To feel bad about being snubbed by a former colleague?

[MadameDeLaRue]

We worked together over 10 years ago. I thought we were reasonably good friends at the time - she invited me to some parties etc.

Went to a get together tonight for old colleagues. She acted super happy to see me but then went to get a drink, promising (without my asking) to come right back. Of course she didn't.

I'm left feeling mortified that I apparently am so boring / annoying / whatever for someone to speak with for 5 minutes. Ugh!

She later gave me a lovely warm hug goodbye 🙄

She probably was really happy to see you! Maybe she started talking to someone else, and forgot that she was going to come back to you. Was it a big party/pub with lots of people?
I can definitely understand that it wasn't a nice feeling to be standing around and feeling forgotten, but don't take it to heart.

@SkaneTos there were quite a few people around! But still, I think if she were actually interested she would have made her way back over.

I suppose you could have gone over to her later to continue the conversation?

It may not have been a snub — isn’t it perfectly possible she was genuinely glad to see you and just got sidetracked? Especially if it was a lot of old faces, you get caught in conversations on your way to the bar and suddenly it’s chucking-out time.

I’m perimenopausal and forget things all the time. I could easily have said to you I will be back in a minute and then forgotten because something distracted me. There are lots of reasons why it might not be a snub. Don’t be hurt by it, don’t overthink it. Unhappiness happens when we expect others to think and behave how we would. Too many variables in life that unless she said “not you!” And walked off first time she saw you, you have no way of knowing her thoughts. Don’t let that weigh you down.

I'm not exactly unhappy...am just writing this one off with disappointment

Honestly, I think you're overthinking this and I really don't think she meant to snub you. She wouldn't have said 'I'll be back in a minute' if she'd actually been intending to avoid you.

People are often scatty and distracted at events like that - you go to grab a drink, then someone else says hi to you at the bar and starts a conversation with you, then someone else joins in, then you turn around and the person you were originally speaking to is talking with someone else and you don't want to interrupt etc etc. Then before you know it, the pub's closing and it's time to go home and you didn't have a proper chat with half the people you wanted to and it's time for goodbye hugs.

Don't worry about it at all.

You are overthinking. This happens all the time at parties. It's nothing personal. Hosting is hectic.