
I don't want to lose my house but he cant/won't leave because he'll be homeless. I couldn't live with myself if he was homeless cause he's a great dad to our 2 dds.
BUT I can't keep living like this. I want to be rid, I'm so over this marriage and I'm ready to MOVE ON and discover happiness as a single mum.
My parents offered to let me n my girls move in with them from July (once my brother finishes his exams) so I can save up some money and be rid of him. But then that's leaving him homeless again cause he can't afford the house on his own and he's not having custody of our kids (we agreed this).
My head is frazzled and I just had the full blown guilt trip and sobbing from him when I told him I'm seriously considering moving out in July. I can't keep living with him, I just can't. But I dont wanna lose the house so I could stick it out a bit longer but my worry is how much longer?? Will he ever leave??
So am I the biggest asshole for this?
Any questions just ask, happy to provide more info

We've had it since October 2022. To be fair we've never been asked to renew the lease...

On that low wage he will get some uc help

As sure you will

So his rent will get mostly paid /something towards a bedsid /one bed flat

You need to tread carefully with your father being guarantor.He needs to leave at the same time as you or before so your father doesn’t get left with the bill.Speak to your landlord.

He is not a great dad because he’s abusing the children’s mother.

Come on OP.

He can afford to support himself in a shared house. He just needs to cut down on his drug use.

Enough now. Tell him he has 1 month to move out.

Stop treating him like a helpless child.

It would be a shame for you to lose a stable rental. He can go rent a room to start until he figures out something better.

since he can’t afford the rent and you have an option to go elsewhere, you can try to force the situation. Tell him if he hasn’t moved out by x date, you are going to put in a notice to terminate the lease on Y date.

If he leaves or at least shows you the contract for where he is moving with reasonable delay, you get to stay on. If not, you have to terminate because he can’t afford the
rent and you can’t leave him in the place. Y

I'd not leave him in the rental alone as it is going to come back on your father as guarantor when he won't pay the rent.
I lost sympathy as soon as you mentioned the weed addiction. He's a fully grown man with kids, he needs to sort his shit out. I presume his family won't take him in as they know that he won't contribute and will sit around smoking and doing fuck all -and to be fair to them, I wouldn't either.
Hand the notice in on the rental, let him know the date you both need to be out and he can get himself sorted. It isn't your problem, stop feeling guilty.

Do you want to and can you afford to stay in the house without any financial contribution from him?

If you do, both you & your father need to contact the landlord and request a variation to the guarantee saying it is subject to the lease being in your name only and your partner to move out.

If you can't afford the rental alone, move back in with your parents.

His housing is not your problem. It's up to him to sort out.

The kids that you have @Mummypig16 - are they his kids or were they by a different man?

You have said that he's a great dad - I would see that there are at least two other kids that are without their father and he's having to pay child support for them so he's not the great dad you're making him out to be.

At this point he could have more than 2 kids on child support and he still isn't standing up and facing his adult responsibilities!

I wouldn't want to lose a tenancy if you're happy there and the kids are stable. I'd speak to your LL first and find out about getting it moved into your name. Give him a month's notice, then chuck him out. Is there someone who can support you to do that - your dad maybe?

If that doesn't work then you will have to move out. But as pp said, be very careful and clear with your land lord about this and do it properly or your dad will be liable for your Ex not paying rent.

He'd get UC, single person's discount on CT (as would you) and, ya know, if he didn't spend his cash on weed he'd have plenty money for rent.

Tell him to start saving for deposit and first month's rent and find a flat . Work out his money together and make a realistic target for how long it will take him . And say either he does this or you move out to parents. But also say he will need a new guarantor for this house. Otherwise your dad will get billed for the rent .
Sounds very stressful for you. I hope you can come to some agreement soon

Afaik (disclaimer: I’m not a solicitor and sorry in advance it’s not better news):

One joint tenant cannot just kick the other one out. Whether the landlord agrees to it is irrelevant. Both joint tenants have the same right to live in the property. So, he is under no obligation to move out (tbh he wouldn’t be even if he wasn’t on the agreement because of the matrimonial home rights but it would be easier to end an agreement only in your name).

If you are in a fixed-term agreement, you can’t really give notice even if the agreement allows for it (not all do) because all joint tenants have to agree to end a fixed term. It’s different with a periodic agreement but the notice requirements are very specific. An invalid notice given on a periodic agreement by one joint tenant won’t end it, because an invalid notice counts only an offer to end the tenancy if the landlord agrees (doesn’t have the power to end anything automatically) and one joint tenant cannot agree to end a tenancy on behalf of all.

If you move out in the fixed term, you’ll still be liable for rent. And the guarantor.

I’d get advice from CAB, Shelter or another charity before you do anything. Otherwise you might end up living with your parents but liable for unpaid rent on the home you jointly rent with your husband.

Btw, if your husband presents to the council as a single bloke, they might have a duty to help him find somewhere to live but not actually sort it out for him. They might also take a view he isn’t homeless as he has a joint tenancy, or intentionally homeless for leaving it voluntarily. The latter two might be debatable in light of a relationship breakdown but depend on certain factors.

This is super helpful, thank you x

No problem.

Btw, forgot to say, one joint tenant can assign their interest in a tenancy to another (so in the case of 2 joint tenants the tenancy would become sole) but imho best not to do it until they have somewhere else lined up as the council might be unsympathetic (they might be wrong if it’s a relationship breakdown scenario but might jump on the fact that someone gave up their home voluntarily).

Also, this can only be done if everyone agrees, including the landlord.

There are ways of excluding people from a property if there’s been abuse etc but best speak to an expert about it if it’s relevant in your case. Perhaps a charity or a local law centre.

He probably just doesn't want to use his weed money to pay more child maintenance,he either needs to get a better paying job or find a second one.

He's not your responsibility anymore,it sounds like his family has cottoned on to his BS too and also wont stand for it.