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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To believe that the mum who said our CofE school was looking too religious was being unreasonable.

39 replies

MehgaLegs · 01/04/2008 17:39

It is a voluntary controlled CofE school with a very Christian head. It's Easter, there is a display about the Easter story in the hall.

OP posts:
louloulouise · 01/04/2008 17:42

YANBU, if she didn't want anything like that then maybe she should have sent her LO to a non-denominational school like we're doing.

meemar · 01/04/2008 17:44

YANBU

lol at christian school being too religious for teaching the easter story!

Blu · 01/04/2008 17:46

Probably not - reasonable for any school to have a display about easter at easter, diwali at diwali, etc.

If it is a school in an area where there is a choice of schools and you have to prove that you are a CoE member to get in, then no, YANBU.

If it is a CoE school which is the ONLY choice of school fr miles around - i.e the only school in the village, then she may have a point, generally (although not really about an easter display at easter - as long as other religions are sometimes featured) but she should write to her MP and the Minister for Education about the lamentable situation where in some areas - esp rural, the only school choice many people have, is a school with strong religious practices. It's hardly the 'fault' of the school itself. But it is an unsatisfactory, undemocratic situation. IMO.

Blu · 01/04/2008 17:48

louloulouise - not everyone has that choice - if they are unable to travel miles and miles to the nearest school which is NOT a CoE foundation school.

girlfrommars · 01/04/2008 18:11

All schools, even non-denominational ones, are likely to do something about Easter surely?

As long as they're not strapping the children into chairs with their eyelids pinned open forcing them to watch 'The Passion of Christ' on a loop it's probably not going to convert them.

Children with Christian parents will get reinforcement at home and at church and associate it with the resurrection of Christ and chocolate eggs. Children with non-religious/non-christian parents will be told 'that's not what we believe' at home and associate it with school holidays and chocolate eggs.

NicMac · 01/04/2008 18:32

She is being unreasonable, what does she expect in a CofE school?

Original poster
MehgaLegs · 01/04/2008 20:04

Ah but Blu - there lies the rub - the family concerned moved to the village specifically to be in catchment as the school was oversubscribed for the year her dd was eligible to enter.

OP posts:
Lubyloo · 01/04/2008 20:08

YANBU but she definitely is!

MilaMae · 01/04/2008 20:29

Yes and no re teh travelling but if they moved as OP says can't really winge.

However I don't know what the display was like but I personally have a bit of a prob with how the Easter story is portrayed to children. I really hate young children(primary) having to hear details of torture ie Jesus being nailed to the cross. No idea what I'm going to do this time next year when my boys start as one is very sensitive.

It'll be a church school but it is our local community school (wouldn't want to go to one away from all dts friends, have to drive etc).However we're not particularly religeous so it's a difficult one as I'm suspecting religeous parents wouldn't have a problem with it.

AMumInScotland · 01/04/2008 21:10

Well, the point of Easter to Christians is the crucifixion and resurrection, so I'm not sure how you can really cover the Easter story without it.... . I'm sure primary schools are quite practised at not going into a lot of detail about the crucifixion itself.

moondog · 01/04/2008 21:11

Nutter alert!!

marina · 01/04/2008 21:15

Well, with Mehgalegs' qualifying further comment, I'd say it was a bit unreasonable of her, tbh
I think most C of E primary schools will focus on the overwhelming joy the disciples felt on seeing Jesus again after they thought they had lost him forever, rather than "do a Mel"

AMumInScotland · 01/04/2008 21:15

Oh, given a choice I'd have a complete separation of church and state, and all state-funded schools would be non-religious. But I think they'd still all teach about religion, and cover the major festivals of the main faiths.

LilyMunster · 01/04/2008 21:17

wot blu said

Oliveoil · 01/04/2008 21:19

dd1 goes to our local CofE school - we also have a choice of Catholic or another non-denom one so did not HAVE to have a church school

this one is raved about however so that is where I wanted her to go

it is quite religious but then.....shocker...it is a church school!

she told me all about Jesus dying over Easter and wasn't at all perturbed by it and she is very sensitive

YANBU

MilaMae · 01/04/2008 22:35

I'm a primary teacher myself and have to say the material read and the way it's put across really varies. Just hearing somebody was nailed to a cross is inappropriate imho, I have had 5 year olds come back from assemblies obviously a little shaken and that is in non church schools. I've managed to read the story myself perfectly well with no details so it is possible. Have no problem at all with any other of the Christian festivals.

I totally agree with Amum- would have a separation given a choice.

MilaMae · 01/04/2008 22:45

Sorry didn't mean to sidetrack!!!!

Blu · 01/04/2008 23:03

Ah, well then, she is a control-freaky-alpha-mummy who wants the world to revolve around her and her dd. "I have to have this school, now I have to have the school jump to my tune, I want...."

I have no sympathy for her! Hopefully the 'very religious Head' will soon ban yoga and all mention of Harry Potter, and instigate a barefoot pilgramage to Walsingham next time there is a cold snap.

LOL at Marina's "do a Mel"

(disclaimer - comments about religious practices wished upon the woman in question are not intended to imply any criticism of head teachers of CoE schools in general, or even in particular, and are not in the view of the poster, even likely)

MarsLady · 01/04/2008 23:29

This reminds me of the first PTA meeting I ever went to. They were talking about having a choir at the Christmas fair. Then one of the mums said that it would be lovely to have a GOSPEL choir but without the religious songs. I still PMSL laughing to this day (and I did rather loudly at the meeting)

Greyriverside · 01/04/2008 23:34

MilaMae, I'm glad you said that. I always think it odd that most people I know keep it quiet if the goldfish dies. Replacing it quickly so as not to upset the kids, yet allow the school to describe torture and execution.
What next? "Story time! and today we have the Yorkshire Ripper with pictures and collectable figures"

Quattrocento · 01/04/2008 23:50

Faith schools are tosh - YABU

Original poster
MehgaLegs · 02/04/2008 12:26

Ok Quattro. interesting POV, but she made an enormous upheaval to get her dd in.

How am I being unreasonable? Please quantify your rather vague statement.

OP posts:
PotPourri · 02/04/2008 12:30

YANBU!!! Easter is what christianity is all about. It's a christian school. If the mum has a problem, then she should go elsewhere!!

YANBU at all

FourJays · 02/04/2008 12:33

It's a bit naughty of her.
I do think, unless there is no choice, church schools should really be for church goers.

Original poster
MehgaLegs · 02/04/2008 12:35

It would be like going all out to get mine into Harrow and then complaining that it was too posh.

It's not the fact that it's a faith school that is the issue here.

OP posts: