To consider selling our house and travelling the world with two toddlers?

[travellingwithtoddlers]

DH have been discussing the possibility of doing this for a while. DH is incredibly unhappy with his job at the moment and is considering quitting and having a break to de-stress. I am a SAHM and we have two toddlers aged 1 and 3.5.

We don’t need to sell our house to use the money to travel (we have savings we could use). We are considering selling our house, lots of our possessions and our cars in order to reduce our responsibilities here at home and putting things that we want to keep into storage.

Ideally we would spend some time in SE Asia, Australia, the Middle East and perhaps return home after 12-18 months. We would then look to buy a house again upon our return.

Is this idea great or am I just swept up with the excitement of planning the trip? We can afford to support ourselves for the trip, but it would use all of our savings. We would be returning purely to a deposit for a house (from the sale of our current house) which would be approx 40% of the value of the sort of house we would like to buy (if this makes any difference!).

Also - does anyone have any tips on places to visit?!

Yeah, failing your kids is hilarious

I'm genuinely intrigued as to how you think there is a downside to this for the children, providing that OP comes back before her 3.5-year-old starts school.

What stable foundation would they be missing? Lots of kids parent's don't have assets, if you're referring to the house being sold.

@travellingwithtoddlers On the school front, it might be worth researching in the new city. Where I am, there's a big school shortage, so you'd probably get offered a poorly-rated school on the outskirts of nowhere, but it won't be the same everywhere. Some places will have spare spaces in year.

I still wouldn't delay school start, I do think that's unfair, but I would absolutely do the adventure!

You say you're not running from anything, but you also said you DH is 'very unhappy and stressed' – that's not just 'bored of the UK'. What makes him so unhappy? Does he need to re-train or change industries to improve his work happiness?

How late would the school start be? Would you start them in reception a year later? (That runs the risk of effecting your child's self-esteem for the rest of their school career). Or trying to get a place mid-year for the year they were 'supposed' to be in? You should check out how oversubscribed your primary school options are if your plan is to do a mid-year application.

I also wouldn't sell the house – but another thing to consider is that house insurance does not allow you leave the property empty for more than 30-60 days, and it will be a condition of your mortgage (if you have one) to ensure the property is insured.

She says she would be delaying school start though

I have found parts stressful, but overall, I really enjoy taking them away and giving them new experiences (even if they are too young to really remember!).

They are too young to remember any of it to any degree at all. Let's get real. You aren't doing it for them. I think it is a self-indulgent and foolish plan.

You will get a place but you won't get a choice and may have to go to a school many miles away that has a space. You should read the primary education forum about school applications process, there's plenty of info on there.

Do you really think that families without extended families are that damaging to children?

Not necessarily extended families, but adults that a child knows, yes. Also other children as regular playmates.

Our extended family live abroad and up north, respectively, so we don't see them on a weekly basis although they visit often.

But locally nearly-4yo knows, by name and to chat to (supervised): nursery teachers, nursery classmates, several sets of neighbours and their kids/grandkids, our close friends, my "mum friends" and their children.

She's got to know their personalities, likes/dislikes, their idiosyncrasies. And they know hers.

If you're travelling here and there, your child never gets to know anyone properly except the nuclear family. They'd miss out on so much interesting ideas and conversations because all interaction with people outside the family is of a superficial here-today-gone-tomorrow kind. Like I said upthread, a conveyor belt of strangers.

The child also can't become attached to other children as playmates because they don't know if they'll see them again.

I think it sounds like an incredible experience. I’d probably choose AirBnB/apart-hotels rather than hotels - you end up going to sleep at the same time as the kids if you’re piled into one room and access to some sort of kitchen helps with food costs to have some meals in.

I travelled the world independently in my 20s and I would say absolutely not with toddlers. It's challenging enough as it is. I don't think it'd be fair on them either.

To be clear, I think travelling abroad, as in going on holidays, is great for kids and we do it once or twice a year. It's great to see new places. We're actually going to visit relatives in SE Asia ourselves later this year, for two weeks.

But I think a stable home, a base that you return to after travelling, is essential for emotional and social development too.

What a strange POV. Children are too young to remember most things as toddlers - does this mean we shouldn’t take them to soft play, toddler classes, farm parks etc? Just because they won’t remember it, it doesn’t mean it’s not beneficial to them! Many places are so much more family friendly than the UK with plenty for DC to do. As long as DC are cared for and not just dragged around places that are in appropriate for kids - now is it self indulgent and foolish?!

It sounds wonderful.
I travelled independently, around Asia mainly and it’s such an exciting thing to do.
We took our kids for 6months and they learnt so much and experienced so many things they could never do on a shorter holiday. It’s made them very adventurous.
We have friends that sailed around the world for a year with their sons (10 and 12) and when they got back they were well ahead of others the same age and breezed into grammar school as extremely well rounded individuals.

I wouldn’t sell my house though, I’d think about renting it out OP, as long as the Govn doesn’t decide you have to keep tenants for two years. If you’re near a University renting to students might be the best option.

I doubt it is going to be particularly beneficial for your dc at their age but I wouldn't think it would be harmful either.

Being back in the UK with broke parents, with no accommodation and no jobs might be harmful.

I don't know if I've missed how you are going to be able to buy a home when you return or find rental accommodation?

It sounds amazing, if you have 80-100k you would need to finance it. I'd skip Dubai but the rest sounds great.

Several people have asked but I still don't understand how you would buy a house on your return if you don't work and DH has to find a new job.

It does sound amazing, OP.

As PP’s have said, some people are more comfortable with risk-taking than others. I love traveling but am nervous about taking big financial risks-I couldn’t use all my savings to finance a trip, for example, especially if I had a young family. I’d need a good wedge of cash left over!

But you’re not me. You might be more comfortable taking that financial risk.

We did exactly this. Left the country for 12 months with a 3.5 year old and a 6 month old. We rented out our house, sold the car, and a lot of 'stuff.' We left the country with two suitcases, a baby seat and a buggy. Looking back now I think we were crazy 😆 But it was great, we had an amazing time! Came back in time for my oldest to start school.

We stayed in a combination of accommodation types. Mostly serviced apartments and in the USA a 30 foot RV. We mixed it up - thatched bures on the beach in Fiji, resort style in Thailand. In the USA we had some hotel / motel breaks from the RV in Las Vegas and Los Angeles.

It wasn't all plain sailing - the children got sick in Fiji and were quite poorly. We also really struggled in China - it's not an easy place to travel with children - we eventually escaped to Hong Kong.

We absolutely loved our US & NZ road trip legs and we found Thailand and Cambodia incredible for the children. I found out I was pregnant in the last month of the trip - I had all of my early scans in Kuala Lumpur - good medical options, not my favourite city.

We literally did it all RV, hovercraft, speedboat, sleeper train, bus, hire car, Tuktuks a-plenty. It was exhausting, exhilarating and extremely liberating. Leaving NYC in a RV was terrifying but so much fun.

Our golden rules were healthy meals for the children - home cooked where possible and to give the children the mornings. Full bellies with good food and lots of exercise were key.

Mornings were very child centric - the park, the beach, as much physical activity as possible, then downtime before lunchtime naps then afternoons/evenings for adult activities - museums, attractions reading, swimming etc. We tried to keep to a reasonable routine but didn't sweat the small stuff. Bath/shower/stories most nights.

Yes, it is self-indulgent and foolish to throw away your stability and financial future for an ill-thought-out whiim, which will have far more effect on them than some making memories fantasy - more likely embedded traumatic memories of all the longhaul flights they got stuffed on when they were toddlers.

Yes it’s not that easy or affordable to rent your own house out. The government has made sure that being a landlord isn’t worth it anymore, thus fuelling the housing crisis further.

That is just nonsense. Just because it doesn't suit you, doesn't mean that it's self indulgent & foolish. Open your mind a little. Life is very short.

Life without a job, or a mortgage feels longer.

Lol. Not everybody aspires to a job and mortgage. I definitely don't. I have neither and am very happy with my lot in life.

I work extremely hard (self employed) and live in a rental. You cannot pop all your possessions and money into your coffin when you shuffle off this mortal coil. Your way is fine FOR YOU. Try to respect or at least accept other people have different priorities.

Mate, you know nothing about me.

The OP has two small children to consider. Or not, in this instance.

But the point is that children of that age do remember things that are repeated/familiar. Small kids thrive on familiarity.

Eg my nearly-4yo can lead the way when we walk to our familiar places. She is surprised and amused if we're in the car and I drive a different route from usual. But if we always went a different route every single day, she wouldn't remember/recognise any of them.

I mean sure, I've taken my dd on a submarine on holiday once, when she was 2.5yo (the glass kind for seeing sea creatures). And she does remember it and talk about it. It was great. We saw a red sea star, and the submarine was yellow. We glowed blue from the light coming in. These bits she remembers.

But if we literally did a new thing like that every month, it'd just be a bewildering blur with no familiar anchor of home. She wouldnt even appreciate the novelty of any of it.

Yes@ChiefEverythingOfficer , everyone’s different and you’ve clearly made it work for your family. Did you carry on traveling when your children were older and home school?

I think that we might have been a bit braver travel-wise if we’d had family whom we could rely on if anything went wrong, but we don’t. Once we had children, we felt that we always needed our own home.