Sickness bug first birthday

[JKRIsRight]

So here's the thing, my sister is supposed to be having a first birthday party for my nephew on Saturday but they are ill with a sickness bug.
The kids came down with it on Monday-Tuesday and herself, brother in law came down with it today.

I have cancelled going as I don't want to risk exposure to it as it's clearly very contagious and assuming bil has stopped being sick tomorrow that's cutting it close to 48hr mark. (I still wouldn't risk Sunday either from personal experience, that it may be living in the environment and my ds likes to touch things and stick his hands in his mouth).

Sister is now not speaking to me and has told us all to eff off, my mum seemed to think I was being overly harsh and the weekend would be fine especially this Sunday, but again if we all come down with it that means time off work and sick ds. Also I'm not sure if dsis would be entirely honest about when symptoms stopped for bil.

Aware this may be a bit harsh, but I also think exposing ds to potential norovirus is selfish for my sisters happiness. She has bought party food though etc and now I feel bad but of course I will still give dn his presents.

AIBU.

I think it's unfortunate, but personally I wouldn't be hosting people in a house where everyone is still recovering from a sickness bug. I wouldn't be happy hosting when I still felt rubbish from a bug - which is likely to be the case.

I think it's okay to say you can't make it. If you're the only ones she can carry on with the party. If others pull out, she can re-schedule for the following weekend. Most food can be kept or frozen or put to other use. I think it is unfortunate, but it wouldn't be a good enough reason for me to possibly take the whole house out sick from school/work with an illness that could be preventable.

I'm with you. I know kids can get stomach bugs anywhere and it's just one of those things. But we're so pushed for annual leave with school holidays etc that I wouldn't go to this party and knowingly risk having to take even more time off work with a vomiting child (or two). That's on top of the unpleasantness of the bug itself of course.

DD turned 1 last month and we cancelled her party for this exact reason, we had all stopped being sick by Friday afternoon and the party was scheduled for Sunday but I didn't want to risk anyone else catching anything. I was gutted but health comes first surely? He isn't going to remember his first birthday.

You’re definitely not bu, do people think passing illness around is fair game?. There’s no way I’d be risking anything like that when it comes to bugs, people especially children can be hospitalised. They’re definitely not “harmless” like some people say.

As an emetophobe I wouldn't be going (and my family / close friends wouldn't expect me to as they know my stance) but also as an emetophobe I fully admit I am OTT about sickness bugs.

I can understand they are upset but they must also understand your view.

YANBU, I would never knowingly expose my DC to these kinds of bugs. I have a phobia of vomit but that aside these types of bugs are incredibly disruptive, time of school and work, bedding often ruined, awake half the night.

One of my DC always takes these things very badly and has been ill for weeks in the past.

Nope, the risk is always there but when you actually know that the whole house has been exposed then it’s madness to go this quickly afterwards.

It is unfortunate timing, but I do think they could be putting people at risk of catching this bug if they are holding the party at home. Bugs can stay on surfaces for some time and it's clearly a very contagious bug. If it was being held in a venue I'd probably still go, but if its at your sisters house , which is what it sounds like , then I wouldn't go in your position.

Your sister is naturally going to be disappointed as its her child's 1st birthday, but I think you are doing the right thing for your family and not willingly exposing them to a nasty stomach bug!

Nope I wouldn’t be going either. It’s one thing to get it without knowing and another thing to go into a vomity house

Yeah it's at her house, the fact it could be on surfaces is what worries me as kids are always touching everything and putting hands in mouths.
My sister is the kind to go over the top with everything (left the family group and having a meltdown basically) so I knew it would upset her but end of the day the whole house has been affected so it's clearly very contagious. She's also been going on about having chills today so still unwell after a couple days.
Also last time my ds was sick was horrible (holding him crying mummy and sick all over everywhere) I can't afford to take time off for a week either as my workplace is very strict on using annual leave for kids first.
To knowingly infect him assuming they are still contagious is something I would rather avoid.

And there’s a huge difference say meeting her in a cafe where you can wash your kids hands before they eat and lie you said it being on all the surfaces and furnishings in the house. So going to the house is far more of a risk than them say coming to your house

You are being sensible , it's awful seeing your child poorly so why would you risk infecting him, especially as your sister will be preparing food etc. Being sick is horrible for children, and like you said, requires time off work. Sometimes it is inevitable, but this isn't one of those situations.

Your sister is being selfish if she can't understand that