Undermining?

[LilacHedgehog]

These are a couple of recent examples, but stuff like this happens frequently.

On monday evening I asked the younger of our two kids to brush their teeth. My wife said no, the older one should brush theirs first.

This morning, it was my turn to do the school run. DW was sitting at her desk working from home. I call the children to come and get in the car. DW says no, it's not time to go yet, you've got two minutes. So as you'd expect, both children go back up to their rooms and I have to go and retrieve them again two minutes later.

I would never dream of overruling her over something so petty as who brushes their teeth first or a two minute difference in what time to leave the house. I instinctively feel like it's one of those things that you Should Not Do, because it effectively teaches the children that instructions from one of their parents can be safely ignored.

Is it unreasonable to think she shouldn't be doing this?

You are right she is wrong. Even if she has good reason for the eldest to do theirs first such as needs the eldest to do his first because the younger one will only do it if she helps them and she's just finishing off a work email but even then she needs to take this up with you privately and NOT undermine you infront of the children. It sends a bad message that what you say the children can ignore. And obviously you don't undermine her like you said you don't but she is well within her rights also to bring it up privately with you

Yes, and apparently I shouldn't make an issue out of it because they're only small things. I supposed the pettiness argument works both ways.

I am, and I do understand that it makes a difference. What I'm describing would obviously not be ok for a man to do to his wife, but the other way round maybe it's just one of those things.

YANBU - this sounds really annoying. I would keep "making an issue out of it" every time until she stops.

She needs a good taking too. That is terrible. If it’s your day to take the kids tell her to mind her business and not undermine you. I would go batshit over this

she must have little to be at if she is micro managing you all that much.

@LilacHedgehog

interesting username for a bloke 🤣

Does she usually get them ready & out of the house in the morning or is it 50:50?

maybe she has a good reason for her 'over riding' but I can't think what?

She'd need to explain them or STFU on your mornings. I'm surprised you didn't just leave as you were.

id have said to the kids I am taking you to school & I said to get in the car!

Dont let yourself be undermined!

& if she thinks they're 'only little things' the she needs to learn to keep her mouth shut when it doesn't concern her!

im female if it makes any difference.

Yawn, you're the poster threatening a right wing uprising on the St George Flag / Tommy Robinson thread.

Surely there's a reddit you're better suited to?