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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Any other expats missing their parents terribly?

6 replies

BadLuck2023 · 24/04/2024 12:10

Posted here for traffic mostly, I am very homesick.

My SO and I have been living in our new home for nearly 2 years and have recently (yesterday) come back from a holiday visiting our parents.

It was absolutely wonderful and we had an amazing time, however I feel so guilty and homesick about not being near them. Our home here is beautiful, we have good friends and work is great but I really miss my dad in particular.

Any advice on shaking the homesick feeing is welcome. Before the trip back I was fine!

OP posts:
Catza · 24/04/2024 12:17

I think it takes time, a lot of time. I have now been living away from home for 20 years and I remember the first two being really rough. It's a lot better now although I am painfully aware of my grandmother not getting any younger and I would love to spend a lot more time with her.
At one point, we maintained quite limited communications but in the last couple of years I don't go more than a few days without messaging my aunt and they video call me every time they have a get-together so I can be with them "at the table". So the feeling waxes and wanes but I am definitely don't feel nearly as homesick as I felt in the first couple of years living abroad.

YouveGotAFastCar · 24/04/2024 12:32

Trips home will probably do this to you for a while. It's why a lot of people plan long trips a few years apart rather than regular ones!

The homesickness in general fades over time, too - and you've got brilliant ways to still connect with them now, FaceTime, messages, postcards if they make you happy!

Disturbia81 · 24/04/2024 12:44

I did and was only gone 18 months, and visited twice in that time. Had the urge to move back so did and had a few great months with my mum before she suddenly unexpectedly died. So glad I came back

JassyRadlett · 24/04/2024 12:46

I'm at nearly 20 years and I'll admit it's only the last two or three that I haven't had a lump in my throat or been quite teary when I board the plane back to the UK. I had to be very clear to my husband that he wasn't allowed to be nice to me until the drinks were served or it would risk a full sobbing mess.

BadLuck2023 · 24/04/2024 13:02

JassyRadlett · 24/04/2024 12:46

I'm at nearly 20 years and I'll admit it's only the last two or three that I haven't had a lump in my throat or been quite teary when I board the plane back to the UK. I had to be very clear to my husband that he wasn't allowed to be nice to me until the drinks were served or it would risk a full sobbing mess.

I couldn't speak to my other half till we'd been in the air for quite a while, the tears were on the brink!

OP posts:
Mumofleo123 · 24/04/2024 15:30

A lot of my family live over in the US and we found it helpful to schedule a fortnightly familying zoom call to catch up! Maybe if you know when you will be talking to them, it might be easier to not feel as homesick.

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